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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Shall I put up a Facebook post celebrating an anniversary with DP, just to annoy his ex wife?

188 replies

Oopsiedaisyy · 10/05/2023 11:56

Ok, it's a little petty, but she has made a number of comments over the last year (to me directly when we have met, and to him) that have rubbed me up the wrong way. The last was asking him why he is in a relationship at all with me, after all he left his relationship with her so surely he must just want to be single or having something just casual? Also made comments about us spending time with our kids together. He is doing well at establishing boundaries with her, no problems on that front.

And no, I wasn't the OW, and they have been separated for 4 years now.

So, any ideas of something not over the top, but something to just say how pleased I am to have found him - we do have a great relationship and lots of shared interests - things he's rediscovered since being with me.

OP posts:
heartbroken40 · 10/05/2023 12:06

You sound so insecure - sorry but just live your life. I wouldn't be friends with my ex's new partner anyway. Sorry but you would appear totally ridiculous. Don't do it please

QuintanaRoo · 10/05/2023 12:06

I never see the point of anniversary posts. You can tell your OH face to face and nobody else gives a shit.

Oopsiedaisyy · 10/05/2023 12:08

question though - is referencing or celebrating a new relationship rubbing an exes nose in it?

OP posts:
MissyB1 · 10/05/2023 12:08

Don’t embarrass yourself.

peachescariad · 10/05/2023 12:08

'but something to just say how pleased I am to have found him'

Why doesn't he post that about you? Surely that would piss her off more.

Maddy70 · 10/05/2023 12:08

Jesus you sound so bitter and jealous. He's with you not her move on.

shysquirrel · 10/05/2023 12:09

She is Facebook friends with your DP but slags you off. You're so insecure you want to post things to annoy her. Honestly, why are you bothering with any of this? Your relationship sounds shit

BreviloquentBastard · 10/05/2023 12:10

Oopsiedaisyy · 10/05/2023 12:08

question though - is referencing or celebrating a new relationship rubbing an exes nose in it?

Well yes, because that's why you've said you're doing it.

I don't really see why you'd need to post about it on social media at all. I promise you absolutely no one else gives a shit about your relationship or how great it is. Tell the person who matters, your partner. No one else needs to know.

heartbroken40 · 10/05/2023 12:10

@Oopsiedaisyy people secure in their relationships, with a full life, a career, children and all that celebrate in private. Sharing your life on Facebook means there's something missing. The people with full lives I know NEVER post (often are not even on social media). So celebrating in private yes and I do it and we do marvellous things (trips, adventures, opera and all that) but I don't even remember if i have a Facebook account and definitely don't post

readbooksdrinktea · 10/05/2023 12:10

You could. If you want to come over like a petty teenager.

knittingaddict · 10/05/2023 12:11

My personal experience is that the ones who shout the loudest on FB (anniversary posts and public declarations of love and how perfect their partner is) have the worst relationships irl. One of the many, many reasons that I deleted FB years ago.

Oopsiedaisyy · 10/05/2023 12:11

Well, this is pretty unanimous then!

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wildfirewonder · 10/05/2023 12:11

Oopsiedaisyy · 10/05/2023 12:08

question though - is referencing or celebrating a new relationship rubbing an exes nose in it?

Confused

Thread title: Shall I put up a Facebook post celebrating an anniversary with DP, just to annoy his ex wife?

CovertImage · 10/05/2023 12:12

PaintedEgg · 10/05/2023 12:02

You are absolutely within your right to post about your anniversary

Her being annoyed by it is just a cherry on top

Only for a certain type of sad sack person

readbooksdrinktea · 10/05/2023 12:12

QuintanaRoo · 10/05/2023 12:06

I never see the point of anniversary posts. You can tell your OH face to face and nobody else gives a shit.

Also this. People don't care.

BungleandGeorge · 10/05/2023 12:13

Lots of people put a post on partners fb to wish them happy anniversary- is that what you mean? If you want to do that go ahead.
when you say spending time with ‘our’ children do you mean your children shared children or step children?

LiliLil · 10/05/2023 12:13

Only if you want to look insecure and childish.

Why don’t you just piss on him to mark your territory instead?

Showersugar · 10/05/2023 12:13

What would Dame Judi Dench do? If in doubt, do that

TheNameIsDickDarlington · 10/05/2023 12:13

Would your DP appreciate the post? If he gets any grief from his ex about it will it bother him?

If you're doing it just to rub his exs nose in your relationship then don't do it. It's childish and just makes you look silly.

If you think your DP will be happy that you've posted it and will feel loved and valued and the only reason you aren't posting is because of the ex then just post it.

Oopsiedaisyy · 10/05/2023 12:14

heartbroken40 · 10/05/2023 12:10

@Oopsiedaisyy people secure in their relationships, with a full life, a career, children and all that celebrate in private. Sharing your life on Facebook means there's something missing. The people with full lives I know NEVER post (often are not even on social media). So celebrating in private yes and I do it and we do marvellous things (trips, adventures, opera and all that) but I don't even remember if i have a Facebook account and definitely don't post

Interesting, it's actually quite common among my friendship group for people to share posts like this on their anniversaries, so not out of step with my other friends. I don't tend to - only share events we are going to or holidays.

OP posts:
PurposefulBear · 10/05/2023 12:14

LiliLil · 10/05/2023 12:13

Only if you want to look insecure and childish.

Why don’t you just piss on him to mark your territory instead?

😂

burnoutbabe · 10/05/2023 12:14

me and my partner post every year on our anniversary of meeting - usually as we go out to celebrate with drinks and mention it in that.
i generally like seeing anniversary date night posts. i like them just as much as any post about a new baby/dog/ a level results/ new job - its just nice to see some happy news from friends/old work colleagues.

Oopsiedaisyy · 10/05/2023 12:15

BungleandGeorge · 10/05/2023 12:13

Lots of people put a post on partners fb to wish them happy anniversary- is that what you mean? If you want to do that go ahead.
when you say spending time with ‘our’ children do you mean your children shared children or step children?

us spending time together on our weekends when we both have our kids from our previous relationships.

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Blabla81 · 10/05/2023 12:15

Slightly off topic, but I never really get anniversaries, unless you’re married. What counts as the date? Weird.

Oopsiedaisyy · 10/05/2023 12:16

PurposefulBear · 10/05/2023 12:14

😂

I was going to do that as well 😂

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