Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Women flirt with my DH infront of me

183 replies

Eyeeyeeyeeye · 05/12/2022 14:18

I find it so odd but they actively flirt with my DH infront of me. It goes completely over DH’s head, he’d a good looking guy and approachable, we was out for a rare night out on Saturday and with us mid conversation a few women would come over and compliment his shirt, say how familiar looking he is, asking if they know him etc..

He definitely doesn’t play away, faithful as an old sheepdog 😅, it’s all infront of me so nothing untoward, he doesn’t act sheepish and is an open book. I don’t get pissed off about it, infact I don’t say a word, just watch the conversation unfold smiling away 😂

But isn’t it odd?! I wouldn’t and have never gone over to a guy clearly out with another woman (we both have clear wedding rings on, touchy feely and snogging each other’s faces off most of the night) and start a conversation.

Has anyone else experienced this?

It had been so long since we’d had a night out together I’d forgotten that it happens 😆

OP posts:
StormBaby · 05/12/2022 17:22

Happens to my DH, he’s oblivious to it as doesn’t think he’s good looking at all. He definitely is! I’ve found it’s the slightly older woman usually. We got chased down the street once by a woman who asked if we were married, I said not yet, and she said I’d best snap him up quick or she’d have him.

birder · 05/12/2022 17:22

I really want to know what 'heavy petting' involves. I'm in need of a new hobby.

KettrickenSmiled · 05/12/2022 17:24

otherwayup · 05/12/2022 16:31

I currently have this problem with a gay male friend.
We socialise a lot with him (as part of a big friendship group) and he's clearly got the hots for dh.

Once he's had a few drinks he almost corners dh and becomes very touchy feely with him.
It bugs me and makes dh feel very uncomfortable!

Do either of you say anything about it?

Or just do the British Thing of seething silently & wishing the awkwardness would magically go away?

Because if you don't say anything or do anything, your mate is going to keep doing exactly what he always does ...

KettrickenSmiled · 05/12/2022 17:27

Eyeeyeeyeeye · 05/12/2022 16:28

@KettrickenSmiled i havnt had a chat with a doorman? 😆 I think you’ve confused me with a pp maybe?

I must have! So sorry OP - am obviously confusing you with someone else, who posted that her partner was arsey about her having a chat with a doorman, but has double standards about the random women HE chats to ...

Apologies to Mr Eyeeyeeyeeye Blush

KettrickenSmiled · 05/12/2022 17:28

birder · 05/12/2022 17:22

I really want to know what 'heavy petting' involves. I'm in need of a new hobby.

iirc, it is not allowed in public swimming pools.
Neither is diving, not sure if the 2 are related ...?

PrincessConstance · 05/12/2022 17:29

KettrickenSmiled · 05/12/2022 16:26

I suppose you could use exactly the words he used to tick you off for chatting to the doorman?

Show quote history

It was me.
I just got embroiled in a longish convo about nonsense it wasn't explicit flirting. Dp, wasn't annoyed, to begin with, he only mentioned it when I went into the corridor looking for the toilet back at the hotel.
He said he'd had enough of me that night. I was pretty drunk.😂

Autumnmoonshines · 05/12/2022 17:31

I should think on that occasion, due to the snogging and heavy petting going on, perhaps these women were having a bit of a laugh at the bar and approached you as they’d been joking about what you both looked like being all OTT lovey dovey in public?

Autumnmoonshines · 05/12/2022 17:33

@KettrickenSmiled i think you mean Heavy Petting and Bombing (rather than diving) in the pool not allowed 🤣

LimitIsUp · 05/12/2022 17:37

Eyeeyeeyeeye · 05/12/2022 16:47

@LimitIsUp 😂👍🏻 You both sound like you need a good public snog all out in the open.. tongues the lot!

You don’t know what you’re missing 😉

I am having an attack of the vapours!

KettrickenSmiled · 05/12/2022 17:41

Autumnmoonshines · 05/12/2022 17:33

@KettrickenSmiled i think you mean Heavy Petting and Bombing (rather than diving) in the pool not allowed 🤣

Yes! Yes I do @Autumnmoonshines !

You are bringing at all back ...

KettrickenSmiled · 05/12/2022 17:42

PrincessConstance · 05/12/2022 17:29

It was me.
I just got embroiled in a longish convo about nonsense it wasn't explicit flirting. Dp, wasn't annoyed, to begin with, he only mentioned it when I went into the corridor looking for the toilet back at the hotel.
He said he'd had enough of me that night. I was pretty drunk.😂

Show quote history

You are naughty. @PrincessConstance !

Thanks for clearing up my confusion :)

Bestcatmum · 05/12/2022 17:45

Eyeeyeeyeeye · 05/12/2022 16:27

@Bestcatmum how did you deal with it with the hubby? Did you say anything or move on like me? It’s a fine line pointing out someone else flirting with your OH when they’re not really shutting it down but also not flirting back isn’t it?

I used to have a quiet and word with them and tell them to pack it in and give them an evil look. I'm not evil but have perfected the psycho look 😂

PrincessConstance · 05/12/2022 17:53

KettrickenSmiled · 05/12/2022 17:42

You are naughty. @PrincessConstance !

