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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is he embarrassed by me?

461 replies

Anonymous881 · 29/04/2023 01:09

So.... Not sure what to think so after opinions please... I went out with my sister in law for drinks, my husband was out with his work colleagues, we saw them and wend over to say hi, I introduced myself to them,, he was so cross and didn't speak to me and told me to F off as I was embarrassing him... We've been married for 8 years and together for 10. I'm not sure how to even take this reaction, never experienced it with him before. Some of his colleagues didn't even know about me, am I being 'over sensitive' or should I be seeing some red flags...

OP posts:
Deathmetal · 29/04/2023 01:11

That’s horrible of him

MakesMeFeelSad · 29/04/2023 01:12

Red flag , some of them didn't even know about you ? Bloody hell

LadyB49 · 29/04/2023 01:14

Has he ever done anything like this before. Have you ever met any of his colleagues before?
It was a cruel thing to do, my husband would have introduced me.

Truestorypeeps · 29/04/2023 01:15

Doesn't sound very nice of him to be honest! Other than all the negative things in my head about what you've said, all I can think of is that he likes to keep his work and home lives completely separate and have privacy and doesn't want the two to mix (?)

Original poster
Anonymous881 · 29/04/2023 01:15

Yep, they were like are you sure...
I feel so hurt, I'm so proud of him, show him off at every opportunity.

OP posts:
feefifofums · 29/04/2023 01:16

I'd leave tbh
what a dickhead

GarlicGrace · 29/04/2023 01:16

Wow, that's bad OP! He told you to fuck off? His colleagues don't know he's married? Shock

I'm sorry.

It might be time to start planning to give him what he wants. To be single.

Original poster
Anonymous881 · 29/04/2023 01:18

Perhaps, I did think this, but it is so unlike him... Hence me asking for other opinions as I can't understand it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Anonymous881 · 29/04/2023 01:19

Never met them before, they thought we were 'hitting on them'

OP posts:
feefifofums · 29/04/2023 01:20

the whole separating life and work argument here in this context is nonsense.
It's one thing not to mix both up, but it's a huge dick move to be embarrassed and CROSSED about you telling his colleagues you're his wife. It's completely different. Don't make excuses for him.

2chocolateoranges · 29/04/2023 01:20

I’d be livid! He is being so disrespectful.

why would you not say hello to your husband, he is being a dick!

JauntyRedShoes · 29/04/2023 01:21

I like to keep work and home separate within reason but his reaction to seeing you is just horrible, nasty and disrespectful. You are not being over sensitive at all, I would have a discussion with him about how he behaved, the implications of his behaviour and what it means for the marriage and ask what his bloody problem is. Probably have the discussion when the heat is out of the situation and don’t let him railroad you into being or feeling at fault. I would expect him to say hi, quick introductions and then off you both go to carry on your night.

cactiminds · 29/04/2023 01:22

Are any of these colleagues female? If so I think he fancies her. Sorry OP, he seems like a prick.

Cece92 · 29/04/2023 01:24

Well he'd be locked out and on the sofa! What a knobhead!! How dare he speak to you like that.

Original poster
Anonymous881 · 29/04/2023 01:26

Thank you for your responses, I kind of feel like I'm not going mad. Maybe he does want the single life. I've never felt so small in all my life.

OP posts:
Unicorndreams24 · 29/04/2023 01:29

That's so horrible and you must have felt so embarrassed too 😔❤️..
Has he said anything since you've got home or you both still out?

ttc2603 · 29/04/2023 01:31

There's 2 reasons here and one could be he likes to keep work and home life separate.

Second could be he says things or does things at work that wouldn't be appropriate if he had a gf/wife so don't mention to anyone that he is married.
He might just wanna be single?
Either way I don't know the reason and neither will you unless you ask him.

I think he's an absolute dick for his behaviour but have a talk to him and see why he reacted the way he did as it's not acceptable!

Hope you're okay though I bet that was horrible for you :( xx

Original poster
Anonymous881 · 29/04/2023 01:32

So I'm home now, our 6 year old was being looked after by a family member, he's still out, I've not heard from him at all since I left and I've no idea where he is. I haven't messaged as I don't want to seem 'naggy'

OP posts:
feefifofums · 29/04/2023 01:35

Anonymous881 · 29/04/2023 01:32

So I'm home now, our 6 year old was being looked after by a family member, he's still out, I've not heard from him at all since I left and I've no idea where he is. I haven't messaged as I don't want to seem 'naggy'

don't let this slide please

Olive19741205 · 29/04/2023 01:37

The fact that you don't even know how shockingly bad the way he spoke to you is, tells us that you're in an extremely unhealthy relationship. If my DH spoke to me like that, there's no way I would get past it, I'd be out of the relationship, unless he unreservedly apologised and promised nothing like that would ever happen again. How dare he treat you like that.

I bet there's other behaviours that are not very pleasant with him. Why is he not telling his colleagues he's married? That's very strange.

Lullabies2Paralyze · 29/04/2023 01:38

They were probably on cocaine

redheadcurl · 29/04/2023 01:49

Omg that is shocking. It's you who should be embarrassed about him. Does he go out often with these work colleagues?

fourlambbhunas · 29/04/2023 01:49

I would be paranoid that the reason they are all shocked that he has a girlfriend and the reason he's so angry about you introducing yourself is because he has some kind of relationship going on with a colleague...

Fran490 · 29/04/2023 01:55

What awful behaviour!! I'm sorry.

Does he wear a wedding ring at work? Surely his colleagues would know he's married?

Mammalys · 29/04/2023 01:56

I'm not usually the type to jump to the cheating conclusion... but the ONLY explanation that makes sense to me is that his colleagues don't know about you so that he can play the field at work with female colleagues. It honestly is the only thing that makes sense. Especially if he currently HAS a relationship with someone at work that they all know about already....