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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Women flirt with my DH infront of me

183 replies

Eyeeyeeyeeye · 05/12/2022 14:18

I find it so odd but they actively flirt with my DH infront of me. It goes completely over DH’s head, he’d a good looking guy and approachable, we was out for a rare night out on Saturday and with us mid conversation a few women would come over and compliment his shirt, say how familiar looking he is, asking if they know him etc..

He definitely doesn’t play away, faithful as an old sheepdog 😅, it’s all infront of me so nothing untoward, he doesn’t act sheepish and is an open book. I don’t get pissed off about it, infact I don’t say a word, just watch the conversation unfold smiling away 😂

But isn’t it odd?! I wouldn’t and have never gone over to a guy clearly out with another woman (we both have clear wedding rings on, touchy feely and snogging each other’s faces off most of the night) and start a conversation.

Has anyone else experienced this?

It had been so long since we’d had a night out together I’d forgotten that it happens 😆

OP posts:
otherwayup · 05/12/2022 19:04

@Eyeeyeeyeeye and @KettrickenSmiled

It's tricky, he's going through a bad patch, long term single etc
Dh is good looking but also extremely friendly/sweet and I think after a few drinks our friend finds dh easier to talk to than some of my friends more alpha male type husbands!

Dh has pulled him up on it as he has a tendency to touch his arm and leg a lot and dh has been very firm that he won't tolerate it.
Dh also very openly sweet about me, talks about me with great affection etc but our friend doesn't seem to be put off by this!

He's recently started to date again so we're hoping he finds someone and then the whole dh crush can disappear (hopefully!)

Tipsyturvychocolatemonster · 05/12/2022 19:07

I’ve never seen anything like this it’s so odd indeed it not only happens to your husband but your parents as well, people were drooling over them,

im sure no exaggeration here so I’d say what a cool story bro

Cheerupmaggi · 05/12/2022 19:13

Sounds like she was doing a dare on a hen do. Find a couple and go over and give him a high five for being fit. Hence the side look at you to see how you took it. Either that or she was just pissed!

mumofthemonsters808 · 05/12/2022 19:28

Here we go again, so many Females on MN have drop dead gorgeous Husbands who other women just can’t keep away from. I bet my bottom dollar it’s in your head and when other women act friendly towards him (a smile, a casual comment, a look) iit gives you a little buzz that he is yours.

HandsomeDaughter · 05/12/2022 20:51

I have seen men AND women with their partners right there getting approached and flirted with. People assumed they weren't a couple because of large age gaps or other factors. If you look like an unusual couple people might not automatically put you two together.
The weird thing is that you say they saw you kissing so my next explanation would be that they were drunk. Drunk people can go over the top with the lack of boundaries and compliment, blank and say rude things. It would be more interesting if it happened where no alcohol was involved and all were sober.

Eyeeyeeyeeye · 05/12/2022 22:47

@HandsomeDaughter youre so right with the alcohol thing. I’m not a big drinker but these women had clearly had a good few drinks, as had my husband so boundaries were lower I guess.

When we go out as a family he gets the odd look off women but never flirted with or anything like he does on a night out.. interesting.

OP posts:
ImustLearn2Cook · 05/12/2022 23:50

I’m in a different time zone so I went to bed shortly after posting on page one.

Interesting how this lighthearted thread has attracted some very uptight pp taking issue with pda on a night out.

Omg. The type of pda I’ve seen when on a night out where some people look like they’re about to shag each other would have some pp completely mortified. 😂

Luredbyapomegranate · 06/12/2022 00:15

Eyeeyeeyeeye · 05/12/2022 16:15

We was sat at the bar for around 30 minutes when the ‘high five’ incident happened.. heavily petting, snogging, holding hands, we definitely didn’t look like friends or family members 😅 she also said “we’ve been watching you for ages and just wanted to come over to say how amazing your shirt is on you, where is it from?” he then answers.”You look amazing in it! Can I get a high five for how fit you look in this shirt?!” 😂 He high fives said woman and off she slopes looking back at me 😏

I definitely don’t snog my dad or go on nights out alone with him.. infact I’d find that more odd 😫😅

Right.. that sounds attractive all round.

Tuilpmouse · 06/12/2022 08:04

OP - I remember being in places where snogging and "heavy petting" were a thing way back in the early 00s, and doing it myself. They were all loud clubs / city centre bars after 11 at night with everyone pissed up, inhibitions low and people behaving in ways they'd be horrified of when they wake up with a hangover the next day.... If you want to go to these places then you shouldn't be surprised at this - it means nothing!

Longestnight · 06/12/2022 08:51

I’ve never seen this with a boyfriend or male friend even but then maybe I don’t mix with particularly good looking men (I don’t!)

ArcticSkewer · 06/12/2022 09:04

Probably just doing it to wind you up.

Palmfrond · 06/12/2022 13:53

Tipsyturvychocolatemonster · 05/12/2022 19:07

I’ve never seen anything like this it’s so odd indeed it not only happens to your husband but your parents as well, people were drooling over them,

im sure no exaggeration here so I’d say what a cool story bro

This made me lol irl.

