How did you confront OW when you found out?

[BabaJel]

I've just told friend of 12 years who is shagging partner of 23 years exactly what I thought of her in a text - there were lots of expletives and I called her an ugly cunt, sent her details of the brothel he'd visited and called her a cunt again. I know the relationship is over and I'm not proud of my text but my goodness it felt good!

Once I saw she'd read message, I blocked her (he's been blocked for a long time). I don't intend to contact either one of them again and it feels like this sorry saga has concluded.
I would love to hear how others 'dealt' with the OW. I'm sure there have been much more creative ways.

@SconesCreamJamTea my niece!

It's not that deep so try not to get depressed. If someone accuses of you being the “OW”, then that would be incredibly juvenile.

You're right it's not deep, but it certainly is depressing the number of women who think it's impossible to believe a married man is 100% responsible for his own commitment unless you shag one. Someone got accused of it earlier on the thread, although not me this time.

The pretzels some people will tie themselves in to deflect blame from a shitty cheating man while railing about how much they hate cheats and cheating are astonishing. Yes, it complicates the issue if she was supposed to be your friend, but lo and behold, even when that's the case, OP is still only talking about her and asking for stories about her, and MN provides. With some patently bullshit stories, true, but the point is, the appetite is there.

Classic response is a quick line about the man being a dick in order to clear the way for paragraphs and paragraphs about the OW. In one case, the cheating man who takes blowjobs from female staff is presented in the story as an agent of justice. Bullshit story, but again, the point is: the appetite is there. It's what everyone wants to hear.

Why do so many women expect another woman to protect their marriage better than their own husbands? Why do they expect other women to prioritise them when husbands don't?

And why do they wonder why so many men cheat in a world that viciously blames women, and defends blaming women, when they do?

On reflection, childish but satisfying because it was an unexpected opportunity to piss her off. I didn't know that the Team she was working with (different company) had a meeting at my workplace - in a room adjacent to my 'War Room' (Project space). I was taken aback when I saw them waiting in Reception - luckily, I'd donned one of my most flattering suits (those were the days!) it was a clinched in Dolce and Gabbana jacket with pencil skirt (almost illegal back slit) accessorised with high heeled knee length black leather boots. Childish bit was I got people to walk past their glass encased meeting room giving her 'evils' - I know, pointless and stupid . . . but bitch had knowingly gone to MY home when I was working away! I know it was silly but did provide amusement to her Team plus my lot.

If it is an established relationship where family and friends know you and socialise with you then you need to bring in up calmly in a familily or social situation. When they say anything about you as a couple you need to say in front of the family 'so how does that fit in with you fucking Linda' maybe as a single man it might.
Don't engage with her. You won't win that one. Go for his total embarrassment, she will live that anyway.

My friend’s husband started an affair with their next door neighbour. The marriage ended as a result (as well as the marriage of the neighbour) over five years ago. Friend has continued living next to this woman, and her ex -husband is still involved in that relationship and spends time at neighbor’s house. She exacted her revenge in a way that I’m not going to go into as it’s unique and very outing. Many people would not approve, but having binned a spouse who had an affair with a colleague, I get it. The absolute disgust and rage at the betrayal of a spouse and a supposed “friend” is almost too much to endure.

Take no notice of @BonnieGlasses
I hope you can find some peace going forward. I've never been cheated on but I think that I would send a message very similar to yours.

She lived next door, I’ve got children so has she so initial confrontation was done via what’s app, although I did fling my ex’s belongings in her garden.

I went away the day after I found out, only my family knew where I was, came back played I will survive full blast.

Made sure I looked absolutely amazing every day even when taking the bins out.

I was fed up of her sitting in her garden looking me up down so one day when the kids were out I said ‘When are you moving, she replied with ‘I’m not’ even though I had seen her house up for rent. I proceeded to say no the wonder he isn’t telling anyone about you, your an absolute mess 😂

She eventually moved after 4 months, she has done me the biggest favour ever, he was a narcissist cheating coke head.

They live together now and there’s still not a sign of her anywhere on his social media 😂

I don't blame you for your actions as you've been extremely hurt and must be feeling devastated.

I found out my ex husband was having an affair. I sent him ONE text saying I had found out about the affair and I was therefore leaving him. Luckily it was a religious marriage only, not legal.
I then blocked him and went no contact FOREVER. I was devastated, hurt, heartbroken. But I was determined neither he nor her would ever get an ounce of emotion out of me or get to see me angry or sad.
He made multiple attempts to contact me which I did not respond to.
I left with dignity.
I know that my dignified silence absolutely destroyed him WAY more than any angry messages or words. It made him realise he'd lost a woman who respected herself.
I got my divorce and remarried an amazing man I've now been very happy with.

I called her, told her he had died and would she want to come to the funeral. He hadn't but the massive sob she gave was priceless.

Not to be rude but the actual thread is about OW... that's why they keep getting mentioned...

It's not a thread about the cheating twat partners.

The point is that the thread is pretty much always about OW.

Women seem to be more outraged and confused over why an OW prioritised her wants over them than they are about why their own husbands did the same.

I appreciate this OP's OW was a friend, which of course is a whole new betrayal. But it's still a thread about OW in general and not actual cheating men, because it bloody always is.

I really wish sometimes that the thread was kept on topic instead of a constant bun fight online about who is in the wrong or not.

Be nice just to read the stories without having to flick over the arguing.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Er, then don't perpetuate them?