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Original poster

Boyfriends mum told me he didnt want to be with me.

233 replies

Captaincaveman7 · 02/02/2023 00:39

Am in relationship of 2 years. We are in late 30's. Was in the pub with boyfriend and his mum and she was generally saying that he does what he wants to do and isn't really good boyfriend material she then started shouting that he doesn't want to be with me. I asked him directly and he wouldn't answer the question and i kept asking and she was shouting he doesn't want to be with you and so I said I wanted to hear from the organ grinder and not the monkey and asked him again directly - he told me she was winding things up so I asked him again and he said 'I don't know' he then ran away to a friends house. The next day I asked him why he didn't stick up for me and he said he's lost his voice and of course he does want to be with me, loves me more than anyone and hopes to marry me one day. He tried to belittle what had happened saying his mum was on the wind up - to me it was sick. Wat would you make of it?

OP posts:
DowntonCrabby · 02/02/2023 00:42

I wouldn’t waste an iota of energy trying to make anything of it, I’d just get the fuck out of the relationship. You deserve much better Flowers

Suprima · 02/02/2023 00:43

Sounds like she was trying to do you favour

was his reaction in the moment of someone who wants to be with you? Did he defend you?

2023a · 02/02/2023 00:44

You’d be foolish to stay in this relationship. She was screaming this at you and he didn’t say anything? And you didn’t leave? And you were still asking him questions the next day? What possible justification could there be?

Original poster
Captaincaveman7 · 02/02/2023 00:45

No and that's the problem, I said why didn't you just tell her she was wrong, I needed reassurance. He said he wasn't listening. She was pissed and is overbearing and under stress he freezes - but still I told him he dint have my back and he just made excuses.

OP posts:
Original poster
Captaincaveman7 · 02/02/2023 00:46

I Know, all he says is she was laughing and on the wind-up. I said why didnt you just stand up and defend me and tell her she's wrong. Its almost surreal how awful it was and how he is playing it down

OP posts:
GoodChat · 02/02/2023 00:46

He doesn't want to be with you. He's just a coward.

Aquamarine1029 · 02/02/2023 00:47

Is this a joke? You're late 30's and tolerating this bullshit?

Original poster
Captaincaveman7 · 02/02/2023 00:48

I told him he is a coward with no balls, I havent seen him for 3 days, why would he continue to deny that he wants to break up?

OP posts:
2023a · 02/02/2023 00:48

Captaincaveman7 · 02/02/2023 00:46

I Know, all he says is she was laughing and on the wind-up. I said why didnt you just stand up and defend me and tell her she's wrong. Its almost surreal how awful it was and how he is playing it down

I genuinely find it surreal that you’re having thus conversation. What could he possibly say that could make this okay? Nothing. So why even have the conversation?

Original poster
Captaincaveman7 · 02/02/2023 00:49

I know its ridiculous, who does that sort of thing as a wind-up. I know his mum is toxic but thats next level and him sat there saying nothing.

OP posts:
2023a · 02/02/2023 00:49

Captaincaveman7 · 02/02/2023 00:48

I told him he is a coward with no balls, I havent seen him for 3 days, why would he continue to deny that he wants to break up?

Are you unable to break up with him?

Original poster
Captaincaveman7 · 02/02/2023 00:50

2023a He has downplayed it and said she was just joking - I feel like i must be going crazy cos for me its a terrible thing to do to someone. I needed to run it past others. Had all the soft soap today about how upset he is and angry with his mum and he loves me etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
Captaincaveman7 · 02/02/2023 00:51

I told him that as his mum broke up with me we are no longer together. We were living together ffs. Are men really this gutless? and after 3 days why cant he just admit by text that he did want to split up?

OP posts:
whytesnow · 02/02/2023 00:51

Why's his mum saying it??

MingeofDeath · 02/02/2023 00:52

It's over.

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 02/02/2023 00:52

Why are you waiting for HIM to tell you whether he does or doesn't want to be with you?

It is up to YOU whether you will put up with this mummy's boy in your life.

2023a · 02/02/2023 00:53

Captaincaveman7 · 02/02/2023 00:50

2023a He has downplayed it and said she was just joking - I feel like i must be going crazy cos for me its a terrible thing to do to someone. I needed to run it past others. Had all the soft soap today about how upset he is and angry with his mum and he loves me etc.

This is nonsense. You are a grown woman. You know this is unacceptable. So dump him.

Don’t be one of those woman that just sits there, gets treated like shit and wrings her hands going ‘well, he’d dump me if he didn’t want me.’ Take control of your life.

Original poster
Captaincaveman7 · 02/02/2023 00:53

OrderOfTheKookaburra Yes you are right, wish people would just tell you straight instead of getting their mum to do it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Captaincaveman7 · 02/02/2023 00:55

whytesnow The mum doesnt like me and he told me that he said to her that she is gonna wind things up and split us up that night.

OP posts:
2023a · 02/02/2023 00:57

@Captaincaveman7 If you want to tag posters, type an ‘@‘ in front of their username. To respond to specific comments, click the three dots on the bottom right of a comment and select ‘quote’.

Original poster
Captaincaveman7 · 02/02/2023 00:58

2023a · 02/02/2023 00:57

@Captaincaveman7 If you want to tag posters, type an ‘@‘ in front of their username. To respond to specific comments, click the three dots on the bottom right of a comment and select ‘quote’.

Thank you

OP posts:
TheEmbargoedHedgehog · 02/02/2023 00:58

Pub + MIL + Coward = ?

Original poster
Captaincaveman7 · 02/02/2023 01:00

TheEmbargoedHedgehog · 02/02/2023 00:58

Pub + MIL + Coward = ?

I dont know what it equals. All i know is he has tried to play it down and it was horrendous.

OP posts:
Original poster
Captaincaveman7 · 02/02/2023 01:02

Aquamarine1029 · 02/02/2023 00:47

Is this a joke? You're late 30's and tolerating this bullshit?

Not a joke, she gets pissed and mouths off, he has a weird attachment to her and is kind of afraid of her, I thought we were in a happy relationship.

OP posts:
TheEmbargoedHedgehog · 02/02/2023 01:02

Captaincaveman7 · 02/02/2023 01:00

I dont know what it equals. All i know is he has tried to play it down and it was horrendous.

Show quote history

There's your answer.

= Horrendous.

You deserve better.