The silent treatment from a narcissist. Help please.

[SilentRetreat]

To say I've gotten myself into a pickle is an understatement. I've been swept up in a shitstorm and should have known better. But here we are.

I was love bombed, then the devaluing began and now seemingly out of the blue he is ignoring me.

After 8 weeks of intense texting and a physical relationship it's really hard to not message to start a conversation about what is going on.

I saw so many red flags along the way that I chose to ignore, thinking it would be fine as the intensity was fun and why not just let myself kept swept along. I gave in to it against my better judgement.

Now it feels really horrible.

Help me to not text him please wise vipers.

Just don’t lower yourself. Don’t contact him. Leave his behaviour where it belongs…with him.

Oh and ditch him, obviously.

Don’t be curious, don’t cajole, don’t ask, don’t play along.

Block!

I was love bombed, then the devaluing began and now seemingly out of the blue he is ignoring me.

He's given you a get out of jail card free. Use it.
*Don't look back.
*This is who he is.
*This is how your life will be whilst you are with him. This is how your life will be only 100 times worse of you have children with him.
*You know what's going on, you saw the red flags and ignored them at your peril.
*He's a bully.
*He's manipulative.
*Run away.
*Stay away.
*Block.
*Block
*BLOCK.

You already know what to do.

I can't imagine that we go from how things were just last week to no contact without any conversation at all about it.

Must. Not. Text.

Do you want reminding that distancing yourself from this situation is likely a better course of action, or you do want a distraction i.e. to chit-chat about other stuff?

I'm worried that blocking him will make him angry and he'll be worse if that makes sense.

I want him gone but quietly and without any drama.

You’re clearly smart as you’ve seen passed his mask. You’re worth more than him.
people are how they behave towards you, not what they say. Talk is cheap. He’s showing his true colours now. Believe him when he’s shown you who he really is!!!

So ignore him.

Unless he has a key to your house or any sort of emotional access to your life, you can just leave him to be a bastard and move on.

Sorry OP, that’s an excuse. If he’s blocked how are you even going to find out that he’s angry. Block and move on.

He won't go without a drama, just block, you will never get the relationship you deserve from him.

Take it from someone who has an ex narcissistic husband who still wants to control me 13 years after our divorce

I think I just want to be able to communicate about it.

He works in the same building so I'm assuming he can make life difficult if he wanted to. If I block him won't he get more creative when he finally decides to end the silent treatment?

Does he know where you live? Does he know other details about you? - where you work etc?
Id block and forget. Its tempting to want to be able to continue to communicate but thats just continuing the problem ultimately. Just block and move on. Find yourself a distraction to fill the space he was taking up.

You are making excuses. You've had a lucky escape. You know he's awful and now you're letting 'what ifs?' stop you from doing what is healthy.

Perhaps what you really fear is there will be no drama and he will not care?

This is your get out of jail card

Take it and block him

It's a long time ago now but I had one of these and ignored the warning signs (well if truth be told I begged him to stop ignoring me) and from that point the dynamic was awful

I'd given him "permission" in his mind to treat me like shit

Don't do it

Walk away

What do you want people to say to you here? You're clearly looking for reasons to contact him even though you know you shouldn't.

Block him in all places and don't engage if he tries to talk to you in public. If he threatens or harasses you, report to police. Make work/security aware if necessary.

Well I don't know about the narcissistic bit.
But I can sympathise with the withdrawal from love bombing.
I have recently been love bombed and it's been so horrible to feel it ending, wondering how he could change his mind so suddenly and completely. It was all very drastic.
And the truth is that he might have had some feeling towards you (and my guy to me) but actually it meant very little and didn't add up to anything like what he was saying. The language they use is dangerous. But if they can fall head over heels for you within a few days or so quickly they will be doing it for everyone. You're just one of many. They just want the high of being 'In love' it's all just a game of Bullshit for them.
Don't message him.
Don't worry about him maybe being angry that you blocked him. Why would you not block him after this.

The intense feelings you thought you had for eachother were make believe. See him differently in your mind, try and laugh about it. He's a con artist. He mugged you off.

But... work out what it was the felt so great, the attention - validation - spontaneity? Ad try and add those things in to your life through other things, for yourself. Take care. It's proper shit

Red flags I ignored.

Very intense compliments very quickly about how amazing I am, like the weirdest not very impressive stuff even.

Genuinely rating himself a 10 for looks when he really is not. Sending me endless selfies.

Being really pissed off if I beat him at a game he considers himself the best at.

Asking for my advice in getting rid of a colleague who was harassing him via text.

Little comments about not liking my things.

Huffing and puffing about criticism from other colleagues or his manager.

Thank you. I need to block him I know.

I feel like I'm waiting until I see him tomorrow to see how he behaves.

I want to be wrong about who he is.

He doesn’t want a person who has a working BS detector or a healthy self esteem. So fake it til you make it. He’s going to hurt you, he’s going to unsettle your peace of mind…is that what you want? Ignore him and do yourself a favour and block him…and stop letting him rent space in your head for free. You can’t change or cure him. Put this episode down to boredom and a lack of common sense. Find a few new hobbies and move on.

Boredom, loneliness, physical and what felt like emotional connection.

I'm such a dickhead.

You won’t be wrong. This is who he is.

If you want to be ‘civil’ about it, text him ‘this isn’t working for me, bye’ and then delete and block.

But I’d be inclined to just delete and block tonight.