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Original poster

To never speak to him again after this?

413 replies

shestakingtheurine · 17/03/2023 20:41

I've been dating a man for a few months now , we don't live together yet. My car broke down the other night on a busy dual carriageway in the rain at rush hour on my way home from work and it was a 2 hour wait for the AA man to come and rescue me. I messaged him and told him what had happened and he messaged be back saying 'that's sad' I later expressed that I felt I that he should have at least offered to come to me or offer me a lift home as the car went to the garage and I had to make my own way home. I said I was a bit upset that he hadn't even asked if I had got home ok. He responded that 'you want to click your fingers and I'm just going to drop everything and come' and 'I do actually have a life' and he said ' you think my world revolves around you and it doesn't' and 'why would I ask if you got home ok when you weren't even that far from home' and I have more important things to think about than a broken down car. I was shocked and upset as he had never behaved this way before but I haven't spoken to him since and I don't think I want to speak to him again. Was I in the wrong expecting him to show concern or help? He lives maybe a 20 minute drive from where I was.

OP posts:
AthenaPopodopolous · 17/03/2023 22:29

Well it seems like your a clever woman and sorted it out for yourself. You arranged breakdown cover and got on your way. So what’s the problem?

Climbles · 17/03/2023 22:30

If he had ignored your message or even replied ‘I’m busy right now’ that would have been understandable if his dad is in hospital but speaking to you so disrespectfully then turning it around on you is absolutely shocking. LTB

Dacadactyl · 17/03/2023 22:32

AthenaPopodopolous · 17/03/2023 22:29

Well it seems like your a clever woman and sorted it out for yourself. You arranged breakdown cover and got on your way. So what’s the problem?

You must be a single man with that attitude.

HarryBlaster · 17/03/2023 22:36

What an arsehole!!

Lachimolala · 17/03/2023 22:38

What a bizarrely contemptuous and scary overreaction, glad to hear you’re binning him off. You can do so much better.

JohnnyYenSetHimselfOnFireAgain · 17/03/2023 22:39

You were in need of help in a dangerous situation and he simply couldn't have cared less. Please get out of the relationship now. He's a self-centred dickhead.

GhostsJulianforPrimeMinister · 17/03/2023 22:41

Run run run he's horrid.

Thingstodotoday · 17/03/2023 22:42

AthenaPopodopolous · 17/03/2023 22:29

Well it seems like your a clever woman and sorted it out for yourself. You arranged breakdown cover and got on your way. So what’s the problem?

So tediously disingenuous. The problem is clearly the man she is seeing being a massive rude arsehole. Not the logistics of getting home.

JohnnyYenSetHimselfOnFireAgain · 17/03/2023 22:42

AthenaPopodopolous · 17/03/2023 22:29

Well it seems like your a clever woman and sorted it out for yourself. You arranged breakdown cover and got on your way. So what’s the problem?

Are you for real or just fishing for a reaction?

JudgeRudy · 17/03/2023 22:44

Opaljewel · 17/03/2023 21:57

Well arent you nice.

Show quote history

@Opaljewel . Being nice wasn't my intention, neither have I been unkind. My opening sentence was 'it depends'...because on this one the devil is in the detail. OP has since given a bit more information. I have no idea what sort of relationship they have. She says she's been seeing him a few months (3, 4?) but randomly says 'were not living together yet'. I think the crux is he views her just as someone he's dating. She seems to think he should have dropped everything. I don't think that was a given. If she had said I'm stuck and frightened snd can't get home, will you help me...yeah he'd a bit mean to say no if he wasn't doing anything but if he was I feel its reasonable to say is there anyone else you can ask. It appears she just expected him (as he says) to drop everything and crush out to her. I'm not saying thst would be wrong, but I wouldn't feel entiitled to that from a newish boyfriend. Of course if they had spoken last week about moving in together and getting a mortgage or starting a family I would expect him to come....I'd slso expect a call not WhatsApp. They doesn't really convey acute distress.
As I said....it depends

echt · 17/03/2023 22:45

AthenaPopodopolous · 17/03/2023 22:29

Well it seems like your a clever woman and sorted it out for yourself. You arranged breakdown cover and got on your way. So what’s the problem?

Egregiously shit reading skills on your part I fear.

I blame the teachers.

Hochjochhospiz · 17/03/2023 22:46

JohnnyYenSetHimselfOnFireAgain · 17/03/2023 22:42

Are you for real or just fishing for a reaction?

Show quote history

Just another one of these characters who show up on threads like this to have a go at women who've had to put up with some man behaving like a prick.
This one is the second one on here.
There will be more along in a minute once they start sharing the link to this thread with others in whichever forum they otherwise inhabit.

Lindy2 · 17/03/2023 22:47

He's shown his true selfish colours.

