DS 18 in relationship with 31 year old woman

[Shionne]

I have an 18 year old DS who has been romantically linvolved with a 31 year old woman for approximately 2 months. I say involved as at this point, I am unsure what the exact situation is between them. I don't know if it's a fling or a fully-fledged relationship. As you can imagine by the fact that I'm posting about it, I'm a bit dismayed about it. I appreciate that at 18 he can see and have sex with whoever he likes, but I'm concerned about the massive difference in maturity and life experience between them. He has been to her house a couple of times. After the most recent visit, he returned home smiling from ear to ear with a spring in his step. I do not think it would take a significant leap of imagination to assume he wasn't sleeping on her couch, if you see what I mean.

My husband views the situation differently. He thinks I am overreacting and should just leave it. He thinks it's fine and there is nothing to worry about. If I was to meet this woman, I would want to know what her motivations are, does she perceive DS as her boyfriend, and whether she normally goes for much younger men. It would be a bit of a grilling. What would you do, if anything? Shall I just keep quiet and be prepared to pick up the pieces if and when it goes belly up?

GelPens1 · 15/12/2022 09:49
@Shionne tell him that he needs to wear a condom every time he has sex. He can’t rely on the woman to be honest about taking hormonal contraception. I’d be concerned she might be hoping to ‘accidentally’ fall pregnant with a fit young man. I’m in my mid-20s and view 18 year olds as children. Many 30 year olds are thinking of their career and/or babies. 18 year olds only just left school.

This. I knew a woman who was early 30s and took up with an 18/19 year old. Then ‘accidentally’ got pregnant. She wanted a baby but did not want a man to have any involvement in the child’s life. Emigrated later. Tell him to always wear a condom.

Thing is, it’s struck so many nerves, even yours, so yeah if the boot fits, you can wear it hun 😉
If I was concerned about what others thought of my relationship, I wouldn’t still be here 22 years later. I find it amusing that divorcees think they can give relationship advice to someone who has one baby daddy and a 20plus year relationship under her belt ☺️😂😂 I mean you do you but don’t get all tetchy when someone laughs at you 😉

But not everyone who thinks a 17 year old with a 30 year old being all kinds of wrong are divorced with multiple 'baby daddies' (not that that has a single thing to do with anything). I'd be very worried if my son or daughter at 17 was with someone who was 30.

Some amount of weirdos on this thread

None of us know for sure, but I think it is highly unlikely that OP's son is being exploited. It is reassuring that OP's DH, who has been an 18 year old man unlike many of the womansplainers on this thread, is unconcerned.

Far more likely he is getting exactly what he wants and when he is 50, 60,70 and let's hope 80 & 90, he will look back on this fling as a wonderful, exuberant, life-affirming time.

ZOMBIE THREAD

I k ow it's a zombie thread but wondering OP if it all worked out ok & fizzled out with no real harm done ? @LeandraDear