Dumped by text
user1471427667 · 20/01/2020 12:30
Bf of 2 years sent me this text in the early hours of this morning.
“Hey I’ve been thinking about us and it’s just not working out so best to end it. No need to reply. All the best”
I feel absolutely blindsided. Didn’t see this coming at all. Aside from the shock of it, I feel so dismissed that he put “no need to reply” as if he I don’t have a say in it ( well I know I don’t but the urge is to try and talk about what he feels is wrong)
Should I ignore what he said and try and contact him to find out what’s wrong and try and work it through or at least end it amicably? Or just accept it somehow and not reply.
I feel as if someone has punched me in the stomach and everything I thought was real just isn’t.
Please help me retain some dignity and tell me best way to reply or not.
user3575796673 · 20/01/2020 12:33
Ouch. What a dick.
I would block and focus on taking care of yourself.
WishICouldThinkOfAGoodName · 20/01/2020 12:33
Personally I’d leave it and not reply. He’s made his mind up, fuck him. I know it’s shit but maintain your dignity.
Ralphie86 · 20/01/2020 12:37
What an arse!
It much depends on whether or not you feel that you need closure. I know I would. Given that he’s done this in such a cowardly way, it’s unlikely that he’ll be truthful.
I spent months trying to work out why my fiancé had ended things with me just after we’d bought a place together. Things unravelled by themselves months later. I kick myself many years later for the time I wasted wondering what I’d done. Truth was, I hadn’t done anything wrong, he’d found someone he liked more but didn’t have the bollocks to be honest.
bangheadhere40 · 20/01/2020 12:37
wow that is horrible, no wonder you feel awful!
I think it's best to leave it, but that is so mean and cruel, horrible when people show their true colours, and you never thought they could be like that.
hellsbellsmelons · 20/01/2020 12:38
I'd probably just text back.
'You cowardly fucking asshole! Your lack of respect is astounding. I hope you get knob rot and it falls off you fucking bell end. I am going to assume I need to get myself an STI check. Thanks for that!!!'
And yes, I really would!
NewbieSM · 20/01/2020 12:39
I wouldn't reply, don't give him the satisfaction of witnessing your distress. Block and move forward, any man who thinks that's an acceptable way to end a 2 year relationship isn't worth you time x
DioneTheDiabolist · 20/01/2020 12:40
Are you sure he sent it OP?
MissHx · 20/01/2020 12:42
Ouch! My ex bf of nearly 4 years left me a letter on the stairs to say he was leaving, he’d taken all his stuff while I was out at work! We had a mortgage etc together.
I never understood at the time why he did it like that, but now I feel like I had a lucky escape.
From the outside looking in I’d say don’t text him, but I know how hard it is when you want closure.
TiredofthisBS · 20/01/2020 12:43
Personally I would text back but I would be cold as ice.
Something along the lines of 'Thank you for your message. Kindly return (anything that belongs to you) and delete all pictures of me that you have on social media. I wish you all the best for the future.
It's a really shitty thing to do to you OP xx
user1471427667 · 20/01/2020 12:44
Thank you user and Wish ( sorry, don’t know how to highlight your names).
I think you are right and that is certainly the most dignified response but I wonder if I’ll ever come to terms with it if I don’t at least ask why, even though that sounds so pathetic☹️
I can’t believe he would do this in such a way. I wonder if he will contact me sometime down the line and explain things a bit or if this short, cold text is it. I’m in my thirties and have had a few long term relationships. They have always ended fairly amicably and respectfully.
I HATE the fact that he added no need to reply because now even ignoring text seems like I’m just doing what he wants, making it easier for him iyswim?
Sorry, not making much sense. Keep checking my phone every 5 mins like a love sick teen!
Lobsterquadrille2 · 20/01/2020 12:45
Bastard. I'd text back "Agreed. Take care". And then block.
Hope you are as ok as you can be.
Dozer · 20/01/2020 12:45
A text is a shit way to end a two year relationship. I’d probably respond just to say that!
HollyBollyBooBoo · 20/01/2020 12:45
Lowest of the low to dump someone like that. He's being a completely immature coward by asking you not to respond - he doesn't want to deal with it.
I personally would not respond as I think that will spook him - he'll be expecting you to text.
Focus on yourself. Chuck his stuff in the bin/charity shop.
TwentyViginti · 20/01/2020 12:46
Fucking hell! what a cowardly twat!
I'd text back "lol" and nothing else.
I hope you have friends and family for support? We'll support you too!
I expect he's with someone else, but daren't tell you. Maybe OW forced him to send the text to end things.
purpledingyoverboard · 20/01/2020 12:47
How serious were you? Did you see one another a lot?
2020BetterBeBetter · 20/01/2020 12:48
I wouldn’t reply to it. However, I’d also question if he sent it - any chance he is seeing someone else who is effectively getting rid of the competition? You’ll undoubtedly hear from him soon if that is the case.
keepingbees · 20/01/2020 12:49
That's horrible what a twat.
I'd be inclined to reply " Hey, I was thinking the same thing! Don't you love it when the trash takes itself out. All the best."
Smurfie12 · 20/01/2020 12:49
I would reply with "that's a shame as I won a huge massive amount of money at the weekend and was booking us an amazing holiday (to a place you know he wants to go) all expenses paid as a surprise, but I can always take a friend" thanks for letting me know !
Hope you manage to feel better soon.
TwentyViginti · 20/01/2020 12:51
Haha keepingbees, excellent!
RaininSummer · 20/01/2020 12:52
Astoundingly rude after 2 years. Especially if you had no indication that there were problems in the relationship. I expect he has found someone else and is too cowardly to tell you.I would text back telling him that he is a rude and thoughtless pig.
TwentyViginti · 20/01/2020 12:52
PixieDustt · 20/01/2020 12:56
He wants you to reply that's why he said that!
Been there and done that. Honestly it will eat him up you haven't replied. DO NOT REPLY.
Bet he cheated that's why he is acting like a little bitch
stophuggingme · 20/01/2020 12:57
That’s quite an extraordinarily cruel and pathetic way to end a two YEAR relationship
On the basis it was him that did it I would honestly not dignify that with any kind of written reply.
If he has anything of yours that you want back leave it a while and see if he returns them. Just put all this things in a bag do not throw them out it makes you look angry which even if you are you don’t want him to know
I’m sorry that is a really awful way to be treated
OdeToDiazepam · 20/01/2020 12:58
Grobagsforever · 20/01/2020 12:58
Don't respond. Keep your dignity. You'll feel SO much better that you did.
My boyfriend of two years broke up with me in a pub (later found out he'd met someone else on holiday). I thanked him for ending a relationship that was clearly dying, deleted all his texts and number in front of him, asked him never to contact me or bother returning my stuff, hugged him, wished him well and went home. No further contact even though I was DESPERATELY hurt. I was completely calm and acted like he was doing me a favour.
To this day, I'm so glad I did. That was two years ago, been seeing someone who makes me so much happier for the last year.
You can do this OP.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.