Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My husband has stopped talking to us

214 replies

BonnieB38 · 05/06/2023 01:50

I'm at such a loss with how my husband is behaving. He has just stopped interacting with myself and our 3 DC. No row nothing. He says there is nothing wrong, I have asked him if he's happy etc. No answers. Last night he took the children to a firework display and my oldest said he never spoke a word to them going to or from the event or when they were there. The kids are 16, 9 and 10.
He went away for a break with his friends in March and on reflection he hasn't been his normal happy loving self since then. I have asked if something happened while there and he said no.

I am aware he made friends with girls while there. The first day he was in contact with us 2nd day we heard absolutely nothing from him. I did ask him if he exchanged contact details and yes he did. I went through his phone and I seen photos of him and his friends with them but nothing to cause any concerns only they were missing from his gallery and in a what's app to one of the girls on a what's app msg. What does rise a question is she seems to have him.blocked on what's app as there is only one tick on the message and it was sent weeks ago.

This silent treatment is incredibly upsetting for us. We haven't done anything wrong and he is not giving any ideas of what is wrong.

OP posts:
Original poster
BonnieB38 · 17/06/2023 18:26

She can have him if there is. My children are my priority now.

OP posts:
MsDogLady · 17/06/2023 19:23

Maintain that steel determination, Bonnie.

He acts like he despises all of you. Your children will have been deeply wounded by their father’s devaluation, disengagement, and refusal to interact, as well as by his shocking hate-filled tirade today.

He may try to manipulate you. Stay strong and don’t backtrack. Get him out pronto.

WTF475878237NC · 17/06/2023 20:03

Ellie450 · 17/06/2023 17:28

Yes, this. If finding out that you were working on the weekend made him lose his mind to the point that he was crying and yelling that he hates you then it sounds very much like he had plans with someone. The reaction just doesn’t make sense otherwise.

Not to mention that crying and yelling that he hates you sounds more like teenage girl behaviour than that of a grown man with a wife. Talk about the ick. 🤢

Show quote history

Yes it seems clear to me he's feeling trapped and this other woman offers him hope of happiness (much deserved in his mind) that you're stopping. The resentment is clear as day. Obviously planned to meet up tomorrow.

Mary46 · 17/06/2023 20:22

Terrible behaviour. So sorry for you. He def has to go its awful living like this.

TheseThree · 20/06/2023 18:30

BonnieB38 · 17/06/2023 17:25

I need to set an example to my children and show them this won't be tolerated. I won't be sticking around. How could I possibly stay with someone who in front of my precious children say what he said. It's not happening. I don't want him and I most definitely don't need him.

I know it’s been a few days now, and I hope you’ve maintained this attitude. Yes he f’ed up and no he can’t recover from that one. Good riddance.

tattygrl · 21/06/2023 14:05

BonnieB38 · 17/06/2023 17:25

I need to set an example to my children and show them this won't be tolerated. I won't be sticking around. How could I possibly stay with someone who in front of my precious children say what he said. It's not happening. I don't want him and I most definitely don't need him.

Bravo, OP, bravo! We are all behind you. Your future is so, so bright, and your children are safe with a mother who puts them first like this.

Grrrpredictivetex · 01/07/2023 00:06

How are things @BonnieB38 ?

Fab973 · 19/08/2023 00:44

What was it of?

MamFran · 19/08/2023 07:19

How are things now Bonnie?

Quarryn · 09/01/2024 23:48

Help! My family and I were due to move abroad at the end of this month everything was planned over a two year period, things have been packed and are ready for shipping, the move was for the health of my other young children from a previous relationship the children were all excited, the warmer climate is better for them and also my elderly mother is getting on in age and needs support, we had a new house to go to with lots of land for the kids to play and have animals, I spent thousands and recently my husband has changed his mind and says I’m not taking our youngest son and he will not consent to it. Do I have any rights?

Mirabai · 09/01/2024 23:52

Quarryn · 09/01/2024 23:48

Help! My family and I were due to move abroad at the end of this month everything was planned over a two year period, things have been packed and are ready for shipping, the move was for the health of my other young children from a previous relationship the children were all excited, the warmer climate is better for them and also my elderly mother is getting on in age and needs support, we had a new house to go to with lots of land for the kids to play and have animals, I spent thousands and recently my husband has changed his mind and says I’m not taking our youngest son and he will not consent to it. Do I have any rights?

You need to start your own thread, possibly in Legal. Good luck.

OssieShowman · 10/01/2024 12:45

He has checked out

Blubbled · 10/01/2024 15:56

What @Thepossibility said OP! There is no excuse for ignoring his children like that and I think you need to have a hard word with him!
He could have had his head turned on that holiday, or it could be something else, it's hard to know what is wrong with the big child seeing as he won't bloody speak to any of ye but he is bang out of order. Plenty of people suffer depression but they don't totally blank their spouses and especially not their kids because of it. It's emotional abuse OP and in your shoes I'd be telling him shape up or ship out!

Blubbled · 10/01/2024 16:55

I should have RTFT OP , sorry!
He is abusive to you and his won children OP and he needs to leave so your poor DD can have some peace for her exams. Meanwhile, get legal advice and as much support from close friends and family as you can!
I'm so sorry OP, and I'm actually raging on your behalf, but glad to read you aren't going to put up with his shite anymore! He's a despicable excuse for a man!
Let us know how you are and look after yourself and your children. Feck him!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page