Need a hand hold tonight.

[FromLittleAcornsGrow]

Just that really. My partner of 8 years has just broken up with me. He doesn’t want to see me anymore. I know deep in my heart it’s for the best but tonight I’m sad. For the lost 8 years, for the loss of him and the good times.
For thinking at 58 this is it for me. I will
Most likely be on my own now forever with no one to hold me or love me or be there just for me.
I can’t imagine starting all over again with someone new.
I thought we’d grow old together and share our retirement.
it wasn’t meant to be for us. I couldn’t give him what he needed and he couldn’t provide what I needed but I will so miss his friendship and the good times.
Tell me it gets better. That I won’t always feel this lost and lonely.

I'm sorry.

All I can say is you have every chance of finding love again but for now just give yourself time to grieve.

Oh, I’m so sorry! Big hug. It always gets better.

People find love at all ages. You know that. My grandmother had a new boyfriend in her 70’s after my granddad died.

If love is what you want, of course. You might find that after a while on your own, you quite like it.

Best thing I did after my exH left me was to give myself 18 months on my own. I just concentrated on my children and my hobbies. I was happy with the thought of being on my own forever when my now boyfriend appeared.

Indulge yourself in time spent on calm things for now.

I'm so sorry to hear. But don't think because of your age you'll always be alone. After my pop passed my nan had so many man after her! Even when she was over 90 she still had one seriously chasing her until he sadly passed. She is happy alone but enjoyed flirting with all the men - she's 96 and still flirting away with all the men...and women lol.

I love this!!

You will be all right please believe it x

Thanks for the replies. They helped a bit last night. I’ve just woken up this morning feeling a bit numb. I know it’s for the best for both of us but it’s hard and I will miss him. I genuinely want him to be happy too and I know he wasn’t so I know it was the right thing to do.
I just can’t imagine being on my own forever. I hate going alone to places , I can and do do that but I hate every minute of it. unknownone I love that your grandma could still cut it at 90! I just wouldn’t even know where/how to begin again now. It was hard enough last time!

I’m so sorry OP, but this may be a blessing in disguise. At least you’re not wasting any more time on someone who obviously doesn’t deserve it.

My nan found love in her 60s. You never know, your now ex boyfriend may have just made space for your future husband 💐💜

You'll get back on the horse when the bruises have healed. In the meantime focus on healing and looking ahead to new beginnings. Work on your self confidence. He's probably done you a favour. 💐

My husband has left me too, today so I know how you're feeling right this moment.

Too scared to go to sleep as I don't want to wake up in the morning to I don't know what kind of feelings.

abandoned1
my heart goes out to you. I’ve been here twice now.
XH left me after 24 years of what I thought was a happy marriage. Thought I’d never be happy again, until I met XDP , now 8 years on he’s left me too. I know I can survive as I’ve done it before but I’d forgotten the crushing loneliness a break up like this brings.
Even surrounded by my family I feel so lonely.
I miss all the little things. Hugs to you.

It wasn’t meant to be. At 58 you’ll find love again x

Thinking of you OP. I'm in a similar situation and lonely and heartbroken. Sending solidarity.

Bone11
solidarity back at you!
it’s been a tough day for me. Going from daily contact to nothing is so hard. I keep seeing little things I’d normally text him or go to tell him something and then realise i mustn’t.
im trying to stay nc. But it’s so blooming hard.
I miss him so much.

How are you doing today?

Hi Bone
To be honest I am feeling pretty awful today!
I miss him so much, I am fighting the urge to message him! I know he won’t reply and that will hurt even more!
He has gone completely non contact , deleted me from SM which I know is sensible but boy did that hurt!
I’ve sat down this afternoon and written him a long letter. I probably won’t even send it but it did help to put my thoughts on paper. There was so much left unsaid when we left each other.
I’m struggling to eat , I think because the empty feeling in my tummy hides the empty feeling and ache in my heart.
How about you?

I'm sorry you've had such a tough day. Heartbreak is such a physical thing as well as emotional isn't it. Writing a letter is a good idea, I write notes on my phone, the good the bad, the ugly. Any time I want to message I've been doing that instead. My bravado and my despair. I'm so up and down. Forcing myself to drink water and eat occasionally, I'm so dehydrated so I've got a constant headache. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Yes that must have been awful to see he's cleaned up his SM, it seems very final. I'm sure he's hurting too. Hope you can look after yourself, little steps but we'll both get there. Hope you can get some sleep tonight x

This I know to be true.
Look after yourself.
Keep busy.
Soon enough he will be history.

It gets better, I know right now your hurting but believe me please.. in 3/6 months from now you'll be a new person. Everything happens for a reason. Much love xx

Yes you’re so right about heartbreak being so physical. When my XH left for the OW I cried for weeks and genuinely thought I was going to die of a broken heart. So I do know I will get better, it’s just I never thought I’d have to go through it again. It took me so long to trust anyone again.
Whilst there’s no OW this time and I know in my heart it’s for the best for both of us. Our aspirations in the end were just too different I will miss so much being in a couple and not feeling like I’m on my own.

The loss of companionship is so hard isn't it. When you are so close you have so many things that are yours as a couple, so many references and jokes and interests. Losing all of that leaves such a hole. Your situation sounds hard because you love each other but want different things, if your XH had an OW the anger must have helped you through it and made it easier to fall out of love. Very very tough to break up with someone you still love. I'm so sorry cot you, you sound so nice. I hope you are keeping busy today. Remember to eat and drink and rest too.

Bone your reply actually brought tears to my eyes. I genuinely think I am a nice person! That’s half of my problem I think. I’m a people pleaser. I try to be there for everyone and my now XDP was much more selfish in his thought processes about family. Ultimately the two ways are not compatible. To be happy, we both needed to go out separate ways. The days just seem so long atm and the nights longer. It helps a little that we didn’t live together so I’m not having to get used to that but it’s the not texting or speaking that I find hard. I fight with all my will power to not contact him. It’s so exhausting!
How are things for you today?

Stratocumulus
your words are comforting but I find it hard to imagine any man would want me at 58! I’m not interesting or funny or a party animal. I’m just ‘mumsy’ I suppose! Trying to juggle elderly parents, young adults and a full time job.
I just want a quiet life with a companion who loves me for me.
It has certainly felt in the past that most men my age want a trophy partner who’s younger than them and the life and soul of the party.
On the other hand I find it hard to imagine myself with an older man! (And I hate beards!! They’ve all got them now it seems! 😂)

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I too am also going thru the same. And like u have also grieved a broken marriage. But this new heartache feels worse, because I had just allowed myself to be happy and beleive I could be in a couple again. Got used to the love again and that physical comfort from someone. And the idea of not having that again hurts so much. Obviously the pain of loosing that person too, but right now I’m scared of not having a person of my own. Not feeling lonely. And now I will have to build myself back up again. The thought of it is exhausting. I’m also really hung over which is adding to that feeling of despair and fear and wanting get off the ride :-(

Grenola
so sorry you’re going through the same thing. It really hurts the second time in a completely different way doesn’t it?
that coupled with feeling like a failure, why do my relationships fail? Feel like such a plum!
I don’t want to be one of those desperate women who need a man. I know I can survive without one but it also scares me I will be forever on my own now!

Yeah I totally relate to that. I feel like a failure and embarassed to be that person who can’t have a relationship. I am fiercely independent and established as a person so it’s not like I’m clinging to someone desperately. But I’m just so sad about it all now. Not just the loss of this person but what it all stands for. I’m sick of doing things alone, I want to lean on someone and be vulnerable with them.
will it get easier? I’m scared for what the future holds and yes being that ‘woman’ on thier own :-(