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Original poster

I really dislike my new partners kids

270 replies

whattodonext09 · 26/02/2023 20:03

I have been dating a new partner for the best part of 4 months. You've taken it slow and not introduced our kids until recently.

Without sounding cruel, I really do not like my partner's kids. They constantly fight, bicker, talk back and are downright rude to them. Everything is a battle, who is sitting where in the car, bed time, what they are eating for dinner, what they are wearing, what we are doing. More often than not one or both get into a state if they do not get their own way.

It sometimes feels like a negotiation rather than a parent takign the lead.

They are a great person, a great partner and make me really happy. We connect on so many levels, emotionally, in our career, life values and sexually.

But I can't stand the way the kids behave. They can't even sit at a dinner table without having to be babied.

I know as the kids get older things will get easier but at this moment in time I don't like them and I don't like being around them.

I am not saying that I am parent of the year or anything, and they do anamazing job. Event my son has mentioned of their kids are constantly arguing.

It is really putting me off wanting to be with them...

Does that make me a bad person

I don't know what to do...

OP posts:
ElaOfSalisbury · 26/02/2023 20:04

How old are they?

SeulementUneFois · 26/02/2023 20:04

You are definitely not a bad person.
Prepare to be slaughtered on here, stepparents usually are no matter what they do.

Original poster
whattodonext09 · 26/02/2023 20:05

ElaOfSalisbury · 26/02/2023 20:04

How old are they?

7 and 9

They are not babies

OP posts:
Gjallerhorn · 26/02/2023 20:05

You break up with this new BF, it’s only been a few weeks or you suck it up. I would personally run a mile.

JassyRadlett · 26/02/2023 20:06

Ok, first, four months is not 'taking it slow'. That's very fast and these kids will have had no chance to get used to the idea of you before being made to meet you.

Second, you're not going to be seeing them at their best because they are probably unsettled by the idea of you and your kids.

How old are they? How old are your kids?

Honestly, I'd do everyone here a favour and end it with your 'partner'.

AmandaHoldensLips · 26/02/2023 20:07

End it. Not liking the kids is a deal breaker.

JellyMouse · 26/02/2023 20:08

You’re not in a position to do anything about this, other than end the relationship. You’ve dived in way too quickly.

Itcouldhappenabishop · 26/02/2023 20:08

4 months is very quick to be introducing each others kids! They're probably acting up as they're unsettled by the new adult suddenly parachuting into their lives.
Maybe they are little shits, maybe they're just young children who have had a family breakdown and are now supposed to be on best behaviour for some random woman.

Businessflake · 26/02/2023 20:08

Ffs you’ve been dating for 4 months. He is not a partner. You are not taking it slow. You are incredibly immature if you think so.

For all the kids sake please end this relationship.

EezyOozy · 26/02/2023 20:09

4 months is nothing. Just end it.

ToothyDuck · 26/02/2023 20:09

Dating for 3 months and a bit is not taking it slow to introduce kids and you need to break it off. No you're not a bad person for not liking his kids.

Feefee00 · 26/02/2023 20:10

whattodonext09 · 26/02/2023 20:03

I have been dating a new partner for the best part of 4 months. You've taken it slow and not introduced our kids until recently.

Without sounding cruel, I really do not like my partner's kids. They constantly fight, bicker, talk back and are downright rude to them. Everything is a battle, who is sitting where in the car, bed time, what they are eating for dinner, what they are wearing, what we are doing. More often than not one or both get into a state if they do not get their own way.

It sometimes feels like a negotiation rather than a parent takign the lead.

They are a great person, a great partner and make me really happy. We connect on so many levels, emotionally, in our career, life values and sexually.

But I can't stand the way the kids behave. They can't even sit at a dinner table without having to be babied.

I know as the kids get older things will get easier but at this moment in time I don't like them and I don't like being around them.

I am not saying that I am parent of the year or anything, and they do anamazing job. Event my son has mentioned of their kids are constantly arguing.

It is really putting me off wanting to be with them...

Does that make me a bad person

I don't know what to do...

You are trying to blend when you have been dating for 4 months. I have cheese in my fridge older than that. No wonder some kids are messed up so many selfish adults out there.

Dontfeedtheseagulls · 26/02/2023 20:11

When did their parents split?

WidthofaLine · 26/02/2023 20:12

Poor kids.

Adults every which way they turn being aresholes thinking of themselves.

AlwaysGinPlease · 26/02/2023 20:12

They are a great person, a great partner and make me really happy. We connect on so many levels, emotionally, in our career, life values and sexually

All that, after only four months ?! Oh do behave. Poor little children. I hope he dumps you first.

AllTheThingsIWantAreHere · 26/02/2023 20:13

That's taking it very fast not slow!

What do you see happening if you stay together? What the aim? You could continue as casual partners but if you are alreadung hanging out with each others kids I imagine that wouldn't work.

What do you think about the fact that your kid funds the kids hard work? Why would you subject them to that?

ElaOfSalisbury · 26/02/2023 20:13

I’d personally consider ending it OP, certainly distance yourself whilst you consider things.

His kids aren’t going anywhere and this is unlikely to improve.
You’re not a bad person. You deserve better. Don’t settle and be saddled with badly behaved kids and a Disney Dad.
Speaking from experience here.

category12 · 26/02/2023 20:13

You haven't taken it slow, and you need to end it.

You're not a bad person, but these children don't need someone who doesn't like them in their lives.

You'd be a bad person to put your interest in their dad above their interests. Do the right thing and break up with him.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 26/02/2023 20:13

4 months?!

Please end it. The kids don't deserve it

drpet49 · 26/02/2023 20:13

AmandaHoldensLips · 26/02/2023 20:07

End it. Not liking the kids is a deal breaker.

This

TorviShieldMaiden · 26/02/2023 20:13

How many kids do you have? Mine are like arseholes to each other and it started around this age. They constantly bicker about all the things you said. They drive me to distraction.

But four months is very early to introduce children.

Undermyumberellaellaella · 26/02/2023 20:14

Meeting the kids after 4 months isn't taking anything slow but that's another story.
Run a mile you obviously can't cope with it.

Zanatdy · 26/02/2023 20:14

It is very fast. I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for 3 and a bit months. He’s not my partner and I haven’t met his kids yet, our kids don’t even know we are seeing someone. It’s so early for blending kids, if you must meet them early at least leave blending until later down the line. But even after 12 months you might still hate the kids.

LindorDoubleChoc · 26/02/2023 20:16

Oh dear, that's a shame. Time to end this relationship then.

SongChaser · 26/02/2023 20:16

Poor kids. 4 fucking months. 🙄