New boyfriend and how he responded when I cancelled plans due to being sick

[Bestbuys4]

Could someone give me some perspective on this-
My boyfriend of 7 months has made plans today to go to the pub this afternoon with his friends. I too was going, some of his friends were bringing their partners and some weren’t.
I haven’t been well past few days with a headache, just been coming and going and I haven’t been sleeping well. Today is the first day in a number of weeks my children are with their dad. I was looking forward to going out, got my hair done etc. woke up this morning feeling awful, sore head, sore ear and exhausted.
Boyfriend new I hadn’t been feeling well. I told him I wouldn’t make it out today that I needed to rest (kids will be back tomorrow).
he was annoyed and said I wasn’t making the effort. He was extra annoyed that I went to the shop (to get painkillers and collect a parcel from same shop) when I couldn’t go to meet them at the pub to watch the match. Was I really out of order? He said if I was so sick why haven’t I called the doctor and that he didn’t believe me when I said I had taken some painkillers. I tried to explain there is a big difference to nipping to the shopping and sitting in the pub all day

Well done op

I agree with the other posters. He probably thought you would beg when he said it wasn't working. The fact that you haven't will have confused him.

Don't get sucked back in. Thoroughly recommend the freedom programme

So glad you're free of him. You're worth more than this

This is your cue to run. The End.

Well done OP :)

Woo hoo I am very happy for you @Bestbuys4

You got rid of him.

If you need a sounding board for when he tries to creep back into your life, we’re here and will help you.

I hope you’re feeling better and have got rid of the original illness, as well as the waste of space man.

@BestBestbuys4 well done. I'm glad you asked here and could be a little prepared for the mind games that were heading your way. I'm sure he'll be back in touch but stay strong. You're worth way more than what he can offer.

Well done @Bestbuys4! You've dodged a utterly selfish and useless man bullet there.

Hope you're feeling a bit better

Just a check in from a few weeks post break up. I feel awful, I’ve been so upset. Despite knowing there are so many red flags I honestly feel heartbroken. My ex boyfriend has now spun the story to where “I’m not what he wants in life” which has just left me feeling so down. I know I was a good girlfriend to him. Some advice would be much appreciated.

Breakuphelp12

breakups hurt
they really really do xx
even if they made you miserable for a while and hurt you
they still hurt to fuck

and yes he’s going to spin as he’s a flawed human and he needs to accept this and make his own excuses !

You have to do what every heartbroken person does and wait it out.

go 100% no contact on every channel
keep busy
and wait and let time pass xx

@Breakuphelp12, it’s best to start a new thread. On my machine, you go up to the top righthand side of the page and tap on the arrow, and you get a menu inclding ‘Start a new thread’.

Best of luck. He sounds like an idiot, so with luck you’ll soon be glad you split up.

Of course he is going to spin it.

He's an awful loser that isn't liking being dumped.

Good for you.

He's awful.

Be glad you got rid of him.

You can't honestly expect anyone to be pleased they were dumped and celebrate it?

Of course he is going to try to reframe it to salve his fragile ego.

You have done the right thing.

Staying with him would have brought you nothing but misery.

Is that what you'd prefer?

All of the above and more. You've dodged a bullet and one day you'll be very grateful for that. He'll spin a narrative to suit his story, they always do. You didn't beg and cry for him to change his mind - you took away his power. They don't like that. You should be immensely grateful that such toxicity is out of your life and importantly out of your kids life. It does serious damage.

My ex boyfriend has now spun the story to where “I’m not what he wants in life” which has just left me feeling so down.

Hi OP - a little story for you. At the time I split up (finally) with ExH I worked in the City of London and one of the departments in the bank had business dealings with STBEX's financial company. Having a chat with a colleague who was having dealings with STBEX and mentioned 'your sad mutual decision to fnally separate.' I said nothing - but I thought mate, if I told you about the last 2 years and the way he's treated me, not least over selling the house, you'd realise there was nothing 'mutual' about it.
But that was the story he'd spun to people, and above all himself. He HAD to come out of it looking like the good guy - either because he genuinely thought that or he just couldn't acknowledge, even to himself, the complete and utter arsehole he'd been for 2 years. Your ex is doing the same - making himself feel good at your expense to other people. All I feel for my ex now after all those years is contempt - please don't let a man who is the shit on your shoe get you down because frankly, he isn't worth the time. He's showing you, with his behaviour when you were ill and his narrative about the break up, what he's really like and how well advised you were to dump him. And you can bet other people have his number, as well.

Get rid!