I've been dating for about 1 year after my previous 20 years relationship broke down. That previous relationship was toxic and I was constantly walking on eggshells not to trigger his emotional abuse.
Now this new man is different in many ways, we are very much in love, he is super caring, attentive, we have similar interests, is patient... he is generally calm but he is extremely sensitive, gets easily anxious and worried. We can both see how this links with lack of self confidence and other fears, and he has done a lot of a self awareness and improvement work, so he acknowledges whats going on, but it still means he is almost always tired, overwhelmed, anxious over everyday things... like work or possible promotion or time with his kids, or having to buy something or before a trip. I worry that this can become a different type of toxic dynamic, even if not what he intends. If I have to walk on eggshells now not to say what I'm thinking and upset him, as it'll make him more anxious and distant, is this relationship right for me? All I want is to feel free and spontaneous. And have someone I can have a conversation without overthinking... I'm being careful to say things, trying to be empathetic and I know he doesn't have to think like me, I'm much more objective and bulldoze over my feelings as been on surviving mode for so long, so I'm not saying I have work to do too. But I worry he'll stop saying what he feels as wont want to listen to what I have to say or worry it'll annoy me, and I'll stop resonding for fear of hurting him and holding back, which will make us distant. He is shy and can go quiet and in his head, whereas I want to talk things through...
I just dont want another emotionally draining relationship, but I can also see us being able to be very happy together as we do sync in many other areas and even if we feel differently, we often agree on things. It's just he cant help being emotionally triggered.