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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Women flirt with my DH infront of me

183 replies

Eyeeyeeyeeye · 05/12/2022 14:18

I find it so odd but they actively flirt with my DH infront of me. It goes completely over DH’s head, he’d a good looking guy and approachable, we was out for a rare night out on Saturday and with us mid conversation a few women would come over and compliment his shirt, say how familiar looking he is, asking if they know him etc..

He definitely doesn’t play away, faithful as an old sheepdog 😅, it’s all infront of me so nothing untoward, he doesn’t act sheepish and is an open book. I don’t get pissed off about it, infact I don’t say a word, just watch the conversation unfold smiling away 😂

But isn’t it odd?! I wouldn’t and have never gone over to a guy clearly out with another woman (we both have clear wedding rings on, touchy feely and snogging each other’s faces off most of the night) and start a conversation.

Has anyone else experienced this?

It had been so long since we’d had a night out together I’d forgotten that it happens 😆

OP posts:
Worldgonecrazy · 07/12/2022 08:46

Maybe it’s an age thing? Though perhaps not for the OP.

I have reached that age (50s) where a large percentage of men start to resemble Homer Simpson.

IhearyouClemFandango · 07/12/2022 09:41

Palmfrond · 06/12/2022 13:53

This made me lol irl.

@Eyeeyeeyeeye they are probably high fiving your dad boyfriend because they think it’s really great that old people can still go out and have fun & make a spectacle of themselves. Maybe next time bring your actual dad and his girlfriend who is the same age as you, and you can have some kind of awesome pub quizz / pin the tail on the donkey where the thirsty ladieeez try and match which older gent is “heavy petting” which significantly younger lady? Except instead of pins & tails they can do it with high fives instead!
Now that, bro, would be a cool story indeed!

Indeed.

GratefulCheddar · 07/12/2022 12:33

We were at a University costume ball, DH is a Professor and a woman who was a PhD student was flirting outrageously with my DH, we were on the same table. I am not the jealous type but it was eyebrow raising, it went over DH head as he literally needs someone to sit on his face as so unaware.

DH is good looking but does not have a clue, he also has a very beautiful melodic speaking voice and that’s what gets them and me. He thinks women are just being friendly.

I game online and mentioned his lovely voice to a group of my male friends, they asked me to get him to speak down the mic, they all exclaimed love when they heard him.

occupationalhazard123 · 07/12/2022 13:37

I used to find this with my husband. We were together from our 20s and girls were shameless then! It never really bothered me as I knew he was not even slightly interested or flattered. He was extremely tall, handsome and easy to talk to so I could understand it. I just thought 'give it your best shot girl, he's mine'! It even happened when he was a lot older - other mums and even the nans! You have to be very confident in your man though otherwise it would be really uncomfortable I should think.

YaWeeFurryBastard · 07/12/2022 15:37

The ratio of women actually hitting on men vs women deluding themselves that other women are hitting on their partner is about 1/50 in my experience 😂

I go out a lot (and I’ve been around a good few years!) and it’s pretty rare IME to see women brazenly flirting or hitting on a man, whereas it’s really common for women to moan about other women flirting when they’re actually just being polite.

GreyCarpet · 07/12/2022 18:04

YaWeeFurryBastard · 07/12/2022 15:37

The ratio of women actually hitting on men vs women deluding themselves that other women are hitting on their partner is about 1/50 in my experience 😂

I go out a lot (and I’ve been around a good few years!) and it’s pretty rare IME to see women brazenly flirting or hitting on a man, whereas it’s really common for women to moan about other women flirting when they’re actually just being polite.

I don't know. Ud previously have agreed with you. I'd only ever once experienced a woman flirting with my boyfriend previously. When I was much younger and we were all in our early 20s. He didn't encourage it.

I've dated some good looking men but never felt any of them were flirting with him.

Yet, my current boyfriend, who I've been with for around 18 months, seems to be a magnetic for it.

I don't assume all or even most women are flirting with him but there are definitely those who do and they range in age from 30s to 50s.

