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Original poster

Fabulous guy but..

134 replies

cheesecadet · 24/03/2023 17:46

So you love everything you've seen so far (relationship of 2 months) and he shows you some photos on his phone, but tells you he had to delete the filth that his mates send him (says he deletes it straight away normally). When I ask him what filth he says, for example a normal comedy clip which turns into porn at the end as a joke. Also his friends share stuff on the Xbox. What would you think?
Can't help feeling disappointed really and surprised as he didn't see the type. Says he doesn't send it, they send it to him.
Thoughts anyone?

OP posts:
pixie5121 · 25/03/2023 10:35

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request.

MsCunk · 25/03/2023 10:35

This whole scenario has more than a whiff of future faking and boundary testing about it.

rwalker · 25/03/2023 11:14

cheesecadet · 24/03/2023 17:57

I think he said it was on a group whatsapp. I just feel it's childish, I can't be doing with people that come across as thinking women are a piece of meat.
Am I overreacting?

Personally I think you are overreacting
but if that’s your reaction and that’s his humour then end it
not everyone has the same bar on humour and being offended

Dj2020 · 25/03/2023 11:20

This has been an issue within my relationship.. my fellas phone full of pics and videos of women sent by his mates I hate it... but he says he can't do anything about it 🙄

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 25/03/2023 11:23

Dj2020 · 25/03/2023 11:20

This has been an issue within my relationship.. my fellas phone full of pics and videos of women sent by his mates I hate it... but he says he can't do anything about it 🙄

SAYS he can't.
MEANS he won't.

JupiterFortified · 25/03/2023 11:25

It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, it’s whether you’re comfortable with it or not.

Personally I couldn’t get worked up about this and it’s certainly not something I’d end a relationship over.

It always makes me laugh on these threads how people are so certain “oh my DH would never do that”. Yeah right.

It’s a wonder anyone manages to sustain a relationship these days if this is considered a dumpable offence.

Dj2020 · 25/03/2023 11:28

I know 🙄 reckons they will just carry on and send more... its literally horrible and he's on a stag do with some of them now so it's horrible to be here at home with the ds thinking what's going on.. it they are like that on the phone what do they do out... believe me I'm looking at my options

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 25/03/2023 11:29

@Dj2020 Flowers

TrishM80 · 25/03/2023 11:34

You're overreacting. And if you're waiting to find a guy who's not in a WhatsApp group where this type of stuff is shared, you'll be waiting a long time.

TeaserandtheFirecat · 25/03/2023 11:36

Ghostbuster2639 · 24/03/2023 19:11

If he’s teary at this what will he be like in a real disagreement? Lots of snot and man baby faces I imagine. And maybe the occasional loud sob.

My thoughts too!

He also sounds very manipulative and underhand. It’s not me it’s my mates......ugh.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 25/03/2023 11:38

My mum sends me photos that show a sick when you zoom in or something like that. An absolute non-issue

NotAnotherBathBomb · 25/03/2023 11:39

NotAnotherBathBomb · 25/03/2023 11:38

My mum sends me photos that show a sick when you zoom in or something like that. An absolute non-issue

Omg. DICK, that should say

JoanThursday1972 · 25/03/2023 11:40

@JupiterFortified "It’s a wonder anyone manages to sustain a relationship these days if this is considered a dumpable offence."

Says an awful lot about awful men

JupiterFortified · 25/03/2023 11:43

NotAnotherBathBomb · 25/03/2023 11:38

My mum sends me photos that show a sick when you zoom in or something like that. An absolute non-issue

You must dump her immediately 😂

Tuilpmouse · 25/03/2023 12:56

NotAnotherBathBomb · 25/03/2023 11:38

My mum sends me photos that show a sick when you zoom in or something like that. An absolute non-issue

😂. I did wonder... Never realised zooming in on a pile of vom was a thing!

Tuilpmouse · 25/03/2023 13:00

I wonder if all those who say "dump him" would dump their DP if he went on a stag do that ended up with some of them going to a strip club even if their DP declined and came back early, on the grounds that their DP had mates that were ok with going into strip clubs?

Tuilpmouse · 25/03/2023 13:04

You must dump her immediately"

You joke but some on here would probably go NC for this!

JupiterFortified · 25/03/2023 13:39

Tuilpmouse · 25/03/2023 13:04

You must dump her immediately"

You joke but some on here would probably go NC for this!

😂😂 true and also mind boggling

Yamaya · 25/03/2023 13:57

I think some of you don't get this isn't actual porn being shared. It's a normal video which the audio changes at the end to a woman's porn scream and the idea is you get caught out playing it somewhere. That's the joke. Sharing porn would be a different thing. It's not funny, but it's not like they are sharing actual porn with each other.

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 25/03/2023 14:01

Yamaya · 25/03/2023 13:57

I think some of you don't get this isn't actual porn being shared. It's a normal video which the audio changes at the end to a woman's porn scream and the idea is you get caught out playing it somewhere. That's the joke. Sharing porn would be a different thing. It's not funny, but it's not like they are sharing actual porn with each other.

I think you don't get that this was only one example.
OP's b/f told her himself that his mates regularly send him filth.

BlueSlate · 25/03/2023 14:23

Yamaya · 25/03/2023 13:57

I think some of you don't get this isn't actual porn being shared. It's a normal video which the audio changes at the end to a woman's porn scream and the idea is you get caught out playing it somewhere. That's the joke. Sharing porn would be a different thing. It's not funny, but it's not like they are sharing actual porn with each other.

Did the woman consent to her image being used in this way?

Tbh, I dated someone for a few months who had received one of these and he sent it to me.

I didn't like it and ended it but tbh I was more shocked than anything at how strongly I felt about the woman's image being used in this way. She had consented to it being used for porn but not to be the subject of a 'joke'.

Funny how it's never men who feature in these 'jokes'...

RLEOM · 25/03/2023 14:30

My ex is a mechanic. He got sent that kind of stuff all the time. My ex was also a porn addict, a womaniser and a cheat. :)

My current partner doesn't receive this kind of crap at all. He's an all round good guy who is nothing like my ex in the sense.

So from personal experience, it did reflect on the persona of who I was dating.

DivorcedAndDelighted · 25/03/2023 14:40

*I've got a boyfriend. I've been out and just come in and he's watching Star Trek Voyager. It's a shit series. There's only one reason men watch it. So I've come to bed.

I think I'm done with men too. *

Eh? Is this a joke? I used to love watching this series. I watched it with my ex. There's really nothing porny in it.

CantAskAnyoneElse · 25/03/2023 14:47

Funny how it's never men who feature in these 'jokes'...

It’s because they don’t want to / need to humiliate men, that’s only for women.
I remember a gay man saying how he ’had to’ watch straigh porn, because he was into some ”fucked up” shit and gay porn didn’t have that.
Really says it all, doesn’t it.
Maybe one day more women start to check their
internalized misogyny, instead of laughing at women who don’t want to deal with men like this.

wetpebbles · 25/03/2023 14:52

You need to get to know him a bit more