Dumped by text ( part 2)

[RunningInRain]

Hi, it’s been suggested I start a new thread as last one nearly full.
My previous name was user1471427667 and in the early hours of one morning nearly 6 weeks ago, my seemingly wonderful boyfriend of two years sent me this text message:
“Hey I’ve been thinking about us and it’s just not working out so best to end it. No need to reply. All the best.”
I was completely blindsided at being dumped when there seemed to be no reason, but mostly at the cold, dismissive way he did it. The words “no need to reply” were particularly cruel. I started a thread on here and was overwhelmed by the support. It’s no exaggeration to say, I was on the floor crying a lot of the first few days (and a few since) .
Even though I was, at first, desperate to talk to him, I didn’t. I knew there could be no ‘good’ outcome of me contacting him. It’s now been 6 weeks and he has sent a few messages - nothing substantial and no apology.
I’m slowly feeling stronger, helped by my friends, this thread, my new found love of running, especially in storms (hence my new name) and by choosing everyday not to reply to him.
I’m not over him yet, so hopefully this thread will continue to help me keep on the right path and help others going through something similar.
Can hear the rain lashing against my windows so I’m off for a run!

🌻🌻🌻

Thanks for starting another thread OP, I got a bit lost on the other one as I read it when there were lots of replies. You’re such a strong lady and I’m so happy you’ve found new love for things that you probably would never have tried if you were still with him. He doesn’t deserve you !

I'm huddled on the sofa and can't see me moving far from it today - I admire your rain running! storm Jorge hits my area round midday.

@runninginrain I am really amazed at your resilience I'm sure I would have floundered.

There is sometimes no reason for people's behaviour, but when you're left trying to fathom it out, picking it all apart and getting nowhere, it's emotionally very draining. Closure is helpful, a coward will never give you that, and he clearly is a coward.

You are an inspiration to others in similar predicaments, keep posting here OP, I imagine it's very cathartic for you to do so.

Enjoy the rain

Years ago I was dating 'the love of my life' and we were talking about our wedding and future children and life together. Then suddenly out of the blue I got a text similar to yours. I was utterly heartbroken. About a year later he was married to someone from his office and about 9 months later she gave birth to their son. He's since cheated on her and they are not happy but 'staying together for the children'.
I imagine he probably would have cheated on me if we'd married and I would have felt stuck with him for the sake of our children. So sometimes these things work out for the best in the end even though we can't see it at the time. It was a shitty way to break up, but at least you're free now to find someone you can be happy with.
Good Luck!

Checking in. So much rain today OP!

I remember being dumped a similar way, it’s awful isn’t it when you haven’t got a clue why

Glad your doing well and putting your energy elsewhere. I admire you running today, I can’t see me moving far from the sofa today!!

As a fellow runner who likes to hit the trail even when the weather is shit, I can confirm that a good angry run in stormy weather is incredibly therapeutic. Keep that up as well as not contacting him. I suspect he sends the odd message because his ego wants to know how devastated you are over losing him. Don’t give him the satisfaction but do keep ploughing through the rain. Good luck. X

Checking in too. Your thread was up there with the best I've read in here in years.

Keep on running!

Read your previous thread and was cheering you on - you’ve done exactly the right thing. Stay strong!

Well done you! Enjoy your rainy run!

Great work OP xxx How're you feeling?

Morning!

You are an inspiration! I’ve followed your story from the start and felt your pain but you have been so so strong. You deserve better.

I am months out of a relationship which ended due to a spineless bf closing up on me, gaslighting me and making me walk away in the end so he could play the victim. I was so confused and heartbroken and tried to get ‘closure’ and to be honest I don’t think many men can even be mature enough to provide it. You end up with more questions and confusion. I did the crying and trying to understand why....all I got was more pain to process and his absolutely shitty smug looks. I’m starting to realise the emotional abuse I was being subjected to. I wish I had never bothered to seek closure or text him because he is so immature he views it as a game that he is winning. It’s been cruel...you have been so dignified and he doesn’t deserve to ever hear from you again

So glad I found the new thread.

Yay!

KOKO OP!!!

I’ve just read the whole thing. Wow OP, the strength you’ve shown is absolutely incredible. I am in awe 👏🏻

Well done op!! You're an inspiration in how to deal best with such twattish behaviour!

Aaaah, you lovely lot, what lovely messages to come back to.
Really good run in the rain. I never would have thought I’d say that 6 weeks ago. I’d go running occasionally but had to really tell myself it would do me good and even then I’d mostly ignore my inner voice and not bother.
Even past breakups, I’d sit crying into a tub of ice cream and running would come way down the line.
I think the difference this time is the fact I didn’t see this breakup coming at all and the cold way it was done by someone I thought I knew so well has completely turned everything upside down. Like Everything I thought was true, wasn’t. Running helps in so many ways - mainly, as a pp said so well, it’s like a you come back exhausted and then have a physical location for your emotional pain. I can also try and outrun my rage , if that makes sense. At times I’ve felt so angry with him, that on those days I run at full speed . I can cry in the rain and no one can see and I’ve even shouted against the wind at times - thank god for all the storms lately!!!!
I have to do this for myself. I know I can’t ( and don’t want to) rely on him to give me answers. I have to somehow learn from all this and move forward. Haven’t quite figured out how exactly I do that, but I know concentrating on myself, rather than what he is doing/saying/thinking, is helping me feel strong and regain a sense of control in all this chaos.
Got to do a bit of shopping now before going to a friends later.
Hope you are all having a good Saturday x

Just dropping into the thread to say how well you sound... you've even made running sound quite tempting, which is not something I usually think. Keep going and, as ever, don't text him!

I've been reading your other thread since the start, and I've been regularly checking in because I'm so desperate to see you get an apology and an acknowledgement that he's behaved like a shit. I can't believe he hasn't! To send that initial text and then berate you for being childish because you didn't reply (as instructed), without even apologising for it - he must be a very cold, self-centred person with no empathy in him. I still hope you get an explanation at some point, not so you can forgive him or whatever, but ao you can give him less headspace. He doesn't deserve your tears and pain.

You are dealing with this so brilliantly, when my ex husband left me I used running as well as a type of coping mechanism whilst listening to a sort of girl power playlist! It really, really helped.
I've since met a new BF and have been with him for 2 years like you were and would feel co.pletely shocked if I received a message like that.
Had everything been normal the last time you guys had seen each other?
Do you have children? If so it's hard to cope with their upset too isnt it x

he must be a very cold, self-centred person with no empathy in him.

He strikes me as a little bit crazy in the coconut. Something is definitely not right upstairs.

Like many people like this however I'm sure he appears quite charming/normal/plausible.

Bullet dodged for op. Let him ruin some other poor fuckers life, can you imagine someone pulling shit like this on you when you've a mortgage or children with them.

"I'm out, bye bye, don't reply, I don't want to deal with your feelings .... Hey ... Hey there ...Why aren't you responding, bit childish aren't you ...Remember a, b,c ...
I'm thinking about you ...etc".

Bet if op got involved he'd have pulled similar in her sooner or later.

*reinvolved