He's 6', overweight, late 50s and has a mohican, so not most women's type, but we've had women flirting with him, stroking him, trying to kiss him, jiggle their boobs in his face, proposition him!! He isn't interested and is friendly but doesn't flirt. He tends to just keep eye contact with me and we exchange knowing looks and just smile. I assumed one was just being friendly so I spoke to her in a friendly way. She completely blanked me and tried to kiss him in front of me.

It usually happens when he's standing at the bar. Quite often because he'll just chat to whoever is next to him. There are obviously women who are just being friendly but some are most definitely not.

Eyeeyeeyeeye · 07/12/2022 20:46

Yes, I agree with @GreyCarpet ive also had exH and ex partners and never once experienced this with anyone I’m romantic with prior, however my DH has this clear magnet to him, right down to midwives having ‘flirty banter’ when they’re coming round to do the PP checks 😆 one genuinely showed me pictures of her recent tummy tuck and boob job and offered to show my DH then cheekily slipped in with a giggle “oh you would probably blush”, it was all very odd. Im not at all the jealous type, we’re both open books, we know our boundaries so very lucky in that respect however, others don’t know our boundaries clearly and it goes completely over DH’s head the majority of the time 😂

OP posts:
Palmfrond · 07/12/2022 21:37

@Eyeeyeeyeeye tbh everything about your posts speaks of sad wishful thinking at best, outright fantasy and/or fabrication at worst, but please, a healthcare professional was showing you pictures of her tits now? Really? Bro, your story is no longer cool.

PorpoiseWithPurpose · 07/12/2022 22:17

Eyeeyeeyeeye · 07/12/2022 20:46

Yes, I agree with @GreyCarpet ive also had exH and ex partners and never once experienced this with anyone I’m romantic with prior, however my DH has this clear magnet to him, right down to midwives having ‘flirty banter’ when they’re coming round to do the PP checks 😆 one genuinely showed me pictures of her recent tummy tuck and boob job and offered to show my DH then cheekily slipped in with a giggle “oh you would probably blush”, it was all very odd. Im not at all the jealous type, we’re both open books, we know our boundaries so very lucky in that respect however, others don’t know our boundaries clearly and it goes completely over DH’s head the majority of the time 😂

Did ye, aye?

TiAmoTiAmo · 08/12/2022 06:18

@GreyCarpet How do women jiggle their boobs in his face? If your boobs are wobbly in an unsupportive bra it happens without you trying.

U2HasTheEdge · 08/12/2022 07:31

Midwife showing off her boobs and stomach to her patient 😆

You jumped the shark there!

hourbyhour101 · 08/12/2022 07:48

I'm frequently chatted up in front of my DH, which to be honest I really dislike esp clubbing/bars. I wouldn't consider myself good looking in slightest, I think I just look friendly (This is not something I cultivate in any shape or form) My ex used to have a real issue with it and I can hardly be stunning as he cheated repeatedly (another story for another day) .Buy my DH doesn't mind, when the bloke asked me to buy him a drink he asks if he can have one too 😅

I get often asked if im Swedish which seems the opposite of all the lovely beautiful tanned brunette models in magazines (oh I would die for skin that tanned nicely).I think some people just must look more approachable than others.

That aside the people that approach me tend to be people I would actively avoid if I was single : loud, cocky. Most of the time though it goes over my head and I just assume people are being friendly.

I can't imagine approaching a man with his wife😵‍💫 I truly don't wouldn't the balls tbh

girlmom21 · 08/12/2022 07:50

I'm frequently chatted up in front of my DH, which to be honest I really dislike esp clubbing/bars.

Then shut it down.

hourbyhour101 · 08/12/2022 07:54

@girlmom21 I would if I noticed it tbh (it gets pointed out to me as I'm not there for that) usually I just introduce my husband to them. Some people do it in front of him and regardless of how I act 🤷🏼‍♀️

lovenotwar149 · 08/12/2022 07:56

I wouldn't like that situation. We both enjoy chatting to other ppl when out, men and women alike. We are often apart when in a social situation, happily talking to other ppl. In terms of flirting-I would suggest my hubby did something to actively discourage their flirting. I actively discourage flirting from other men. Married 31 yrs...both very satisfied ...very!

