How long into the relationship did you get engaged?

[mum1993]

I've been with my partner 9 years and we have 3 children and a house together. However, we are not married, in fact we aren't even engaged.

Now don't get me wrong, this doesn't affect our relationship at all but it is something that plays on my mind a lot and with every engagement announcement my heart breaks a little bit more. When I've tried to mention it, he says I'm being dramatic!

Is it normal for me to feel upset about this?

What happens in Vegas... 😉

Eight years - but I was only 22 when we met.

I used to joke that the longer you wait the bigger the ring

2.5 years, but we started talking about marriage from about 6 months in. We both wanted dc (and it was important that marriage happened first, not the least for immigration reasons as I was not British and not able to live in the UK easily without being married). And we wanted to live together and not worry about me needing to move back to my home country or dealing with all the stress of visas.

So it was the plan from very early on that we would get married. As time went on, we discussed a date and when we wanted to finally be settled. Dh did propose in quite a traditional way, but it was after about 2 years of talking and planning to get engaged and married.

He certainly knew there was no way I would or could even move to live with him, but a house or have dc unless we were engaged (so I could get a visa) and married.

Sorry, I think after 9 years, kids, a house if he isn’t ‘ready yet’ that means he doesn’t want to get married.

Two years.

He fairly obviously doesn't intend to marry you OP, so you should make all plans and life decisions accordingly. I'd be upset about his dishonesty too. It would've been fine if he'd been upfront and said he doesn't want to get married, but hiding behind not being ready is fucking pathetic at this point.