Partner accused of sexual abuse

[Anonuser456]

my partner has allegations of sexual abuse on his DBS in the “other” section so it only shows up on an enhanced check. I found out he has these allegations when he applied for a job a while back and was rejected due to his DBS. I found out he has 3 allegations of sexual abuse; one threatening revenge porn, one sexual assault by touching without consent, and the third was sexual interactions with an underage girl. He denies all allegations stating that the girls were all lying and had just tried to ruin his life. The allegations didn’t go further, all 3 dropped charges instead of going to court, he hasn’t been prosecuted hence why it only shows up on an enhanced check. He is also barred from working with children.

recently, the underage girl who reported him to the police got in touch with me via social media. She said she wanted to let me know that my partner sexually abused her when she was young. He was early 20’s and she was 12-13. She said there were several encounters of touching her and performing oral and obviously she was too young to consent. I showed my partner the messages and he denies it saying she is trying to ruin our relationship. He knows the girl and says she is the younger sister of the girl he once dated. He tells me to block and ignore it as it is untrue but won’t engage in a telephone conversation with the girl to discuss why she would make these false allegations.

Are they all liars because I’m starting to feel suspicious? he seems somewhat uncomfortable when discussing this and something tells me that he is lying to me as he doesn’t wish to confront the so called false accusations with the girl and would rather me just block.

I have never had any issues of sexual nature with him. He has always been respectful in that regard. However he has been physically abusive e.g. throwing things during arguments, hitting me during arguments (but not with excess force), punching walls doors furniture etc

Would you believe his word over theirs? What would you do in my situation if it was your DP, would you investigate further about the girl who’s come forward to me or block her as he says? Would you stay in a relationship with him?

note: these are all historical allegations way before we got together, around 7+ years ago these were reported and nothing since

3 desperate women have made allegations, he’s physically abusive, why havent you left? I’d believe the girls

Hes already hit you…….. leave.

If three separate people are saying it you definitely should be listening

Oh shit I missed that he hit you

Forget about stressing about whether these women are telling rhe truth or not it's irrelevant, he's abusing you you need to leave

He seems to be the common denominator and is abusive… leave obviously

I’d run

Leave, he's hit you, that's enough.

3 women are not making it up. Plus he's shown you he's also violent. Leave him asap

He's an abuser, it's that simple really. Please get away from him.

He sounds like a lunatic punching walls. Surely you don’t believe 3 separate women are making these things up.

I wonder if you ever want children in the future? It seems very unlikely you would be allowed to make a family with this man, even if he is perfect and everyone is lying!

he sounds like a very bad egg, 3 different accusations of sexual misconduct and he’s been aggressive towards you?

Are you aware of just how few accusations like this ever actually make it to court, and why? The CPS and the police tend to back off because they aren't easy to prove, and the women and girls can't face the thought of having to go to court - not because they didn't happen.

You have avoided the use of the word 'paedophile' I notice. Why?

Get the fuck out of there

What on earth are you talking about? There's not a chance in hell he is innocent.

You need to leave. He is physically abusive. He is almost certainly a sex offender - the chances of 3 separate women making malicious allegations are almost zero.

OP, read your post back and imagine it'd your best friend writing it.

What would you think?

What questions might you have about the situation?

He's so unlucky that he's come across three women who were not only motivated enough to lie about him sexually abusing him, they all had different complaints and they all managed to get the police to take them so seriously its still showing up on the checks?

Please tell me you don’t have children that he has access to.

There's no smoke without fire.

You really need to work on your self respect. If you don't value your worth, how can you expect anyone else to.

Three allegations cannot be explained away as people trying to get at him. Why would this girl want to ruin him? It’s more likely to be true than false.

Fucking hell! How many more red flags do you need?

3 separate women are lying.... really?

And he's hit you?

Why are you still with him?

No they aren't lying and this alone:
"However he has been physically abusive e.g. throwing things during arguments, hitting me during arguments (but not with excess force), punching walls doors furniture etc"
Means you should have left already. He is a person who forces his power over women and thinks that's OK!
No one is ever ever allowed to hit you ever. Please don't let that happen again.

He is abusive punching you and the walls. 3 separate women have been abused by him and taken it to the police. There are probably more who haven't taken it to the police. I can't believe you are posting here. Leave him and do the freedom program.

A true Prince among men.

Ltb.

No, they're not all liars. You're in a relationship with a violent child abuser.