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Original poster

I married my teacher and now it feels... weird

232 replies

LocoMoko · 28/05/2023 21:42

Almost 30 years ago I got together with my French teacher right at the end of sixth form. We've been married for decades. I'm ten years younger.
But, it feels weird especially as I work loosely in safeguarding.
Our marriage is OK. We have children.
Do I need to get over myself?!

OP posts:
PrimalOwl · 28/05/2023 21:43

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rolypoly836 · 28/05/2023 21:43

I think only you can answer this. Was there anything untoward that happened at the time??

DustyLee123 · 28/05/2023 21:46

I got with my DH when I was 17 and he was 10 years older. Never been a problem to me.

Original poster
LocoMoko · 28/05/2023 21:47

Not quite sure why this is "BS"?! So I will ignore that.
Untoward? Uhm I'm genuinely not sure what you mean?! We weren't sleeping together until I'd taken my exams, but there was a definite emotional attachment.

OP posts:
rolypoly836 · 28/05/2023 21:48

What do you mean weird, then?

FloofCloud · 28/05/2023 21:50

It's a strange one - we're you 18 or 15/16?
He was young too but the ages above are very different. I was 23 with 18 year old boyfriend and we were both at uni in the same year so it wasn't a thing but 16/15 and 25/6 is very different

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 28/05/2023 21:50

Do you still call him Monsieur?

openstop · 28/05/2023 21:52

Of course you don't need to get over yourself! Are you worried he groomed you?

NuffSaidSam · 28/05/2023 21:52

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 28/05/2023 21:50

Do you still call him Monsieur?

😂😂

darjeelingrose · 28/05/2023 21:52

Are you serious? What happened recently in your life to look back 30 years and find this weird if you didn't before. I get that you wouldn't as it was happening, but really, a thirty year gap? Come on.

Brianoflife · 28/05/2023 21:53

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Neodymium · 28/05/2023 21:53

I have a friend who got together with her husband when she was 14 and he was 17. She used to sneak out to see him. She said that her stepdad hated him for years and still didn’t really like him and she didn’t understand why he couldn’t get over it. I said that it was essentially statutory rape and if I was her parents at the time I would have had him arrested. She did not like that one with and we had quite a heated discussion about it. She still to this day doesn’t see anything wrong with their relationship at the time. Fortunately she was quite drunk at the time and I don’t think she remembers the conversation as it’s not been brought up again.

darjeelingrose · 28/05/2023 21:54

I think the first poster had it.

chipsandpeas · 28/05/2023 21:54

DustyLee123 · 28/05/2023 21:46

I got with my DH when I was 17 and he was 10 years older. Never been a problem to me.

unless your DH was also your teacher i dont get what this has to do with the OP

Buffypaws · 28/05/2023 21:54

Macron?

WimpoleHat · 28/05/2023 21:55

Do I need to get over myself?!

Kindly, I think so. The proof of the pudding must be in the eating, surely - a 30 year marriage must have been based on a lot more than a schoolgirl crush. By the sound of it, you were 18 and had left school (even if only just!)?

DustyLee123 · 28/05/2023 21:55

chipsandpeas · 28/05/2023 21:54

unless your DH was also your teacher i dont get what this has to do with the OP

Show quote history

Because it’s similar ages.

Glitterbiscuits · 28/05/2023 21:56

What grade did you get in French?

readbooksdrinktea · 28/05/2023 21:57

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Yeah. What has happened that you're suddenly weirded out? Something must have, otherwise it's strange.

Ginger1982 · 28/05/2023 21:57

Well, it's inappropriate for a teacher to enter into a sexual relationship with a pupil, even if that pupil has 'just' left school. Professional boundaries extend beyond the pupil leaving school. It's an abuse of trust and an imbalance of power. How would you feel if your child ended up in this kind of relationship?

But, 30 years on, I wouldn't let this take over your life. I wouldn't be telling people how I met my husband though.

3luckystars · 28/05/2023 21:57

Mad question but are your children now around the age you were when you got together?

DangerNoodles · 28/05/2023 21:57

How long has it felt weird OP? Are your children approaching the same age you were when you got together? Have you only recently started the safeguarding job?

hoophoophooray · 28/05/2023 21:57

Has one of your children just reached the age you were when you got together?

Sianthomasisnothererightnow · 28/05/2023 21:58

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SwedishDeathClearance · 28/05/2023 21:58

Ecouter et repeter
Monsieur Bertillon est un douanier
Monsieur LocoMoko est un pédophile