Thanks for clearing up my confusion :)

Show quote history

About 9 months in we went to stop in the Lakes hotel and spa. Whilst having a few drinks I asked him why he was looking over my shoulder at the couple and the woman. He claimed she was in his eye line, I did catch her smiling at him when I came back from the toilet.
He is a bit nosey, always commenting on couples out together who are on their phones.

monicagellerbing · 05/12/2022 17:55

I'm fine thanks @Eyeeyeeyeeye you're the one who finds 'heavy petting' in public acceptable. You mention you're 20 years younger than your oh so attractive DH. Are you 16 and he's 36?

name985 · 05/12/2022 18:00

Is this acceptable!? In public? Touching genitals???

Confused
Women flirt with my DH infront of me
GreyCarpet · 05/12/2022 18:09

Women do it with my boyfriend too. With him, it's more to do with his distinctive image/style.

The last time we went out, he was chatting to someone at the bar as he normally would but when he went to lave, she blocked him from leaving (bar was quite crowded to few options) and started stroking his hair! He looked at me with his eye brows raised and mouthed 'help me' which we both do when receiving unwanted attention as a bit of a joke. I was right by him at this point and spoke to her myself but she completely ignored me and went to kiss him in front of me!

He moved and she ended up kissing his cheek.

It's not the first time it's happened. Women, in my experience, are far more brazen about flirting than men. Most men seem to have got the message about being sex pests and, will leave you alone, if its obvious youre not interested. Women tend to be more physical and seem to assume their advances will be welcomed. I've never had a man try and kiss me as I walked away from him!

JamesLincs · 05/12/2022 18:10

I'm kind of a good looking fella 36yo and i've never had any of the scenarios.

I get looks, smiles and if i talk to a woman she'll make it obvious, but I've never been approached by a stranger

maybe I'm not as fit as I thought 😅

YaWeeFurryBastard · 05/12/2022 18:17

Ethelfromnumber73 · 05/12/2022 16:57

Mmmm public 'heavy petting'. They probably think you're swingers OP Grin

You beat me to it 😂. It’s either that or they’re taking the piss because you’re being so cringingly over the top in public.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 05/12/2022 18:30

There’s no use getting, into heavy petting.
It only leads to trouble and, seat wetting…

CarefreeMe · 05/12/2022 18:37

she also said “we’ve been watching you for ages and just wanted to come over to say how amazing your shirt is on you, where is it from?” he then answers.”You look amazing in it! Can I get a high five for how fit you look in this shirt?!” 😂 He high fives said woman and off she slopes looking back at me

I wouldn’t say that flirting.

I would have just said that was being friendly and I’ve 100% said to a guy that I like something he’s wearing.

I definitely compliment women more than men but just the other day I saw a couple and told the man that I really like his shoes 😳😳 I wasn’t even drunk.

I’ve also high fived more people than I can count, especially on a night out.

SallyWD · 05/12/2022 18:41

CarefreeMe · 05/12/2022 18:37

she also said “we’ve been watching you for ages and just wanted to come over to say how amazing your shirt is on you, where is it from?” he then answers.”You look amazing in it! Can I get a high five for how fit you look in this shirt?!” 😂 He high fives said woman and off she slopes looking back at me

I wouldn’t say that flirting.

I would have just said that was being friendly and I’ve 100% said to a guy that I like something he’s wearing.

I definitely compliment women more than men but just the other day I saw a couple and told the man that I really like his shoes 😳😳 I wasn’t even drunk.

I’ve also high fived more people than I can count, especially on a night out.

Of course it's flirting! They said they'd been watching him for ages and how fit he looked! If that's not flirting I don't know what is.

C1N1C · 05/12/2022 18:45

My ex girlfriend at the time flirted with my dad... he ran off and told my mum like a proud puppy dog! Nice ego boost for a man in his 60s 😁

name985 · 05/12/2022 18:47

AmazingBouncingFerret · 05/12/2022 18:30

There’s no use getting, into heavy petting.
It only leads to trouble and, seat wetting…

Toucha, toucha, toucha, touch me,
I wanna be dirty,
thrill me, chill me, fullfill me,
Creature of the night

RedHelenB · 05/12/2022 18:55

Eyeeyeeyeeye · 05/12/2022 14:29

😂 we’re definitely not famous!

Seriously, it happens often. One actually high fived my DH for how good he looked 😬 I wouldn’t dare!

We’re well matched and I’m just short of 20 years younger 😉 it’s women of all ages that do it.

No, I might get the eye off men but they’re never bold enough to come over, I think I’d shit my pants if a guy came and flirted with me now, especially infront of the hubby 🥲

Maybe if you're 20 years younger then they assume you're his daughter?

RedHelenB · 05/12/2022 18:59

monicagellerbing · 05/12/2022 16:40

You were 'heavy petting' and snogging in front of people? How grim. You sound a bit ridiculous OP

This. He must be a minimum of 40 years old so hardly the good-looking heart throb that OP is portraying. I think a lot of it might be in OPs head, they admired his shirt not his body.

Swipe left for the next trending thread