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Original poster

Dcs dad wants to "camp" on my drive for 3 weeks in Jan 🤯

295 replies

Haveagentlechristmas · 28/12/2022 14:23

The ex has just decided to hit the early retirement button (he's 57). I do suspect one of the motivations is to stop paying child support (which he was only paying a fraction of anyway).

5 years ago I moved 70 miles away so I could start a new life away from him and his weird ways, just me and the kids. We have our own routine going.

It's been hard but worth it. Though I don't have much help in the new place (relevant).

Ex has unilaterally decided that he plans to "camp in his campervan" in January to "help" with the children and to see more of them. I'm not up for this. Though I would like more help, I will find this irritating I think. I'm not sure the neighbours will want him there peeing in the bushes in the morning!

I would like to have some kind of shared care agreement, but not this!

What the fuck can I tell him!

OP posts:
Original poster
Haveagentlechristmas · 28/12/2022 14:24

Just for context when I also asked for some specific help on specific dates where I have to be away for work in March and April he said he couldn't commit 🙄

OP posts:
Blanca87 · 28/12/2022 14:25

Just say no, you can’t commit

Paq · 28/12/2022 14:25

Just say no! He'll end up in your house all day every day.

isthismylifenow · 28/12/2022 14:26

How often had he seen the DC in these 5 years?

DelphiniumBlue · 28/12/2022 14:26

Tell him no. It's probably against the lease/house covenants anyway, drives are not for living on, and you don't have to have him on yours.

Original poster
Haveagentlechristmas · 28/12/2022 14:26

Just say no, you can’t commit 😂

Nice idea. Playing him at his own game. But what if he literally turns up, it could get ugly.

OP posts:
chevvyroo · 28/12/2022 14:27

Blanca87 · 28/12/2022 14:25

Just say no, you can’t commit

This. And make sure there is a load of crap blocking your driveway.

Original poster
Haveagentlechristmas · 28/12/2022 14:27

Just say no! He'll end up in your house all day every day.

Exactly. Using my shower, watching Netflix in my chair, cooking in my kitchen. Noooooo!

OP posts:
Anotherbloomingchristmas · 28/12/2022 14:28

Haveagentlechristmas · 28/12/2022 14:26

Just say no, you can’t commit 😂

Nice idea. Playing him at his own game. But what if he literally turns up, it could get ugly.

Then you call the police.

ThanosSnap · 28/12/2022 14:28

Just say no that won't work, you don't give him permission to do that.
if he ignores you turns up and camps on your drive tell him you're going to call the police, then follow through.

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 28/12/2022 14:28

Ask him for the name of the campsite/caravan park he'll be staying in.

FuntCase · 28/12/2022 14:29

isthismylifenow · 28/12/2022 14:26

How often had he seen the DC in these 5 years?

One would hope OP has been transporting the children to see the father (or at least half way) since she made the decision to move far away from him and altered the relationship negatively for her children.

It’s pretty easy to say no, you’re not welcome on my property. But if he chooses to camp elsewhere will you allow him to see his children? Doesn’t sound like it.

Original poster
Haveagentlechristmas · 28/12/2022 14:29

Tell him no. It's probably against the lease/house covenants anyway, drives are not for living on, and you don't have to have him on yours.

He won't care about that. He's not a rule follower.

Just say no! He'll end up in your house all day every day.

Quite regularly. But usually when I drive them to his.

OP posts:
FictionalCharacter · 28/12/2022 14:29

Tell him no, block the drive and if he literally turns up, send him away. So what if it gets ugly. Are you afraid he’ll get violent?

WhatIsThisPlease · 28/12/2022 14:29

Is it a coincidence that he wants to camp on your driveway for arguably the coldest month of the year?

He'll be living in your house within days!! Tell him to do one.

Original poster
Haveagentlechristmas · 28/12/2022 14:34

Are you afraid he’ll get violent?

No, but he may make a scene. And upset the kids. They won't understand why mean mum is sending dad away.

OP posts:
bevelino · 28/12/2022 14:34

OP, check out lockable bollards for driveways on Amazon.

Original poster
Haveagentlechristmas · 28/12/2022 14:37

One would hope OP has been transporting the children to see the father (or at least half way) since she made the decision to move far away from him and altered the relationship negatively for her children

I do transport them to his regularly actually.

Also. I think I improved things for them by not having to witness a toxic relationship all the time.

OP posts:
EL8888 · 28/12/2022 14:37

WhatIsThisPlease · 28/12/2022 14:29

Is it a coincidence that he wants to camp on your driveway for arguably the coldest month of the year?

He'll be living in your house within days!! Tell him to do one.

This went through my mind as well…. “Forecast says it’s going to really cold the next few nights, can l stay in the house for a few nights”. Before you know it then he’s installed in the house; either on the sofa or replacing a child from their bedroom. In reality being a cocklodger and making lots of mess. Doing little or no “help” with children

Original poster
Haveagentlechristmas · 28/12/2022 14:38

OP, check out lockable bollards for driveways on Amazon.

There is a little private car park next to my house for the residents of our cup de sac. Its quite hidden and I think he wants to camp that.

OP posts:
shreddies · 28/12/2022 14:40

Well won't your neighbours have something to say about that?

onmywayamarillo · 28/12/2022 14:40

Just tell him no and he's not allowed to park in your parking area for more than a few hours! It's in the lease, he'll probably want electric hookup too.

Itschristmastimeinthecity · 28/12/2022 14:40

shreddies · 28/12/2022 14:40

Well won't your neighbours have something to say about that?

Was wondering the same?
Surely it isn't just your decision?

PearlclutchersInc · 28/12/2022 14:43

Haveagentlechristmas · 28/12/2022 14:23

The ex has just decided to hit the early retirement button (he's 57). I do suspect one of the motivations is to stop paying child support (which he was only paying a fraction of anyway).

5 years ago I moved 70 miles away so I could start a new life away from him and his weird ways, just me and the kids. We have our own routine going.

It's been hard but worth it. Though I don't have much help in the new place (relevant).

Ex has unilaterally decided that he plans to "camp in his campervan" in January to "help" with the children and to see more of them. I'm not up for this. Though I would like more help, I will find this irritating I think. I'm not sure the neighbours will want him there peeing in the bushes in the morning!

I would like to have some kind of shared care agreement, but not this!

What the fuck can I tell him!

No??

Presumably you separated for a reason, remind him of it and flatly refuse. Do not get involved in a debate. Just NO!

gamerchick · 28/12/2022 14:44

You tell him not a chance in hell and I'd he attempts it you'll be ringing the police and having him removed and stick to it. Far better a short term upset than a long term cocklodger youncamt get rid of.