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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

If you're not wanting any or any more children as a couple, has your man's had the snip?

193 replies

Haleluljaa · 29/04/2023 00:31

Interested as it seems that the onus of prevention still seems to be on women, even in this day and age, and with all of the options available to men.

I've just had THE lightbulb moment that it's all been on me, when it would actually have been so much easier if my male partner had taken some responsibility

OP posts:
SH23B · 29/04/2023 00:33

Yes and willingly so.

IloveJudgeJudy · 29/04/2023 00:33

Same here. Before the birth of the third DC

ChopperC110P · 29/04/2023 00:35

Yes. Two months after last DC was born, he got the snip. He only waited the two months because it was a rough birth and couldn’t have both of us hobbling around at the same time not with the chaos of young DC bouncing off the walls and a newborn.

TheSmallAssassin · 29/04/2023 00:38

Yes, but he didn't get round to organising one until I got pregnant again and terminated because neither of us wanted a third child.

Haleluljaa · 29/04/2023 00:38

Wow! Impressed ladies by your partners! 😀
Way to go!

OP posts:
Haleluljaa · 29/04/2023 00:41

TheSmallAssassin · 29/04/2023 00:38

Yes, but he didn't get round to organising one until I got pregnant again and terminated because neither of us wanted a third child.

Very big hug X

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 29/04/2023 00:43

Yes dh got the snip so I don't use any contraception now

UWhatNow · 29/04/2023 00:46

Yes absolutely - after 3 much loved and wanted children, he felt it very much his duty to step up. All of our (middle aged) friends and family are the same - blokes all signed up for the snip no problem.

HamBone · 29/04/2023 00:52

Yes, we discussed it in-depth and determined that neither of us wanted any more children regardless of circumstances, e.g., even if we split up and DH met a new partner, he still didn’t want any more children.

So he had it done and lay on the sofa for two days with bags of frozen veg on the area, binge-watching Game of Thrones. 😂

mrsfollowill · 29/04/2023 00:54

Yes- DH got it done when DS was 9 - we had reached the grand old age of 40 and realised we never wanted to go back to newborns/nappies and were happy as a family of 3. It was a v simple procedure really- a few days of bruised balls but far less faff then my ECS was. He was a bit worried things 'wouldn't work right' at the time! but they did and it was the best thing we did!

HamBone · 29/04/2023 00:55

As @UWhatNow said, it’s really common, many of his friends have had it done.

neilyoungismyhero · 29/04/2023 00:57

My husband had it done in the morning, got bored laying on the sofa and went off back to work same day bless him.

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 29/04/2023 01:10

Yes. I can't use anything except condoms due to allergies so contraception has never been left to me to sort.

DP had a vasectomy after our second child was born last year. We decided that my body wouldn't handle another pregnancy well so it wasn't worth the risk.

I did have to remind him twice to get it booked though!

DramaAlpaca · 29/04/2023 01:14

Yes. Just before our third child's first birthday, 25 years ago. His decision, with my full backing.

2chocolateoranges · 29/04/2023 01:17

No he hasn’t. Our children are adults and neither of us wanted to undergo surgery and we respect each other’s opinions. We use condoms.

PlantDoctor · 29/04/2023 01:18

I feel like this tends to be the agreement in a couple who don't want to use condoms. The woman takes the pill/iud/injection etc. during the first part of the relationship and the man steps up for the vasectomy after the couple are done having kids.

WallaceinAnderland · 29/04/2023 01:21

Yes, most sensible option for us.

Tiredmum100 · 29/04/2023 01:41

Yes when dc 2 was about 2, dh had the snip.

CharlotteFlax · 29/04/2023 01:45

Yep, he's had the snip and it was one of the best decisions we've made as a couple.

SkyandSurf · 29/04/2023 01:50

Currently pregnant with a much wanted last child and DH has every intention of getting the snip.

He even suggested that when they roll me out after my planned C-section, they roll him straight in after!

I have no time or respect for these men who watch the women they supposedly love put their bodies through contraception, pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding - and then they are too precious to have a tiny day surgery on themselves.

The burden is already far too heavily placed on women's bodies.

It's the absolute least they can do.

HirplesWithHaggis · 29/04/2023 01:52

Yes, over 25 years ago.

JorisBonson · 29/04/2023 03:11

Yep, waiting for his appointment. We are childfree by choice.

Ponderingwindow · 29/04/2023 03:27

Of course. As soon as we were done with having children, DH had a vasectomy. He knew it was his turn to take some responsibility for birth control and general reproductive related risk.

Anaemiafog · 29/04/2023 03:28

Yes, booked when I was pregnant with our third DC. I gave birth and carried them, it was the least he could do.

PretzelKnot · 29/04/2023 03:35

Yes. After the birth of our 3rd. It was never an issue. His own dad had it done in the early 1970’s.