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Relationships
To never speak to him again after this?
shestakingtheurine · 17/03/2023 20:41
I've been dating a man for a few months now , we don't live together yet. My car broke down the other night on a busy dual carriageway in the rain at rush hour on my way home from work and it was a 2 hour wait for the AA man to come and rescue me. I messaged him and told him what had happened and he messaged be back saying 'that's sad' I later expressed that I felt I that he should have at least offered to come to me or offer me a lift home as the car went to the garage and I had to make my own way home. I said I was a bit upset that he hadn't even asked if I had got home ok. He responded that 'you want to click your fingers and I'm just going to drop everything and come' and 'I do actually have a life' and he said ' you think my world revolves around you and it doesn't' and 'why would I ask if you got home ok when you weren't even that far from home' and I have more important things to think about than a broken down car. I was shocked and upset as he had never behaved this way before but I haven't spoken to him since and I don't think I want to speak to him again. Was I in the wrong expecting him to show concern or help? He lives maybe a 20 minute drive from where I was.
shestakingtheurine · 17/03/2023 20:43
I would have even done this for an old friend never mind somebody I supposedly care about!
Theunamedcat · 17/03/2023 20:44
Bye bye bye 👋
If your not 20 minutes important then your not important
letthatmango · 17/03/2023 20:45
Grim. You’re well rid of him! Be glad you saw the real him before getting even more involved or tied to him.
Dacadactyl · 17/03/2023 20:45
I wouldve told him that very evening that i wanted hin to come and collect me. Barring a very good excuse, id be calling time if he didnt.
Backstreets · 17/03/2023 20:46
Yes, I too would expect more concern and effort from someone I was dating if my car broke down nearby than the equivalent of a sad face react on a Facebook post. Ugh
mrsfollowill · 17/03/2023 20:47
Bloody hell - he is a right twat! bin him off and consider it a lucky escape- better you find out who he is now than years on down the line. I'd help any of my friends in that situation. When you are in a relationship you help each other out.
DojaPhat · 17/03/2023 20:47
I think his reaction says a lot more about the situation than the situation itself. It's one thing to have expected him to help you out if he could have done but quite another to react the way that he did, he snapped back in a completely disproportionate way. The only thing you need to do now is resolve to yourself that it's over - no over-explaining, apologising, minimising that 'you were okay in the end' or 'this happens to everyone' etc etc. Do not be drawn. If he asks just tell him you don't think you're well matched and leave it there without giving him further ammunition to attempt to rip apart. It sucks especially if things were otherwise coming along nicely but the crux of it is these situations really give you insight into how people actually are, not the candle-light dinners and romantic strolls home.
Suetcrust · 17/03/2023 20:47
Oh my goodness. That’s awful. You know what you need to do.
Have you still got your school running shoes OP?
MoneyInTheBananaStand · 17/03/2023 20:48
Well I'm glad he showed himself to be so selfish this early. You can get rid with a clear conscience. Sorry he turned out to be an arse
Like others I would have picked up someone I only vaguely knew in that situation never mind someone I'm dating
xJoy · 17/03/2023 20:48
Agree, when he had the opportunity to show you that he was willing to step up when you needed help, he didn't bother. Then worse, he shamed you for hoping he might have been a better version of himself.
You say "we Dont live together yet"
I hope you don't try to push water uphill here.
KeanuKenunu · 17/03/2023 20:48
I'm sure you would prefer the type of man who would have helped. Any of us would have gone to help a friend or partner in those circumstances. It's not too much to expect. You deserve better.
shestakingtheurine · 17/03/2023 20:48
He messaged me back later to say that his dad had been rushed to hospital and I should be more considerate of him. Funny how he didn't mention this before though?
crackofdoom · 17/03/2023 20:48
This was a big test in a new relationship, and he failed.
I had something similar- "What are you up to?" "Actually, I'm in A & E with DS, he banged his head in the school playground and they insisted on calling an ambulance and blue lighted us to hospital. Wouldn't even let me follow behind in the car- I had to go with him- so I've got no idea how we're getting home" (I live rurally). "Oh, sorry to hear that".
I don't know whether he is aware of how much he damned himself with that response.
Witchytwitchybitchy · 17/03/2023 20:49
If you meant anything to him, he would have been there like as shot.
Just block him and make no contact.
Dacadactyl · 17/03/2023 20:50
shestakingtheurine · 17/03/2023 20:48
He messaged me back later to say that his dad had been rushed to hospital and I should be more considerate of him. Funny how he didn't mention this before though?
Bullshit. Hed have told you this at the time if that were true.
elastamum · 17/03/2023 20:52
Recently I drove a bunch of lads home who broke down near ours and I had never met them before. Sorry OP. Time to ditch this arsehole. He doesn't care about you.
Rebelmcstreettuff · 17/03/2023 20:53
I smell BS
My DH when he was my boyfriend travelled 40 minutes to me and changed a flat tyre in the pouring rain.
He would always message me to make sure I got home.
He sounds self centered and self absorbed
Dump him.
Pringleface · 17/03/2023 20:54
Oh. He’s one of those men who feel the need to demonstrate that they won’t do anything to help a woman, even their partner.
It will be because a) women want equality so don’t expect anything (even basic courtesy or consideration) from him, or b) no woman can use her feminine wiles to fool him into doing something because he’s stronger than that.
Bin.
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