Dcs dad wants to "camp" on my drive for 3 weeks in Jan 🤯

[Haveagentlechristmas]

The ex has just decided to hit the early retirement button (he's 57). I do suspect one of the motivations is to stop paying child support (which he was only paying a fraction of anyway).

5 years ago I moved 70 miles away so I could start a new life away from him and his weird ways, just me and the kids. We have our own routine going.

It's been hard but worth it. Though I don't have much help in the new place (relevant).

Ex has unilaterally decided that he plans to "camp in his campervan" in January to "help" with the children and to see more of them. I'm not up for this. Though I would like more help, I will find this irritating I think. I'm not sure the neighbours will want him there peeing in the bushes in the morning!

I would like to have some kind of shared care agreement, but not this!

What the fuck can I tell him!

I suspect @DifficultBloodyWoman is tongue in cheek, but don’t do this. (A) it would muddy the waters if he does pay but you want to take action to get him gone and (B) I’m fairly sure that JustPark etc do not cover people living in a parking space.

Why would OP want to open herself to legitimising his wish to squat in her new life away from him?

OP I totally get where you're at at the moment. I too have the dead beat early retirement ex. All I can suggest is that you have a chat with the police and see if they have any suggestions. You don't need to call them out just drop by the station. Secondly talk to the solicitor who handled your divorce/separation and thirdly get any reinforcements (friends and family) you can to be around you. I'd also take a trip to see whats going on with his house? See if anyone is living in it, listed on airbnb? has it been sold? It might give you a clue as to why he's on your doorstep. Most of all don't give up.

@FlatOutLizzardDrinking solidarity. Does he pay you any maintenance?

@picklemewalnuts love your ideas of making a joke out of it too 😂

No and wants nothing to do with his profoundly disabled son.
I really don't want to derail this thread.
Just make sure you find your own way of standing up to your ex.

@Haveagentlechristmas is he still there? Have you told him no, you can’t park on my drive and you can have the kids as per any agreed contact arrangement JUST NOT IN MY HOUSE! oh and please pay maintenance or this is null and void.

How’s it going now OP?

@teaandtoast I'm reluctant to update because of a minority of posters who will use it as an opportunity to slag me off! Shame but I don't need that extra hassle at the moment.

Good luck, OP.

@SheilaFentiman thank you.

i get it @Haveagentlechristmas i wish you well and if you need a chat I’m always happy to listen

Dig in OP. Good Luck

People don't mean to upset you with their posts @Haveagentlechristmas . The thing is if you read a lot of posts on MN you get the rough with the smooth but most people really do want to help. I'd hate to think you'll end up with a real problem with your ex

It's such a shame isn't it? Some really seem to be along the lines of "Do what I say NOW, otherwise you're ruining your own and your children's lives" 🙄🙄 Makes you wonder what those same posters would say if anyone said their partner had been speaking to them that way!
Reading your posts, I felt that this could really be handled various ways and none of us has a crystal ball to know for sure which is best. The nuclear option of calling the police might impact your relationship with the children, for instance. It would be too dramatic for me - I'd prefer diplomacy, but we all differ in how much confrontation we think is worth having.
Good luck, and if you feel able to update in a "state your facts and don't argue with the haters" way, please do .

@Haveagentlechristmas

I agree with PPs that sometimes you have to sift the not-so-nice chaff to get to the wheat of some good suggestions.

If anything I've said upset you, I'm truly sorry and I apologize for it. But I do stand by my suggestions to make his 'stay' in your driveway as UNcomfortable as you possibly can.

Nobody’s trying to slag you off; just wake you up a bit to stop being a mug. Why even let him in your house?

He’s riding absolute roughshod over your boundaries. His lack of respect is astonishing. I really hope you dig deep and tell the weird twat to fuck off.

Hopefully he is gone op and you and the kids are doing well.

If you are still reading, I hope you managed to get a peaceful resolution.
Ex's are the worst!