He only wants to get married after a drink

[squaresc]

DP has proposed a few times whilst drunk, but when he's sober he won't talk about it. I've gently broached the subject asking things like "are we still engaged" and "should we talk about this sober?" He just gets a bit stressed and the conversation tapers off.

He's asked my ring size before but no sign of a ring.

We've been together 5 years, in the process of buying a house and planning on TTC once we've moved.

He's almost 40, he (sober) had told me previously that he was planning on proposing at the end of last year. Why is it so hard?

OP I recommend the Dorothy Sayers novel "Strong Poison" which has scathing words to say about offers of marriage as a "good conduct prize"!

Viewing tomorrow, staying at my sister's tonight and spending time with family. A bit concerned about how long it'll take for a purchase to go through. I won't be able to stay at our flat whilst I wait. I suppose I'll need to stay with family once I've told him I'm buying without him.

Thank you to everyone for the words of encouragement.

So delighted to read that you are going ahead with the purchase on your own.

So what if you have to stay with family for a bit.

Be prepared for him to backtrack big time and tell you what he thinks you want to hear when he realises you are going ahead with the purchase on your own.

Please do not trust or believe him.

This is a selfish man that only thinks of himself.

YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER THAN HIM🙄, AN OLD MAN!😁

Glad to hear that you have taken charge of your life and it seems to be coming together!

Update —

I found a flat and out an offer in. They'll let me know tomorrow if it's accepted or not.

Fingers crossed for me, please

Super🤞🏻

👍🤞🙏

🤞

Fingers tightly crossed!

So pleased for you.

Really delighted for you.🤞

Good luck OP! Have you now officially ended it with him then and told him you're buying separately?

BRILLIANT 🤩

You've done so well OP! Everything crossed for you 🤞🏻

Hope the flat comes through!

Just read your thread, so pleased to get to the end and the outcome is you are moving on, 🤞 for you and well done!

Well done OP. Really hope you get it

How have things been since?

Fingers crossed for you @squaresc

You've done well to be so strong and focused throughout this process.

Try and remove some possessions from the flat you're currently sharing (important documents, some clothing, items of value/sentimental value to the home of a family member's whilst you wait to get confirmation/completion on your new home. And don't forget to do change of address with the Post Office online and at work, and amend your death in service beneficiary if he's named. If you are named on any utility/service bills in your current home, get those changed ASAP. Take a meter reading on your departure date on gas/electric meters if necessary plus photocopy/take photos of anything which is relevant before you leave in case there any queries/misunderstandings after you've left. If you have joint bank accounts ensure you transfer out what you've paid in into a separate, personal account he has no access to. Good luck. 🌹

Finger and toes crossed for you!

I haven't told him I'm putting offers in yet, no.

He said something about being about to ask if I wanted to go ring shopping but having to spend the money on something else during a conversation and I explicitly reminded him that I would say no.

I think maybe he was testing the waters to see how I'd react. I'm holding my ground and am going to Al-Anon tonight, for the first time.

Still not heard if offer has been accepted

Hope it’s good news anyway @squaresc .

Just wanted to say good luck. I'm rooting for you

This bit is nail-biting!

Offer has been ACCEPTED !!