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Original poster

I think my DH cheated on me last night

382 replies

nnamechangee · 18/06/2023 08:50

We have been together a long time and have 3 young children, youngest is 3 months old.

We have been having some problems for a few months but if we talked properly things could have been resolved. He went out last night and came home this morning at 7.30am (he has never done this before). He text me at 4am saying he couldn't get a taxi and had to walk home. Technically it would take him this timeframe to come home.

However his clothes have makeup on them, smell like perfume and his trousers look like they have sperm on them, I have taken photos. He will deny this but I think there is just too much evidence here now.

I'm devastated and have to carry on as normal today for the children.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 18/06/2023 08:51

Yeah I'd come to that conclusion too. Is there anyone who can take the dc for a couple of hours so you two can gave a conversation?

Ilikewinter · 18/06/2023 08:58

Yeah I think I wouldnt believe whatever he told me either.

DrMorbius · 18/06/2023 09:03

You think he kept his trousers on while having sex?🤔

Bringonthesunforthewashing · 18/06/2023 09:04

Doesn’t look good at all op, I am sorry x.

Does he have form for this?

I don’t suppose he could have been to a strip club sort of place and had a lap dance? That could explain both?

ilovelamp82 · 18/06/2023 09:05

I'm sorry. Can you ask him to leave? You don't have to carry on as normal for the kids. Something traumatic has happened to you. It isn't your responsibility to let him get away with it for the sake of the kids. Can someone take the kids so you can talk about this and send him to his parents or a friend's house? I'm sorry he's done this to you.

Thehippowife · 18/06/2023 09:06

ilovelamp82 · 18/06/2023 09:05

I'm sorry. Can you ask him to leave? You don't have to carry on as normal for the kids. Something traumatic has happened to you. It isn't your responsibility to let him get away with it for the sake of the kids. Can someone take the kids so you can talk about this and send him to his parents or a friend's house? I'm sorry he's done this to you.

This. Use today to draw a line in the sand and start forward planning.

Fraaahnces · 18/06/2023 09:08

Drop him at his parents and hand them his clothes to wash. Let them know that he didn’t come home last night and the makeup’s not yours.

Mommasgotabrandnewbag · 18/06/2023 09:08

DrMorbius · 18/06/2023 09:03

You think he kept his trousers on while having sex?🤔

Not that hard to visualise surely?

CherryCokeFanatic · 18/06/2023 09:09

Does he have any female friends or relatives? Might have just talked to them and had a hug?

The sperm on trousers sounds unlikely. HmmCould be anything.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 18/06/2023 09:10

DrMorbius · 18/06/2023 09:03

You think he kept his trousers on while having sex?🤔

You think men having a quickie round the back of the pub take off their trousers and fold them neatly and pop them back on afterwards?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 18/06/2023 09:11

CherryCokeFanatic · 18/06/2023 09:09

Does he have any female friends or relatives? Might have just talked to them and had a hug?

The sperm on trousers sounds unlikely. HmmCould be anything.

It has a specific smell, and a certain texture after it's been left a while.

Usernamenotavailab · 18/06/2023 09:14

Fraaahnces · 18/06/2023 09:08

Drop him at his parents and hand them his clothes to wash. Let them know that he didn’t come home last night and the makeup’s not yours.

Why would you make it his parents problem?

he’s an adult. Hand him his own washing, let him know the make up’s not yours and he can find elsewhere to sleep.

Original poster
nnamechangee · 18/06/2023 09:15

DrMorbius · 18/06/2023 09:03

You think he kept his trousers on while having sex?🤔

No like pulled down if standing up.

OP posts:
Cosycover · 18/06/2023 09:16

Usernamenotavailab · 18/06/2023 09:14

Why would you make it his parents problem?

he’s an adult. Hand him his own washing, let him know the make up’s not yours and he can find elsewhere to sleep.

Show quote history

Agree. No need to involve his parents.

Tell him to wash his own clothes and pack his own bags.

Original poster
nnamechangee · 18/06/2023 09:17

He doesn't speak to his parents, I threw his clothes at home in bed and he woke up. Got dressed again and came downstairs to talk, he knows he's done wrong or he would have just stayed in bed since he didn't get home until a few hours ago.

I've told him it's over and he immediately was like you can't afford this house and the kids are staying with me etc etc.

OP posts:
lalalalalalaleeee · 18/06/2023 09:19

nnamechangee · 18/06/2023 09:17

He doesn't speak to his parents, I threw his clothes at home in bed and he woke up. Got dressed again and came downstairs to talk, he knows he's done wrong or he would have just stayed in bed since he didn't get home until a few hours ago.

I've told him it's over and he immediately was like you can't afford this house and the kids are staying with me etc etc.

If he's defensive he's guilty.

Ask him to leave while you decide what to do.

Original poster
nnamechangee · 18/06/2023 09:20

He won't leave, I can't stop crying I need to pull it together. He has never done this before but it's the Final straw after the past number of months. I can't afford to leave I'm on maternity I need to save

OP posts:
pinksheetss · 18/06/2023 09:21

So sorry OP
Did he admit to cheating ?

Huga · 18/06/2023 09:22

Can we see the photos?

Sounds guilty.

ilovelamp82 · 18/06/2023 09:22

Wow. He sounds lovely. You don't deserve this. Tell him to leave. Is he seriously implying you have to put up with this shit because you may not be able to afford the house by yourself? What a guy.

BillyNoM8s · 18/06/2023 09:24

Huga · 18/06/2023 09:22

Can we see the photos?

Sounds guilty.

You want to see spunk stained trousers? Confused

ilovelamp82 · 18/06/2023 09:25

Do you have any kind of relationship with his parents? Can you call them, let them know that he's cheated on you and that he won't leave to let you get your head together and look after their children and ask them to tell him to leave? What is his plan? To just force you to get over it? I'm so angry for you.

Freefall212 · 18/06/2023 09:25

How long until you had planned to start work again? Is your income sufficient to make things fairly equal? If you plan to leave now, you are going to have to get back to work. Your emotions are high at the moment, it might be better to plan out the separation rather than just walk out. You can't force him to leave. Is your house big enough for each of you to have a room and your own space if the kids share?

Huga · 18/06/2023 09:25

BillyNoM8s · 18/06/2023 09:24

You want to see spunk stained trousers? Confused

Show quote history

Oh I didn't read that bit. I meant the make up 😂😂😂

BranchGold · 18/06/2023 09:25

How do your bank accounts operate? Are they joint? I think I’d be tempted to transfer at least half over into an account only you can access.

the fact he’s threatening to take the kids from you at step 1, makes me think he’s going to play this out like a complete bellend.

Do you have a supportive family?