GreyCarpet · 08/12/2022 07:58

TiAmoTiAmo · 08/12/2022 06:18

@GreyCarpet How do women jiggle their boobs in his face? If your boobs are wobbly in an unsupportive bra it happens without you trying.

She had quite big boobs and, when he was sitting down, she put her hands underneath them and, well, 'jiggled' them whilst standing in front of him. At about face level.

TiAmoTiAmo · 08/12/2022 07:58

We find it hilarious when one of us is chatted up. I think my DH takes it as a compliment actually that his woman is so attractive. I find it amusing because the poor woman doesn't know his bad habits or what he's really like to live with.

TiAmoTiAmo · 08/12/2022 08:00

GreyCarpet · 08/12/2022 07:58

She had quite big boobs and, when he was sitting down, she put her hands underneath them and, well, 'jiggled' them whilst standing in front of him. At about face level.

So she grabbed hold of each tit in a hand from underneath and jiggled them like a stripper? wow how brazen! I'd find it gross and feel sorry for her. Not all men care for big tits.

TiAmoTiAmo · 08/12/2022 08:03

@hourbyhour101 Tanned Brunette? No I don't think that's the impression of Swedish women in most people's minds it's very white, maybe rosey cheeks and lips, very blonde, blue eyes, very pretty, slim, leggy and tall.
Tanned brunette is more of an Italian, Spanish stereotype.

ContemplatingPollocks · 08/12/2022 08:05

My partner is (genuinely) spectacularly handsome. A 6’ 4” glory. I’m very happy in my skin and am not fazed at all by it, but the attention he gets is wild. And tis true that some women are pretty blatant, I’ve had the odd jaw drop look from them when they clock my relative civilian-status looks. He’s such a modest soul that he doesn’t even register it.

Goodgrief82 · 08/12/2022 08:07

My partner is (genuinely) spectacularly handsome

”genuinely” 😂

ContemplatingPollocks · 08/12/2022 08:11

@Goodgrief82 Ha! Yes! The amount of pics I’ve been shown by buddies over the years and we’re all puzzled as to the fizzog gurning back at us

hourbyhour101 · 08/12/2022 08:17

TiAmoTiAmo · 08/12/2022 08:03

@hourbyhour101 Tanned Brunette? No I don't think that's the impression of Swedish women in most people's minds it's very white, maybe rosey cheeks and lips, very blonde, blue eyes, very pretty, slim, leggy and tall.
Tanned brunette is more of an Italian, Spanish stereotype.

No I was saying I wished I was tanned and brunette with a lovely shape 😂 Kim k springs to mind.

But I am pale and naturally v blonde. I don't know about leggy, boxy is probably more accurate imo. That said I haven't met any Swedish peoples so I don't know the comparison.

I just don't see the appeal either way and clearly neither did my ex.

I did dye my hair black as a teen and I have to say I looked like Wednesday Adams (and not in a good way)

emptythelitterbox · 08/12/2022 08:46

YaWeeFurryBastard · 07/12/2022 15:37

The ratio of women actually hitting on men vs women deluding themselves that other women are hitting on their partner is about 1/50 in my experience 😂

I go out a lot (and I’ve been around a good few years!) and it’s pretty rare IME to see women brazenly flirting or hitting on a man, whereas it’s really common for women to moan about other women flirting when they’re actually just being polite.

Agree. It really doesn't happen.
Nobody is after their pete doherty Wayne rooney looking partner.😂

TiAmoTiAmo · 08/12/2022 09:01

oh I conquer about women mistaking other women for flirting with their bloke.
I've had a friend thinking that I was using my big breasts to flirt with her boyfriend. I so wasn't, I didn't even find him handsome. She was stunning and I was the opposite body type to her. I was shocked when she said it I was just being friendly and polite to him.