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Original poster

How did you confront OW when you found out?

214 replies

BabaJel · 08/06/2023 18:51

I've just told friend of 12 years who is shagging partner of 23 years exactly what I thought of her in a text - there were lots of expletives and I called her an ugly cunt, sent her details of the brothel he'd visited and called her a cunt again. I know the relationship is over and I'm not proud of my text but my goodness it felt good!

Once I saw she'd read message, I blocked her (he's been blocked for a long time). I don't intend to contact either one of them again and it feels like this sorry saga has concluded.
I would love to hear how others 'dealt' with the OW. I'm sure there have been much more creative ways.

OP posts:
Ladysaurus · 08/06/2023 21:26

My gf went and slept with my best friend. We didn't live together. She still lived at home with her parents, her mum still did her laundry (we were all mid20s). I wrapped something no one wants their mother to find up in the clothes I sent back to her when we exchanged stuff. She put them straight in the laundry for her mother to find. As expected.

Sunshine0x · 08/06/2023 21:33

I'm so sorry OP what a terrible double betrayal , do you have kids together? If not I'd pack his bags throw them at OWs door then block him on everything and her. Keep your dignity now just ice them both out.

Thoughtful2355 · 08/06/2023 21:37

My friend,

She went round to the OW house, and thanked her whilst ditching all of his belongings.

Told the OW all the details of what a twat he was, how she only stayed for the kids but thankgod hes the one that fucked up and made THIS OW so obvious ( meaning there were plenty before her) so she can leave happily and not waste another moment blabla, let all of his shortcomings out onto the OW.

Wishitsnows · 08/06/2023 21:38

Well done OP. There is always so much talk of keep your dignity, say nothing. But all that seems to do is enable men with being utter pricks.

Revoltingrhyme · 08/06/2023 21:44

When people say something - they regret it.
When they don’t - they regret that too.

there’s no winning on what to do when your heart has just been shattered and if it was with your friend of 12 years then she is absolutely everything you called her

Cimone · 08/06/2023 21:47

This was a very unintelligent, blame shifting and undignified response. Just plain ignorant to be blunt. The person you should have been going off on and screaming at is your partner, not someone else. HIS commitment which he seems to have forgotten about, is to you, right?. HE is the one who cheated on you, HE is the one that hurt you, HE is the one that stabbed you in the back, HE is the one who didn't care about you or your relationship as long as he got what he wanted.

I think you know that but are just too afraid to confront him realistically, so you flip the hell out at the woman because that is safe. You know if you confront HIM, you'll be forced to do something about it like leave. And since you don't want to leave your cheating, lying, backstabbing man, you instead vent your anger at other persons.

Watch:

MY MAN IS CHEATING ON ME! Why Blame the Other Woman for What He Did?

Your man cheated on you, and you're angry and hurt. Why do so many women focus on the other woman and what "she shouldn't have done!" vs. their man's behavio...

https://youtu.be/iybB-Jxboyo

2ndMrsdeWinter · 08/06/2023 21:48

I didn’t waste my energy. I bumped into her recently and could barely be bothered to muster up mild annoyance. She is a sad person.

BeachBabyBaboon · 08/06/2023 21:51

My anger would be directed at him not OW.

FuckNuggets · 08/06/2023 21:55

Cimone · 08/06/2023 21:47

This was a very unintelligent, blame shifting and undignified response. Just plain ignorant to be blunt. The person you should have been going off on and screaming at is your partner, not someone else. HIS commitment which he seems to have forgotten about, is to you, right?. HE is the one who cheated on you, HE is the one that hurt you, HE is the one that stabbed you in the back, HE is the one who didn't care about you or your relationship as long as he got what he wanted.

I think you know that but are just too afraid to confront him realistically, so you flip the hell out at the woman because that is safe. You know if you confront HIM, you'll be forced to do something about it like leave. And since you don't want to leave your cheating, lying, backstabbing man, you instead vent your anger at other persons.

Watch:

You obviously missed the bit where he was shagging her best friend of 12 years? Or are your standards for friends that low that you expect them to shag your partner?

midsomermurderess · 08/06/2023 21:55

‘A bit more dignity would have been better’. That really takes the biscuit.

FuckNuggets · 08/06/2023 21:56

BeachBabyBaboon · 08/06/2023 21:51

My anger would be directed at him not OW.

You wouldn't vent your anger at your friend that shagged your partner, really? What would you continue to be friends with her?

Theskyoutsideisblue · 08/06/2023 21:56

Why can’t the anger be at both?

Lachimolala · 08/06/2023 21:56

CreepingJenny · 08/06/2023 19:34

I feel the same!

I was young and didn’t want to rock the boat more (have to laugh about that now!) thought he’d come back - he got off so light

Show quote history

Me too! Wish I’d not taken the high road and let rip on the gross cheating buffoons.

