Fabulous guy but..

[cheesecadet]

So you love everything you've seen so far (relationship of 2 months) and he shows you some photos on his phone, but tells you he had to delete the filth that his mates send him (says he deletes it straight away normally). When I ask him what filth he says, for example a normal comedy clip which turns into porn at the end as a joke. Also his friends share stuff on the Xbox. What would you think?
Can't help feeling disappointed really and surprised as he didn't see the type. Says he doesn't send it, they send it to him.
Thoughts anyone?

What are you disappointed about? What is it that you thought he was that he's turned out not to be?

Itd put me right off him tbh.

I think a lot of men send each other that sort of stuff. I wouldn't let it bother you.

It's not unusual but it is immature so it's up to you if it's off putting or not really.

I think he said it was on a group whatsapp. I just feel it's childish, I can't be doing with people that come across as thinking women are a piece of meat.
Am I overreacting?

It would bother me, I'd probably get the ick and end it.

Sorry but it's not in his control what his friends send

I couldn't get to worked up about that, he deletes it so what's your problem

For me, the issue would be that he is friends with men like this.

@Dacadactyl most men do even if you think they don't

They will have an immature one in the group

The double standards I've seen on here today are crazy

Imagine a men telling a woman that her friends are not acceptable, everyone would be telling the woman to get rid, how dare he say that etc

Unless he's 18 or under then I can't understand why he would have friends who'd send him filthy videos. I would definitely judge someone by their friendships.

How old is he 16 ?

I'd be more worried if he's sending it, and maybe a bit that he normally does but has realised he'd better not, although if it doesn't seem at all in his character then I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

No I wouldn't tell him just friends are unacceptable or anything of the sort. It would just totally colour my view of him, I'd lose respect for him and that'd be the end of it.

Thank you everyone.
@Dacadactyl that's what I'm thinking exactly.
To be honest everything has been amazing so far and we've both said that we've never felt more at ease and better connection with anyone else.
I'm just don't want to make a mistake of ending something so good on one thing. But yeah, it might just be his friends but it's still off putting him having friends like that.
I don't know what to do!

It would put me off knowing he had friends who thought this was funny.

I've never had a grown adult woman sens me misogynistic porn presented as humour.

Just because some men do this doesn't mean we have to accept it, maybe if men in general but also in the dating world pulled up these immature specimens women would respect them a tiny bit more.

It's perfectly reasonable to not want the company of someone that finds this behaviour acceptable enough to not shut it down.

A man who has those kind of friends would not be for me.

Locker room banter at the expense of women? Nope. Just couldn’t support that or let it slide.
Tell me your company and I’ll tell you who you are comes to mind.

I think you would be nuts to end it with someone you have a good connection with just because of this. As pp said, all men do this. I think it's childish and not funny. But not a dumpable offense when all he has done is receive it and delete it.
I think it's far weirder when men send just pictures of hot women into a group chat. When we were doing nct classes the men made a WhatsApp group and so did the women. My husband told me one man kept sending pictures of women in leggings with big bums etc into the men's group chat! So bizarre. He said no one would ever really say much to it, but no one said, that's a bit weird can you not do that. My husband said it happens in lots of men's groups.

What does he do as a job? It's not the sort of thing you'd imagine professional, educated people sending each other.

You do not have to feel accepting of anything he does, you are entitled to get the ick and move on.

@Echobelly I didn't expect it to be his character, really didn't seem the type, but I've not known him long so..
I'll be honest and say that I actually spoke to him about it, as he's always said he likes my honesty and not to bottle things up. He says that he doesn't send stuff like that, deletes it straight away, he hopes that it's not changed his opinion of him, he actually got quite teary as I said I was quite surprised he had friends like that.

Teary....? Ffs what a loser. Get rid. Who cries over something like that?

Can't help what ppl send to you if he was bothered he would have said to them long ago, or removed himself from the group.

He's sent me a lovely message since, and I feel like I'm ignoring him. Do I message him saying I'm not sure about things, pretend everything is okay while I think about what to do?

I don’t know how id react to this. He could be genuinely disgusted at receiving it - hence why he deletes it and calls it filth. But let’s be honest, he definitely views each image before deleting it and has no intention of leaving the group chat or asking them to stop. He secretly enjoys it