Mother-in-law turned up unannounced

HopeG · 2023-06-07T18:52:00+00:00

My MIL turned up unannounced this evening. Came round with gifts for my 5-year-old at about 5pm from her holiday (including sweets which she knows we don’t like giving him) and stayed until 7pm. She has never turned up without calling or texting before. My husband was out picking up our family takeaway and I had got into my pyjamas as we weren’t expecting visitors. To me it seems very rude just to turn up unannounced. What would you do about it? Best to ignore on this occasion and get husband to raise it with her if it happens again?

Fluffycloudsblusky · 07/06/2023 19:53

She’s family. It isn’t rude. Unless there is more to this.

Beelezebub · 07/06/2023 19:54

Honestly? On the information given, nothing at all is my answer to “what would you do?”. Might potentially have a grumble to my husband about being in my pyjamas but that’s all, but I wouldn’t do anything.

WhatsThatIHear · 07/06/2023 19:55

I’m glad my DH doesn’t act like it’s a huge sin if my DM ever pops in in her way back from somewhere!
Imagine him having to give his mother permission, or an appointment, to visit and bring gifts. Only on MN!

Ilovelurchers · 07/06/2023 19:55

Definitely go NC. What sort of person goes round to someone's house as late as 5pm? And takes SWEETS for A CHILD???

Madness.

Amsooverthis · 07/06/2023 19:55

Oh my goodness, she came with presents, she's the kids grandmother, surely there must be more to this? I can't believe that it is an issue unless she is a PITA in other family dynamics.

volcanoroll · 07/06/2023 19:55

You could say ah sorry not right now MIL we were right in the middle of an argument so it's well awkward right now.

iwantavuvezela · 07/06/2023 19:55

You really feel the need to speak to your MIL for visiting you for 2 hours ? And, as this is not something she is doing daily it really feels like an over- reaction

FatCatBum · 07/06/2023 19:56

I completely disagree with PP, it's massively intrusive to randomly turn up unannounced and expect someone's attention for two hours, regardless of whether they are family. I would not be impressed and if it happened again I'd want my DH to have a word

volcanoroll · 07/06/2023 19:56

Also I'm guessing she knocked or rang the doorbell? So announced her arrival that way. Or did she just walk in?

BodegaSushi · 07/06/2023 19:56

Police. Now.

YouveGotAFastCar · 07/06/2023 19:56

This will divide people… I don’t like anyone turning up uninvited, so I’d ask DH to have a word - only because when my MIL started doing this, I didn’t, then she started doing it more, it got crazy, and she said she was in the habit now and didn’t want to stop… but she also did weird shit like watching DH through the window because she needed to see him but not actually knocking on the door or letting us know she was there; which might have impacted on our opinion 😵‍💫

Anyway, I’ve got friends who wouldn’t consider it rude at all and friends who would find it akin to peeing in their cornflakes. It’s a personality thing, I think. If you don’t like it, mention it. She can either text and check before she comes, or make arrangements with you rather than doing random visits. You’ll find a way that suits you all.

CurlewKate · 07/06/2023 19:57

Oh don't be daft!

volcanoroll · 07/06/2023 19:57

FatCatBum · 07/06/2023 19:56

I completely disagree with PP, it's massively intrusive to randomly turn up unannounced and expect someone's attention for two hours, regardless of whether they are family. I would not be impressed and if it happened again I'd want my DH to have a word

It's not unannounced. She would have knocked?

I don't tend to announce I'm visiting someone I might give them a quick text to check they are in.

Throwawayme · 07/06/2023 19:57

If my partner got pissy about my mum coming round I'd be furious at him.

KirstenBlest · 07/06/2023 19:58

You answered the door to an unannounced visitor? Why?

volcanoroll · 07/06/2023 19:58

YouveGotAFastCar · 07/06/2023 19:56

This will divide people… I don’t like anyone turning up uninvited, so I’d ask DH to have a word - only because when my MIL started doing this, I didn’t, then she started doing it more, it got crazy, and she said she was in the habit now and didn’t want to stop… but she also did weird shit like watching DH through the window because she needed to see him but not actually knocking on the door or letting us know she was there; which might have impacted on our opinion 😵‍💫

Anyway, I’ve got friends who wouldn’t consider it rude at all and friends who would find it akin to peeing in their cornflakes. It’s a personality thing, I think. If you don’t like it, mention it. She can either text and check before she comes, or make arrangements with you rather than doing random visits. You’ll find a way that suits you all.

I mean that's just weird stalking

determinedtomakethiswork · 07/06/2023 19:58

BodegaSushi · 07/06/2023 19:56

Police. Now.

🤣🤣🤣

Screamingabdabz · 07/06/2023 19:58

Oh God the horror. A relative pops round. 🙄

BodegaSushi · 07/06/2023 19:58

This guy absolutely nails how times have changed with unannounced visitors 😂 vm.tiktok.com/ZGJQeyx5U/

Dacadactyl · 07/06/2023 19:59

Why is this a problem?

She's family. My DHs family ALWAYS turn up unannounced...his aunts, uncles, cousins, my in laws etc. Now and again I'd be like "shit, the house is a tip" but I'm wondering why it bothers you?

Safxxx · 07/06/2023 19:59

What if it was your own Mother turning up unonounced? Would you moan then? Jeez woman calm down, she came bearing gifts and to see you guys after her holiday, it's really not a big deal. I take it you don't like your MIL but for your husband's sake let this one go 🙏

dikwad · 07/06/2023 20:00

Never have I read anything as ridiculous as this.

happystory · 07/06/2023 20:00

She's been on holiday, she missed her dgc, she brought a gift.....blimey....

oldestmumaintheworld · 07/06/2023 20:01

Good God you're miserable. I'm glad you're not my daughter in law.

PollyThePixie · 07/06/2023 20:01

You’re bonkers.