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Original poster

How long before you sleep together?

194 replies

ThisIsaNiceDress · 09/04/2023 16:12

What’s the accepted timeline nowadays when you are actually serious about someone? 😂

OP posts:
toddlermumx · 09/04/2023 16:14

I slept with my partner the first time I met him and now he's an amazing step dad to my son, we live together etc I don't think there's any set timeline IMO.

Pseudonamed · 09/04/2023 16:17

First night for us too but I knew that night I had met the man of my dreams.

Original poster
ThisIsaNiceDress · 09/04/2023 16:22

Wow girls. I was kind of hoping someone would come over to tell me to take things steady 😂 but that’s very reassuring…

OP posts:
Slimjimtobe · 09/04/2023 16:23

I would have thought about a month. But with dh is was a long long time due to his religious upbringing

Original poster
ThisIsaNiceDress · 09/04/2023 16:25

Ok, new perspective, thank you @Slimjimtobe
what about around a couple of weeks mark? Without that many dates in between? I can sense things brewing up but don’t want to mess it up!!

OP posts:
IDKandIDC · 09/04/2023 16:26

About 3 months of weekly, exclusive dates.
For me to enjoy the sex I need to build intimacy and trust which takes time.
I would also need to know them long enough to trust that they really don't have an STI when they tell me so because they take their health seriously and a decent honest person who doesn't sleep around. I need to trust that they won't hurt me or be secretly filming me or talking about our sex life and my body to their mates down the pub.

PaintedEgg · 09/04/2023 16:26

first "official" date...so maybe like 3hours?

BarbedButterfly · 09/04/2023 16:27

When you're ready rather than setting arbitrary dates. For me that has been first night with some, a few dates with others. If someone dumps me for sleeping with them too early when they were an active participant then they aren't for me anyway.

IDKandIDC · 09/04/2023 16:28

To the women who have sex very soon, do you actually manage to orgasm with a guy you knew 3 hours or a couple of weeks?

Pseudonamed · 09/04/2023 16:34

IDKandIDC · 09/04/2023 16:28

To the women who have sex very soon, do you actually manage to orgasm with a guy you knew 3 hours or a couple of weeks?

For context I had not had sex in over 6 years before meeting DP and never had an orgasm with ANY man due to penetration in my life.

Went out with DP on the first night. Within and hour I wanted to see him naked although we managed dinner and drinks and hours of chatting first. We were together 8 hours of non stop chatting and flirting before we kissed and then it led to sex and I had the first orgasm I have ever had via penetration that night. I had another the following morning and another via oral. Even if he never contacted me again after that I would never have regretted it but he did and we are still together nearly 3 years later.

ArcticSkewer · 09/04/2023 16:38

How important is sex to you?

For me, it's really important so I like to check out the chemistry pretty much straight away. No point wasting time getting to know them if they are crap in bed.

MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 09/04/2023 16:38

First night before we were even "properly" together. Still together 16 years later!

PaintedEgg · 09/04/2023 16:38

IDKandIDC · 09/04/2023 16:28

To the women who have sex very soon, do you actually manage to orgasm with a guy you knew 3 hours or a couple of weeks?

So I knew my husband before - but we were not friends, we knew each other on business-level and chatted a bit more before actually going on a date. I just fancied him because he was very much my type.

so to answer your question - yes, and I think it is because I felt so comfortable with him that it clicked in my head that this may well be "the one" - if he makes me feel this good in every sense of the word, we will probably click well in a long run

but dating is more art than science so I cannot tell you if this would work for anyone else or even for me in a different scenario

Easterfunbun · 09/04/2023 16:40

@IDKandIDC

It isn’t difficult for me. O so easily it wouldn’t matter if it was 10 mins on 10 years. Ridiculous 😂

Heynonnybollocks · 09/04/2023 16:43

About 3 years.

Or maybe not quite that long, but I have high standards and only tend to want to shag people once I have properly got to know them. Any man who gets to shag me is bloody lucky, so it's not going to be any time soon.

PaintedEgg · 09/04/2023 16:43

what i am learning from these replies is that if a woman wants to rip clothes off a guy in few hours AND then has an orgasm (or few) it's a good predictor of a long and happy relationship :D

Heynonnybollocks · 09/04/2023 16:44

I don't believe there's "the one", or the "man of my dreams", btw. I think there are plenty of men I'd be compatible with. Circumstances, geography etc all play a role in whether or not someone is a suitable partner at any particular moment.

StarlightLady · 09/04/2023 16:48

I've had sex the same day as I've met someone and no regrets. If the chemistry is right and hormones are bubbling it's the right thing to do in my book. Sleeping together and waking up together with the whole morning thing, a little bit longer.

Lcb123 · 09/04/2023 16:51

First night but we had met before a few times via mutual Friends. Together and married 11 years later!

Lcb123 · 09/04/2023 16:52

IDKandIDC · 09/04/2023 16:28

To the women who have sex very soon, do you actually manage to orgasm with a guy you knew 3 hours or a couple of weeks?

There’s plenty of women who don’t orgasm after decades with their men 😂

CaptainCorellisBagpipes · 09/04/2023 16:52

It depends on what you want.

If you are looking for a relationship it's best to wait at until you're comfortable with each other and have a better picture of what each person wants in the relationship.

Is there mutual trust and respect, common goals, a compatible life plan?

You need to find out if you are 'on the same page' with regard to finances, work, children, how many children, how they will be spaced and other attitudes.

If you are considering a Catholic Marriage. The Church operates a “Pre-Cana” so you will prepare for the Sacrament of Marriage. You and your future spouse will have the opportunity to discuss many important topics, including Family of Origin, Spirituality of Marriage, Money Matters, Conflict Resolution, Intimacy and Sexuality, Theology of Marriage, and more.

Thebigblueballoon · 09/04/2023 16:54

First date with partner of 14 years. We were friends beforehand, and just thought fuck it. 😂

Zanatdy · 09/04/2023 16:54

I waited 5wks most recent boyfriend, I knew him already. But 5wks was 3 dates due to childcare issues for him. I’d have definitely slept with him on date 2 if I had the chance but we were in public

Oneglassisnotenough · 09/04/2023 16:56

Four months here. Been with my DH for 22 years.

Easterfunbun · 09/04/2023 16:57

@Heynonnybollocks

Me too. Sometimes I’ll look at another bloke and thing “in another lifetime maybe” 😂.

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