38F and finding it difficult to get laid

[NeonSoda]

So here's the thing.

I'm a reasonably decent person (I try my best). I have a good and secure job in a field I'm extremely passionate about (it's charitable work). I own my own house. Have a decent education (I'm working on a PhD). I look after myself and my body. I have a smattering of interesting hobbies.

I'm not the greatest looking, but I'm not bad looking, and I never struggled to get laid when I was in my late twenties, nor when I was in an open relationship which I ended last year.

I have absolutely no problems making and maintaining meaningful friendships. I get on well with my coworkers and other acquaintances in my network.
I also go on fairly regular dates. At least a couple a month, mostly from online dating apps.

But I cannot seem to turn any dates or online chats into actual sex.

Ideally, I'm looking for ongoing hookups or a casual relationship with someone my age who lives nearish.

I'm genuinely starting to wonder if guys can sense that I'm perimenopausal. 😂

Where would you start trying to fix the problem if you were me?

True if you're not fussy.

😅😅

Me too

Even if you are.

Seriously! Not that hard.

There's a website a colleague used for hook ups. Plenty of fish?? She got into a part of it called something ponds. The ponds were for casual sex. They ran weekends where houses were rented for this purpose.

And yet… here I am… struggling to make that happen! 😅

That sort of thing isn’t really what I’m looking for. Sex parties are easy enough to get invited to, and I’ve done plenty in the past, but these days it’s not really my thing.

Agree with this.

So did I!

Ah not long til this old chestnut came out.

Women! Know your limits, only pensioners will want you if you're over 35.

Thank god Mumsnet isn't realistic

Pretty sure the OP is a bloke.

Last time I checked, I was not.

I’ll make sure though. Thanks for the constructive reply! 😉

Sssssh. Us women over 35 are ancient and no longer desirable for any man under 70. ;-)

Read the OP twice to find out what big boobs had to do with your question.. 🙄 sorry OP, I've no advice but hang in there

I did too!

God that’s so gross! I can’t imagine anything less sexually appealing!

I'm familiar with the reddit style posting so I didn't mistake it for a bra size. I used to though.

I think you can get laid if you want to but your standards are too high for what is available out there for you. Be patient and keep trying or relax your standards.

When you're younger chances are you were less and wise and picky, more men your age were single and sorry but most of us looked better, too.

If you can't shag without mental connection and wanting to be on the same page, that's as hard as finding a boyfriend. If you just focus on physical chemistry it should be easier to find someone, just don't spend time discussing instead of kissing because the more opinionated you are the less there are men who are on your wavelength and if he just wants a FWB and he is attractive, he has so many other options that don't grill him about feminism and politics.

I also think that there are more women up for casual sex due to less stigma that men are not as desperate as they used to particularly if they are attractive women will be approaching them and exes constantly hitting them up so the 'quality' men don't need to work for a FWB and when they want to seriously date their standards are incredibly high.. and it won't be your PhD and house, it will be how young and tight your arse is.

I wondered why someone with a 38F bust size would have any trouble getting laid?

With 38Fs?

OP - it really is probably worth reporting your thread & asking HQ to change the title. I know it’s just about a difference in chat forum language but otherwise every MNer who finds this thread is going to make the bra size comment.

I actually think my standards aren't particularly high!

• Sexually attractive to me
• Looks after her/hisself
• Reasonable enough person to spend an evening or day with, doing something other than sex, every now and again.
• Not cheating on their partner
• Financially stable (i.e. they aren't going to turn up on my doorstep and ask to stay for a few weeks)

I would say this is all very likely. Literally ALL my male friends in their 40s (under 45) who have gone on to second relationships are with women 10-15 years younger. One is 43 and has recently married a 27 year old. Another has married a 30 year old. Various others are with women under 35.

I think men over 35 prefer younger women, generally. There will be exceptions. My husband is the the only one in his friendship group who is with a woman near his own age. I’m two years younger than him. I do wonder if he might decide he wants a younger model now I’m 40.

I feel like I’m the only person who knew what OP meant with “38F”. 😁

You're right, of course. There is a lot of patriarchal nonsense in our society that makes it acceptable and encouraged for men dating younger women to be regarded as normal and indeed desirable.

Have you tried Feeld.