WtP · 08/06/2023 21:57

FuckNuggets · 08/06/2023 21:55

You obviously missed the bit where he was shagging her best friend of 12 years? Or are your standards for friends that low that you expect them to shag your partner?

Show quote history

Exactly, both of them have betrayed her. Her partner more so but her best friend as well!

Pearfacebananamoomoo · 08/06/2023 21:57

Not me but I know of a couple of corkers...

1 - a woman walked into the office where her cheating husband and the person he was cheating with worked, dumped her 9 month old child in car seat on the OW's desk and said "here you go you want my life take it all"

2 - a woman who discovered her husband was having an affair with someone who worked in Starbucks write on Facebook for everyone to go into said Starbucks and give their name as her name so she had to keep saying the wife's name all day!

MorrisZapp · 08/06/2023 21:58

Grumpigal · 08/06/2023 21:10

Think I sent a message and she ended up ringing me.

I didn’t call her any names but I did say some very cutting things which definitely would have hit a raw nerve. She was a junior in a very prestigious company and by shagging my DH (her senior) had pretty much given herself the kind of reputation you absolutely would not want, completely and utterly fucked her career. I told her so much, which she would have known deep down but would have been in denial.

I also told her that all of her senior management knew so she would likely be facing dismissal (they didn’t, but it felt good to make her shit herself with worry for a few days).

I actually did stay quite dignified, they only lasted 4/6 weeks after our marriage ended and she tried to add me on Facebook and bond over stories of what a shit exDH was.

I blocked. I hope she’s a better person now.

So sorry you went through this but I don't get why a junior would be threatened for shagging their senior in a company? And how this might ruin their career? Seems HR etc would be more likely to discipline the senior employee.

Mariposista · 08/06/2023 21:59

BonnieGlasses · 08/06/2023 18:54

Well you sound delightful. A bit more dignity would have been better.

Totally agree with this. Sinking to his level. Keep classy ladies.

Sunshine0x · 08/06/2023 21:59

Cimone · 08/06/2023 21:47

This was a very unintelligent, blame shifting and undignified response. Just plain ignorant to be blunt. The person you should have been going off on and screaming at is your partner, not someone else. HIS commitment which he seems to have forgotten about, is to you, right?. HE is the one who cheated on you, HE is the one that hurt you, HE is the one that stabbed you in the back, HE is the one who didn't care about you or your relationship as long as he got what he wanted.

I think you know that but are just too afraid to confront him realistically, so you flip the hell out at the woman because that is safe. You know if you confront HIM, you'll be forced to do something about it like leave. And since you don't want to leave your cheating, lying, backstabbing man, you instead vent your anger at other persons.

Watch:

It's justified as it's her friend double betrayal imo. I'd be livid with the pair of them. I agree if its random OW don't take it solely out on her you have no idea the shit he's been telling her.

mayorofcasterbridge · 08/06/2023 22:00

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whynotwhatknot · 08/06/2023 22:00

good for you op-cant belive your friend could do that to you its bad enough when you dont know them

Sunshine0x · 08/06/2023 22:00

Pearfacebananamoomoo · 08/06/2023 21:57

Not me but I know of a couple of corkers...

1 - a woman walked into the office where her cheating husband and the person he was cheating with worked, dumped her 9 month old child in car seat on the OW's desk and said "here you go you want my life take it all"

2 - a woman who discovered her husband was having an affair with someone who worked in Starbucks write on Facebook for everyone to go into said Starbucks and give their name as her name so she had to keep saying the wife's name all day!

Why anyone would dump their precious 9 month old baby on the ows desk that sounds unhinged .

ArcticSkewer · 08/06/2023 22:01

MorrisZapp · 08/06/2023 21:58

So sorry you went through this but I don't get why a junior would be threatened for shagging their senior in a company? And how this might ruin their career? Seems HR etc would be more likely to discipline the senior employee.

Show quote history

Welcome to sexism.

Another woman might be disgusted with her partner for abusing his position of power over a junior

Original poster
BabaJel · 08/06/2023 22:01

Whoa whoa whoah!….there’s a lot of supposition in your message. I DID deal with HIM and know what a conniving, pathetic, underhanded, duplicitous liar he is. And he is no longer in my life so really don't understand why you’re telling me to kick him out.
You’ve made so many assumptions and got the wrong end of the stick.
I’m sorry you spent all that time and effort typing up your post.

OP posts:
Lifeomars · 08/06/2023 22:03

BreviloquentBastard · 08/06/2023 20:06

Not me but a friend. Pretended she forgave him, said she wanted to drink and have fun like they used to. Got him absolutely bladdered while fake drinking herself, and then drove his semi-conscious ass over to the OW's house. Dumped him (vomiting all over himself) and all his stuff on her doorstep. Rang the bell, said "he's all yours" and left. Never spoke to either of them again.

Always been proud of her for that final fuck you to the pair of them.

This is magnificent!

Original poster
BabaJel · 08/06/2023 22:04

Sorry that message was for Cimone
am not very good at this 😕

OP posts: