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Original poster

If you're not wanting any or any more children as a couple, has your man's had the snip?

193 replies

Haleluljaa · 29/04/2023 00:31

Interested as it seems that the onus of prevention still seems to be on women, even in this day and age, and with all of the options available to men.

I've just had THE lightbulb moment that it's all been on me, when it would actually have been so much easier if my male partner had taken some responsibility

OP posts:
ThankmelaterOkay · 29/04/2023 07:05

Yes. Age 34. No children.

CaffeineFirstPlease · 29/04/2023 07:05

My DP offered to but I chose to get my tubes removed directly after my C-section with my 3rd

Xiaoxiong · 29/04/2023 07:08

DH did go to the GP when we were 30 and done with kids but they wouldn't give him one as he was "too young". (In fairness they said they wouldn't tie my tubes either with the same reasoning.) So a Mirena it was, until we grow up enough Confused

MathsNervous · 29/04/2023 07:08

Yes. Six months after last child.

PurpleParrotfish · 29/04/2023 07:15

No, it’s not something that we’ve thought about as I’m happy taking the mini pill. No side effects that I’ve noticed and I don’t get periods.

frozendaisy · 29/04/2023 07:16

Yes after second, skipped to doctors (almost), because he said "your body has been through enough for our reproduction and he didn't want anymore children with me or anyone else" which in your mind 30s is oddly reassuring.

45 mins in-out, a tiny (you had to get close to see) scratch, up to 2 weeks slight ache discomfort in slightly tighter underwear. It's done by laser now, awake throughout.

applecatchers36 · 29/04/2023 07:18

Yes after our third was born.

TinyRebel · 29/04/2023 07:19

SkyandSurf · 29/04/2023 01:50

Currently pregnant with a much wanted last child and DH has every intention of getting the snip.

He even suggested that when they roll me out after my planned C-section, they roll him straight in after!

I have no time or respect for these men who watch the women they supposedly love put their bodies through contraception, pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding - and then they are too precious to have a tiny day surgery on themselves.

The burden is already far too heavily placed on women's bodies.

It's the absolute least they can do.

I got my tubes tied during my third c section. Had to discuss it with the consultant (and remind them) at every appointment beforehand but best decision I ever made.
DH would have been wary of surgery though, as has a mate who was left with permanent post vasectomy pain.

ItsCalledAConversation · 29/04/2023 07:21

Yes soon after we had our family. I didn’t want to use hormonal contraception and he didn’t want to use condoms.

TheNachtzehrer · 29/04/2023 07:21

Yes, he has. He suggested it immediately after our second, but delayed it a year because I wasn't ready to okay it. Been done for several years now and, although I kept my IUD in for a while after he got the all-clear, it's out now and never thinking about contraception is great.

bakewellbride · 29/04/2023 07:22

We are done having babies and dh is on the waiting list for the snip.

ThankmelaterOkay · 29/04/2023 07:24

Xiaoxiong · 29/04/2023 07:08

DH did go to the GP when we were 30 and done with kids but they wouldn't give him one as he was "too young". (In fairness they said they wouldn't tie my tubes either with the same reasoning.) So a Mirena it was, until we grow up enough Confused

Push harder. It’s not up to some GP to decide.

MinnieMountain · 29/04/2023 07:25

We agreed that once I’d had enough of being responsible, he’d do it. By that point I was on medication that causes birth defects, so the GP asked him he was sure he wasn’t going to leave me for someone who can still have children.

waterlego · 29/04/2023 07:26

Yes, my OH got it done after our 2nd DC as we knew we were done and neither of us like using condoms. He was about 34 at the time. He didn’t feel the need to preserve his fertility as he said he wouldn’t want more children even if we split up/I died and he started a new relationship. In most couples we know of our age, the man has had a vasectomy. It sometimes surprises me when I hear women my age (and most likely perimenopausal) talking about contraception. It’s 15 years since I’ve had to think about it so I forget that some middle aged people are still having to sort out contraception!

Dollmeup · 29/04/2023 07:27

No, he is scared of hospitals and nearly passed out after having blood taken a couple of years ago. I feel like that's a bit pathetic but there's no way he will change his mind.

I don't want to take hormonal contraceptives any more and neither of us is really a fan of condoms so I have a copper coil which suits me well enough. I'd have my tubes tied as we definitely don't want more, but the recovery time puts me off.

ArrrMeHearties · 29/04/2023 07:29

Snip was booked to be done but we lost our baby at 24wks so understandably got cancelled. All going well this time snip will be done in about 6wks once baby is here

ArrrMeHearties · 29/04/2023 07:30

Dp says its better he gets snipped unless I get a section as its a lot easier recovery wise for him

SockQueen · 29/04/2023 07:33

No. Not entirely logical, but I was very nearly assaulted by a man with post-vasectomy chronic pain in clinic when I was pregnant with DS1. I know the chances are small, but my DH is a massive wuss and I just could not deal with it if he was one of the unlucky ones who got chronic pain afterwards. Blush

Mumoftwoinprimary · 29/04/2023 07:33

No but I have natural 20 day cycles 😱 so would continue take the mini pill even if he had it done.

aboutbloodytime123 · 29/04/2023 07:37

Yes, 2 weeks after our unexpected but much loved DC3 was born he sent me an email called "no more surprises?"!

NameChangeMumma23 · 29/04/2023 07:38

Nope, he won't.

Even though we are married and I've been advised not to have any more for health reasons, had awful pregnancies, prem babies, pre eclampsia, hellp syndrome, then c sections with post partum haemorrhages and blood transfusions both times.

Also can't take or use anything hormonal for health reasons (massive family risk of cardiac issues and my blood pressure rises whenever I tried anything hormonal). I also can't be sterilised as I can only have "essential" or life saving surgery as I have a tendency to bleed a lot during surgery.

He's worried it will hurt, that sex will feel different and he also said that just because he doesn't want anymore children with me doesn't mean he wouldn't want anymore with anyone else if we broke up. Really hasn't done my mental health any good him saying that.

So we just use condoms. Works well as we've never had an unplanned pregnancy or a scare.

That said, I'm petrified of getting pregnant as id be recommended a termination by all medics. But that in itself would be risky too 😭

Reading this back has made me realise how selfish he is. He is essentially putting my health at risk as he's too pig ignorant to have a snip.

MaryJean87 · 29/04/2023 07:41

No, I got sterilised and was happy to do so. I had it done during my last c section so there was no extended recovery time. If we ever split up, which I can't see happening, but no one knows what's in the future, I won't fall pregnant by anyone else. Which is what I would want as I've got 4 kids ready and it would be a risk to my health.

DiscoBeat · 29/04/2023 07:42

Yes, after no. 4

ThankmelaterOkay · 29/04/2023 07:46

@NameChangeMumma23

Yeah, he’s an arsehole.

awakeeveeynight · 29/04/2023 07:48

Yes. He went willingly after our second was born

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