OLD. My goodness grief.

[Joewessex]

Evening evening and I hope you all had a nice Easter weekend.

if possible, I’d like to get a perspective of OLD from women.

if I’m honest, I find it hideous. Hideous in that it’s soul destroying. Whilst that sounds dramatic, I’m at my wits end wondering what I’m doing wrong.

Match after match and lots of silence. I don’t get why people are on it.

I thought I was a handsome guy, I’m definitely fit as I gym enough to have a body to show for it but I’m thinking something is wrong with my approach. I’m 47, no kids (I can’t have them) and I’ve been single 18 months. I’ve had a dozen dates but it just feels flat. One was quite amazing but she announced she was still married and with her ex at the date.

Im educated, dress well and have the usual stuff like my own home and a decent career. But finding a partner seems to be impossible nowadays. It used to be fun.

I do get out and about as I kayak, row, gym, climb and paddleboard etc but nothing comes of things nowadays. I’m a little bit shy so my confidence isn’t all there all the time but I soon warm up.

Any advice?

thank you ☺️

I’m held together by freckles and burn in moonlight so factor 50 all the way.

Well I love your final line; but then I'm a Scot of the peely wally freckled variety, so it's wonderfully evocative for me. Not sure if it would be so widely and wryly appreciated though.

Now you see you went too far there with a joke.....

39-47

Lol. No surprises there. So not a day older than you?

Just been crossing all the men off from tinder I only joined Friday it’s crazy! Do men just swipe every woman? I’ve been on them 2 weeks and I got to say it’s annoying me already. I’ve frozen my accounts now it’s too much admin. I have two dates this week but I think I’ll take a break after them!

Nah not for me thanks lol

What's yr number

If you go on a Neilson holiday don’t go to their resort in Croatia, the sailing there isn’t good.

And maybe you need to be a bit more open minded on age.

Exactly.

You sound just like the type of guy I’d want to date, are you near London?! Lol. I signed up briefly the other day, the first message I got turned sexual within 5 messages. I mean I walked into it my saying my job was flexible, I said something like ‘very flexible though’ so of course he said are you, and I replied saying that’s what I’ve been told!! Haha (true, recent ex said I was very flexible and I’m impressed that I am at 46!). So I ended up pausing the 2 accounts I set up, might go again in a few days. I found that I couldn’t see who liked me as I hadn’t paid a subscription. Which one do you use?

@aurynne

Why do you only look at younger women? I would find that a turnoff. Women like men their age. I personally like men my age and a bit younger.

Pot and kettle comes to mind 😆

Why can't he look for younger women (and he put his lower age at only 8 years younger than himself - not 20 years!) whilst you immediately say you prefer younger men!

Some good advice here, but from what I've heard men's profiles are generally terrible. so even if the OP's has flaws, it would stand out and be far better than most!

Also, OP, you've had 12 dates, so you're clearly not doing too badly! Yes, none have been the right one yet, but it's a numbers game, and I'd be surprised given your profile and what you've posted here if you don't find a decent woman soon. You certainly seem head and shoulders above many of the low-life's on Tinder!

As for not getting responses, attractive women will have a lot of offers, and if they have men they're already chatting to do, starting to date, then they simply may not have the capacity to include you into the mix, even though they find you attractive.

I suspect many profiles are live but inactive. I kept mine active for weeks when I started to date someone, though I never went into the app.

Because he is the one asking for advice and the one who can't find the love of his life. I don't have any problem at the moment getting what I want.

@aurynne

Why do you only look at younger women? I would find that a turnoff. Women like men their age. I personally like men my age and a bit younger

so you can go for younger men, but the OP is not allowed to go younger women, and people complain this site has double standards…

I found a lot of men just swipe because they want the ego boost of seeing how many women match with them - not actually interested in talking

Everyone is allowed to "go for" whatever they want, but the OP is asking for advice because he can't find the love of his life in OLD. I don't have that problem, younger guys seem to like me and I'm not looking for the love of my life (in fact I'm not even OLD ). There's no double-standards, simply because we're not in the same situation. What I am doing is working for me, while what he is doing is not working for him. And I would bet that, if he increased the maximum age range, he would get plenty more interest.

Thank you for all the overnight responses. I wish Tinder replies were as interesting and full of lovely conversation.

I’ve definitely got a lot of food for thought.

☺️

Not a single poster has commented on the very first mention being the height. Is that really normal on OLD?

@Joewessex Can I just say you sound like my ideal man! Give me a tall, sporty gym goer who likes the finer things in life.

I gave up on dating and apps, as I found apps soul destroying and left me questioning my worth. I'm never going to meet anyone at this rate. But its nice to see a man has the same feelings about it.

I wish Tinder replies were as interesting and full of lovely conversation

try hinge
in general i got nicer chats there
Tinder was …. Weird

I think you have nailed it in that this post was very honest hence very good answers and chat

your Profile could be the same

This was such a clever way to chat to loads of different women, OP, bravo 👏👏👏

Who needs Tinder, eh? Just pop on Mumsnet.

Like it or not, the fact that the OP is 6ft1in is an asset when it comes to dating. Why wouldn't he include it?

And it seems quite a few are interested in dating him too!

So why did you not just give your advice and leave it at that ?,
Why add your own preference, and yes is an absolute double standard from you., it’s so as I say and not as I do, that is exactly how it reads.

Most women don’t date shorter men , that’s just how it is, so probably a good idea to get that out there early doors

I am quite taken aback by this. Well if anyone does want to say hi, send me a DM. Could be the best thing I’ve done, coming on here for advice. ☺️