@Eyeeyeeyeeye they are probably high fiving your dad boyfriend because they think it’s really great that old people can still go out and have fun & make a spectacle of themselves. Maybe next time bring your actual dad and his girlfriend who is the same age as you, and you can have some kind of awesome pub quizz / pin the tail on the donkey where the thirsty ladieeez try and match which older gent is “heavy petting” which significantly younger lady? Except instead of pins & tails they can do it with high fives instead!
Now that, bro, would be a cool story indeed!

Shutthegatepeter · 06/12/2022 14:32

I was accused by a very insecure woman of flirting with her boyfriend once on a night out. It was a few years ago now, I assured her I was happily married. I still am, we’ve been together over 20 years and I’m certainly not a cheater! I was just chatting to him and asking him about which tattoo artist he uses as he had some really good tattoos, and his somewhat rough looking woman took great offence and thought I wanted her 5ft bald middle aged divorcee baby daddy 😂

Criesoverspiltgin · 06/12/2022 14:45

It happens to my husband more frequently as he gets older. He is aging very well. Much better than me. He’s not that sociable though, so they’d be lucky to get a conversation out of him.

We also have a male friend who attracts men and women wherever he goes. They literally stare at him, opened mouthed, in front of their own partners! He’s completely oblivious. It’s happened since we were teens and he’s mid40s now.

TinyChancer · 06/12/2022 14:51

does your DH not say "this is my Dw [your name]", making the point that he is spoken for and they are being rude

Quinniebellie · 06/12/2022 14:54

I haven’t experienced people flirting with a partner in front of me, but have had it the other way round!! Even some of DH’s friends have flirted or said inappropriate things to me in front of him, and to him when I’m not around.

I find it very odd and would definitely never do that myself!

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 06/12/2022 14:58

a- “Ugh, I can’t concentrate sorry. There’s an old couple at the bar groping each other right behind you”
B- ”ha, I’ll get them to move. Watch this”

PorpoiseWithPurpose · 06/12/2022 15:29

Maybe they think you’re his daughter?

LaDamaDeElche · 06/12/2022 15:33

I think this happens to men probably more, with their girlfriends/wives. There’s always a creep waiting to chat them up at the bar/when the woman’s partner goes to the loo. Often it can even be a friend or colleague of the guy. It’s happened with my DP, but not as regularly as the other way round. He’s Spanish and very good looking. Me and DD went to the loo in an airport once and came back to two girls trying to chat him up. He was oblivious and thought they were just being friendly as they had really thick northern accents and he didn’t fully understand them 😂 We were also at my step sisters wedding and although it was all good natured, a few of her friends, in front of their partners, were saying how gorgeous he was and they wanted a Spanish boyfriend and did he have any friends as hot as him etc.

Goodgrief82 · 06/12/2022 15:35

Eyeeyeeyeeye · 05/12/2022 14:29

😂 we’re definitely not famous!

Seriously, it happens often. One actually high fived my DH for how good he looked 😬 I wouldn’t dare!

We’re well matched and I’m just short of 20 years younger 😉 it’s women of all ages that do it.

No, I might get the eye off men but they’re never bold enough to come over, I think I’d shit my pants if a guy came and flirted with me now, especially infront of the hubby 🥲

It happens often?

if you only go out “very rarely” in the evening, where else? Supermarkets, school gate?

Goodgrief82 · 06/12/2022 15:35

One actually high fived my DH for how good he looked

if true, she sounds unhinged

PorpoiseWithPurpose · 06/12/2022 15:36

mumofthemonsters808 · 05/12/2022 19:28

Here we go again, so many Females on MN have drop dead gorgeous Husbands who other women just can’t keep away from. I bet my bottom dollar it’s in your head and when other women act friendly towards him (a smile, a casual comment, a look) iit gives you a little buzz that he is yours.

Precisely. I’ve met and known two genuinely stunning people in my entire 40 years.

Yet somehow on MN, everyone’s husband is incredibly good looking and always gets flirted with. It’s hilarious.

Goodgrief82 · 06/12/2022 15:37

were very tactile, infact the impromptu high five meant he had to take hand off my inner thigh so..

op… he didn’t have to take his “hand off my inner thigh “ 😷. He chose to

CatherinedeBourgh · 06/12/2022 15:41

PorpoiseWithPurpose · 06/12/2022 15:36

Precisely. I’ve met and known two genuinely stunning people in my entire 40 years.

Yet somehow on MN, everyone’s husband is incredibly good looking and always gets flirted with. It’s hilarious.

Actually I wouldn't call dh drop dead gorgeous but this does happen to me too. With men as well.

One man at a gay club came up to me and asked me if that was my husband, when I answered yes, why? he said 'because I want to do him'. We had a friendly little chat about how cute dh was and he went on his way. He never really interacted with dh, but from then on whenever we saw each other at the club (we were both regulars) we were very friendly with each other.

I think that in fact men who are clearly with another woman and uninterested attract this much more. It's fun to flirt, but it's actually a bit of a pain in the arse when the target then expects sex from it, so going for someone who isn't going to follow through is a safe way to enjoy it without consequences.

Don't really see the harm, tbh.

Worldgonecrazy · 06/12/2022 15:45

I have to keep an eye out at concerts. So many women seem to think it’s okay to fondle Mr Crazy’s bottom. It’s a very cute and sexy bottom (attached to a very handsome man) and I completely understand that some women might find him very attractive, but there is no way a man would feel my bum if I was obviously with another male, yet some drunken woman think it’s okay to grope my OH.

As someone upthread said, it’s double standards.