Partners in a good relationship look after each other - particularly when one of them is having trouble with something. Caring about each other is what makes a relationship strong.

I'd be finishing the relationship. He's really just not very nice.

echt · 17/03/2023 22:48

JudgeRudy · 17/03/2023 22:44

@Opaljewel . Being nice wasn't my intention, neither have I been unkind. My opening sentence was 'it depends'...because on this one the devil is in the detail. OP has since given a bit more information. I have no idea what sort of relationship they have. She says she's been seeing him a few months (3, 4?) but randomly says 'were not living together yet'. I think the crux is he views her just as someone he's dating. She seems to think he should have dropped everything. I don't think that was a given. If she had said I'm stuck and frightened snd can't get home, will you help me...yeah he'd a bit mean to say no if he wasn't doing anything but if he was I feel its reasonable to say is there anyone else you can ask. It appears she just expected him (as he says) to drop everything and crush out to her. I'm not saying thst would be wrong, but I wouldn't feel entiitled to that from a newish boyfriend. Of course if they had spoken last week about moving in together and getting a mortgage or starting a family I would expect him to come....I'd slso expect a call not WhatsApp. They doesn't really convey acute distress.
As I said....it depends

Show quote history

Bollocks.

She's woman on her own with a broken down car. His repetitively unpleasant observations are the issue here, not whether or not they're moving in together.

Mirabai · 17/03/2023 22:49

He messaged me back later to say that his dad had been rushed to hospital and I should be more considerate of him. Funny how he didn't mention this before though?

Text back: Sorry to hear that as you’re also dumped. And block.

Cj19877 · 17/03/2023 22:51

GCWorkNightmare · 17/03/2023 20:43

when people show you who they are……

Yes, I was just about to say this, sounds like you're about to dodge a bullet OP

GlassBunion · 17/03/2023 22:51

You've been dating a few months. He's not really your support network though, is he?

It would have been lovely if he joined you but realistically, what could his presence have achieved? Did you really want him to just stand there with him? Why?

As to taking you home, you'd have had to stay there for your car to be retrieved.
If you needed a lift you could have asked for a lift from him else you could have found someone else . It's no big deal.

You both have differing expectations.

daisydot22 · 17/03/2023 22:52

Agree that if he'd have said something along the lines of 'Im so sorry I wish I could come and help however my dads in hospital/I'm tied up/please let me know when you get home safe' it would be a different story. At least he would have shown some concern for your safety even if he wasn't in a position to help.

His response shows that he's an uncaring, rude, selfish dickhead and I would be letting him know that. Also pretending his dad is hospitalised to get himself off the hook is a real dick move.

Throw this one back.

Zanatdy · 17/03/2023 22:53

Wow, he’s shown his true colours that’s for sure

BritInAus · 17/03/2023 22:55

Be glad you found this out before you lived together. What a prince of a man! Most of us would stay with a stranger if we could. Definitely get rid.

adriftinadenofvipers · 17/03/2023 22:55

GlassBunion · 17/03/2023 22:51

You've been dating a few months. He's not really your support network though, is he?

It would have been lovely if he joined you but realistically, what could his presence have achieved? Did you really want him to just stand there with him? Why?

As to taking you home, you'd have had to stay there for your car to be retrieved.
If you needed a lift you could have asked for a lift from him else you could have found someone else . It's no big deal.

You both have differing expectations.

Absolute nonsense. There's such a thing as kindness isn't there?

Anyway, it's not even about the not going to her. It's the other nasty crap he followed up with. Completely out of order. Stop minimising this.

BillyDeanisnotmylover · 17/03/2023 22:55

Sorry, I haven’t read the full thread but my response to your initial post is dump him, he’s a twat.

FrostyFifi · 17/03/2023 22:56

People implying OP is somehow entitled, assuming you're also actually women: raise your bar. This is why we get theads here detailing years of shit treatment and abuse. This is what it looks like when it starts, but excuses are made, women blame themselves, don't want to be too entitled or ask too much.

Then they have to somehow extricate themselves a decade later with several children in the mix.

OP, I'm sure you will anyway as you've responded like a sane human being with functioning self-esteem - dump him. He's a prick and a liar to boot. Ill dad my arse.

Hochjochhospiz · 17/03/2023 23:00

adriftinadenofvipers · 17/03/2023 22:55

Absolute nonsense. There's such a thing as kindness isn't there?

Anyway, it's not even about the not going to her. It's the other nasty crap he followed up with. Completely out of order. Stop minimising this.

Show quote history

These posters popping up all of a sudden conveniently ignore the way he spoke to OP about what had happened. Doesn't fit with their agenda.
Irrespective of the rights and wrongs of whether he should have done something more, he showed no concern whatsoever and the way he spoke to her is completely unacceptable.

GlassBunion · 17/03/2023 23:00

@adriftinadenofvipers
This really is a non issue. Trust me.