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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Shall I put up a Facebook post celebrating an anniversary with DP, just to annoy his ex wife?

188 replies

Oopsiedaisyy · 10/05/2023 11:56

Ok, it's a little petty, but she has made a number of comments over the last year (to me directly when we have met, and to him) that have rubbed me up the wrong way. The last was asking him why he is in a relationship at all with me, after all he left his relationship with her so surely he must just want to be single or having something just casual? Also made comments about us spending time with our kids together. He is doing well at establishing boundaries with her, no problems on that front.

And no, I wasn't the OW, and they have been separated for 4 years now.

So, any ideas of something not over the top, but something to just say how pleased I am to have found him - we do have a great relationship and lots of shared interests - things he's rediscovered since being with me.

OP posts:
Namechange666 · 10/05/2023 11:58

Don't even waste your time or breath.

Keep your dignity. Best way.

Never fuel the fire.

Eudaimonia5 · 10/05/2023 11:59

Oh grow up, don't be ridiculous

PurposefulBear · 10/05/2023 11:59

Smug much?

QuintanaRoo · 10/05/2023 11:59

Why is she even FB friends with you/or him? Keep her off your FBs.

CheeseTouch · 10/05/2023 12:00

Why bother? Just move on.

Assignedtoworryyourmother · 10/05/2023 12:00

So you want to post about the man purely to piss off his ex. If I were him I'd be a bit pissed off that you were using the relationship to try and get one over on her. If you want the moral high ground, say nothing.

Wolfiefan · 10/05/2023 12:00

Spiteful and petty.

SoupDragon · 10/05/2023 12:00

Would you normally put up a Facebook Post? If yes, then do what you normally would. If you're only doing it to piss of the ex, then no.

Somebodiesmother · 10/05/2023 12:01

Why can she see your Facebook posts?

Original poster
Oopsiedaisyy · 10/05/2023 12:01

Oh I know I should, and I have been the better person all the way along so far - just smiled and been very very polite.

They are friends on Facebook, and she sees me on all the posts he tags me on.

OP posts:
ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 10/05/2023 12:01

Grow up.

Why can she even see your Facebook posts?

AmbleInAnnBoleyn · 10/05/2023 12:02

Why do you let her live rent free in your head? Move on. Block her, there's a chance she will find your pettiness and posturing amusing not irritating...

PaintedEgg · 10/05/2023 12:02

You are absolutely within your right to post about your anniversary

Her being annoyed by it is just a cherry on top

ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 10/05/2023 12:03

It sounds like you need to prove you're better than her.

JimiChoux · 10/05/2023 12:03

Another one saying no way. For every action there is a reaction. Don't waste your head space on this.

Original poster
Oopsiedaisyy · 10/05/2023 12:03

I think if she didn't exist, I would probably put up a post anyway, something funny.

OP posts:
PurposefulBear · 10/05/2023 12:04

ComeTheFuckOnBridgett · 10/05/2023 12:03

It sounds like you need to prove you're better than her.

This, you’ll be fooling nobody

waterlego · 10/05/2023 12:04

No. This is cringey behaviour. If she realises it’s been put up as a dog at her, she’ll probably just laugh at you. I would, in her shoes. Why are you giving headspace to someone you don’t like?

wildfirewonder · 10/05/2023 12:04

That would be very immature.

If you were really happy, you would not be wasting your time with this nonsense!

waterlego · 10/05/2023 12:04

A DIG! Not a dog.

PurposefulBear · 10/05/2023 12:05

Please don’t forget that many of his friends will also be her friends, if you don’t want to be judged do nothing.

piper678 · 10/05/2023 12:05

Post it if you want to! It's her choice to view your posts/get upset by them

Clymene · 10/05/2023 12:05

It would look childish and insecure.

BreviloquentBastard · 10/05/2023 12:05

Why do you care what she thinks? By giving her headspace you're doing exactly what she wants - allowing her to third wheel your relationship.

Doing this would make you look very insecure. If you need to resort to childish territory marking like this, maybe your relationship isn't as good as you think it is?

shysquirrel · 10/05/2023 12:05

Grow up. You sound about 12.