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Original poster

Husband infiltrated group Whatsapp

211 replies

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 06/02/2023 22:46

I'm on a group Whatsapp with three other friends. I had a phone call from one of them asking if I was free on a particular date and I'm not, we chatted about other possibilities and I've got loads on so she suggested I let them all know when I wasn't available to work around it, so I did.

A message appeared tonight clearly written by one friend's husband. Three of us are single.

He started off trying to wind me up about football as he supports a rival team and he's obsessed. They've come home from holiday early so he doesn't miss a game. The message went on suggesting I'm not a proper supporter because I don't hold a season ticket and suggesting I've not been to the matches since 1999 which is untrue. (The reason I couldn't make one date is I'm going to football with another friend) The message goes on:

You have never bothered since 1999.Why change habits of so long .Much more enjoyable lunching with M, S and W. Maybe they have some important dates too? Compromise is usually best as it could get tricky if there are 4 lists?

This sounds like I'm expecting everyone to work around me and I'm not. But what it has to do with him I've no idea I'm not at all happy he's muscling in on group Whatsapp chat! He's somehow got hold of her phone. It's definitely him not her.

I'm not sure what I'm going to say, it's bloody bizarre.

OP posts:
Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 08/02/2023 16:13

ClawedButler · 08/02/2023 13:56

Every new thing we hear about Thundertwat makes him sound worse and worse.

Your poor friend - sounds like she's just been worn down by it over the years. I expect he thinks he's hilarious and that everyone else is stupid. Unfortunately I've met the type before - fortunately one hasn't attached its parasitic self to me or any of my friends.

@ClawedButler This is him exactly. He makes the most inane jokes and actually laughs at them himself.

OP posts:
Eyerollcentral · 08/02/2023 16:22

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 08/02/2023 16:13

@ClawedButler This is him exactly. He makes the most inane jokes and actually laughs at them himself.

Show quote history

Oh god. I had a friend w a prick like this for years. It was torture to be in his company. I had to smile sweetly as I already knew it would be worse for her if I didn’t. She wasn’t ready to face it then. When she finally got away and eventually opened up he was far worse behind closed doors than I’d even imagined.

Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 08/02/2023 23:13

The other friend (ie not the unfortunate wife of this fool) has called me tonight to say she felt he's out of order, a complete tool, ridiculous and embarrassing - they were the kinder things she said about him. He "goes off on one" when anyone mentions football and the opposing team to him. So this gives him carte blanche to act like a total nutcase, does it?

His poor wife is mortified. She told me that she thought that I thought she had been grumbling about me (as, in fact, did a few posters on here). She hadn't all, he had got hold of her phone whilst it was charging and now knows he's been looking at her phone possibly at other times, and has changed the passcode. She didn't know how he'd worked it out, other than watching her surreptitiously. He read our group message before she did. There is absolutely nothing for him to be perturbed about in her phone, no other men, no cheating, nothing at all. If there is any fallout from her changing her passcode, remains to be seen.

It's left us all feeling uncomfortable, and our poor friend now all knowing we hate her husband.

OP posts:
Eyerollcentral · 08/02/2023 23:25

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 08/02/2023 23:13

The other friend (ie not the unfortunate wife of this fool) has called me tonight to say she felt he's out of order, a complete tool, ridiculous and embarrassing - they were the kinder things she said about him. He "goes off on one" when anyone mentions football and the opposing team to him. So this gives him carte blanche to act like a total nutcase, does it?

His poor wife is mortified. She told me that she thought that I thought she had been grumbling about me (as, in fact, did a few posters on here). She hadn't all, he had got hold of her phone whilst it was charging and now knows he's been looking at her phone possibly at other times, and has changed the passcode. She didn't know how he'd worked it out, other than watching her surreptitiously. He read our group message before she did. There is absolutely nothing for him to be perturbed about in her phone, no other men, no cheating, nothing at all. If there is any fallout from her changing her passcode, remains to be seen.

It's left us all feeling uncomfortable, and our poor friend now all knowing we hate her husband.

Oh there will be. All you can do is keep communication open and let her know you are there until she says please help me get out of here

Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 09/02/2023 00:41

@Eyerollcentral Yes we are arranging something in the next week or two.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 09/02/2023 01:14

And the message needs to be, "we love you, what do you need?".

He's basically surveilling his wife, fucking creepy, revolting weirdo.

deciduouspants · 09/02/2023 07:07

Re: Husband infiltrated group WhatsApp.

Someone, please advise "Neil" to read this thread and all the responses.

billy1966 · 09/02/2023 08:42

Stressing to her that you are always there for support, day or night, that she ALWAYS has a bed at yours is the best you can do, oh and to emphasis to her how great she is, how much you care and value her, and how she deserves so much better than this.

It might takes moths or a few years but that knowledge that she has somewhere to and that someone really cares and understands is what might give her the push.

That is all you can do.

Reassure her that he will not get his way and isolate her from her friends would be a nice seed to sow too.

Original poster
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 09/02/2023 09:31

Yes we are always here. I just worry it will feel embarrassing for her that the other three of us think she's picked a dud.

OP posts:
OldFan · 09/02/2023 22:26

@ImJustMadAboutSaffron I'm sure she knows herself that she's picked a dud OP. Or she'll realize sooner or later.

billy1966 · 10/02/2023 08:41

Yes she may feel embarrassed why wouldn't she.

But that should fade as she is reassured that she has friends that really care and totally have her back.

She's a lucky woman.

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