Shall I put up a Facebook post celebrating an anniversary with DP, just to annoy his ex wife?

[Oopsiedaisyy]

Ok, it's a little petty, but she has made a number of comments over the last year (to me directly when we have met, and to him) that have rubbed me up the wrong way. The last was asking him why he is in a relationship at all with me, after all he left his relationship with her so surely he must just want to be single or having something just casual? Also made comments about us spending time with our kids together. He is doing well at establishing boundaries with her, no problems on that front.

And no, I wasn't the OW, and they have been separated for 4 years now.

So, any ideas of something not over the top, but something to just say how pleased I am to have found him - we do have a great relationship and lots of shared interests - things he's rediscovered since being with me.

very cynical of you...btw, I always suspect that people with this type of thinking also make up theories like this about those who are generally affectionate (ie they hold hands and kiss in public). Does this apply to you?

It’s so obvious and cringey when people do this.

No, of course you shouldn’t. Have some dignity?

Nope not at all unless you mean kissing in company in which case absolutely.

And by kissing I mean slobbering kissing. That's the biggest red flag and I've actually never ever known a successful couple who do this. I know a one who has lasted but they are both playing away.

I wouldn’t bother . It may backfire a few years in when you start to see him repeating his faults from his first marriage .

Why would you want to spend your anniversary thinking about this? I feel petty sometimes too but I think this is the sort of thing that really makes a difference in life. The people who can leave things behind and celebrate the positive instead of dwelling on the negative are the ones who find the most happiness.

I agree with that, I've asked out of curiosity as I know someone who thinks it's "putting on a show" if a couple sits together with one person wrapping their arm around another

She has similar attitudes about social media posting and is, in general, the most miserable person I know. Almost allergic to any indication of someone having a good time / enjoying something / loving someone.

When I saw posts like the kind you're suggesting, I assumed the poster in question had a really shit relationship lol. I don't miss that cesspool.

And this is one of many reasons I’m not on FB. A couple celebrating their golden jubilee - fair play and worthy of a mention. A 1 year anniversary with the undertone of rubbing an exes nose in it is ridiculous and rather unpleasant.

Same tbh

Both imo

I would say announcing to the world that you are in a relationship is pretty childish but children don’t use Facebook

I still have an active Facebook account but I genuinely think the last time I logged into it was during lockdown.

She's probably glad to be rid of him, like most women regarding their ex partners, and your stuck with him now, that's what l would be thinking.

I tend to just post a picture collage of photos of DH and i together and write ‘happy anniversary my love’ or similar. No over the top gushing!

ignore the MN collective ‘don’t ever post anything on Facebook about your life but it’s totally fine to scoff at people anonymously’ opinion.

Go for it OP - and while you're at it, offer to fight her in the playpark too.

Except OP has posted on an anonymous forum for comments.

Lol the drama. Just live your life no one wants to see cringey posts of anniversaries on Facebook (and no I’m not single). But I feel the same when people wish me happy birthday on social media when I will see them that exact day or we are in touch often via text etc. Why does the rest of the world need to be involved 😂

Glad you decided not to @Oopsiedaisyy it'd have been embarrassing.
It just advertises insecurity.

You could write me off as merely an ex, but my x's then girlfriend knew I'd left him and she would have been pushing water uphill trying to make me jealous.

Even when there's no x in the picture, i do cringe a bit seeing people celebrate relationships with such ordinary men. I'm a b1tch, shoot me.

People who are in secure relationships tend to not do this - I'm not saying in every instance it's insecurity, self reassurance or a message to others (based on the two former), but in most it is.

I have never posted about my relationship on Facebook, I'm not even "in a relationship" on Facebook and we've been together for over a decade. I know if I did post a message to him on a birthday or anniversary, I would be doing it under duress.

Why do you care that she sees the message? Ignore her.

Brutal 🤣🤣🤣🤣

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Wouldn't be a fair fight 😂

Stinks of insecurity 🫣

I think it's nice when friends post about milestones on their relationship.
But if one of my mates posted specifically to piss of an ex
A) I'd be able to recognise the motivation a mile off
B) I'd think it inflammatory
C) I'd roll my eyes
D) I'd wonder/worry if the kids involved were affected by the pettiness in any way
E) I'd think less of my friend

Their marriage ended, as she sees it, due to lack of sexual intimacy on her part.

She said to him that if the reason he left was lack of sex, why did he need to get into a long term relationship with me, surely he could just shag about (I'm paraphrasing)