Really need advice on social services and midwife

[Colee321]

My partner and I attended our 12 week appointment during which the midwife took an interest in my personal life and had asked if I had been I foster care previously I said yes which was from ages 4-7 I'm worried as apparently I might be flagged to social services now even though I'm 28 now! I'm also concerned about my father in law who hasn't had any convictions but was previously investigated for being innapropiate with a 12 year old girl,taking photos of underage women amongst other things should I mention this to my midwife and could this affect my baby even though he hasn't been convicted and he will never be left unsupervised ever with our baby

You don’t need to disclose about FIL as you are already safeguarding by planing no contact

I'm unsure what the safeguarding process is in terms of what happens next with the midwife and social services.

However, in terms of your FIL, they should not have any contact with your child. You do not in anyway want to convey to your child they are a safe person to be around. They aren't.

My partner wants him to have contact but it will be supervised I'd prefer for him to have no contact but isn't just up to me unfortunately

Why isn't it upto you? There is no way l would allow someone with your FIL history near a child.

It is very risky behaviour allowing a baby near someone like your FIL, but I can understand it must be a tricky situation for you to navigate with your partner.

Please do not let him anywhere near your baby .

I wouldn't want my child to have any contact with a sex offender. Why would your partner want your child to have a relationship with a sex offender? You need to make your point more forcefully on this.

What you need to think about with your father in law is that if he develops a relationship with your child then it gives the opportunity to groom and engineer contact that you aren’t aware of.
in terms of you being in foster care in some areas the local authority might offer additional support to care leavers; it’s more to support younger parents who don’t have the support around them due to being in care. If they contact you then you can accept or decline this and it’s no reflection on you as an expectant parent

My partner wants him to have contact but it will be supervised I'd prefer for him to have no contact but isn't just up to me unfortunately

Have you asked your partner why he doesn't want to do all he can to protect his child from harm?

As he has actually has never been convicted of anything so I wouldn't have a leg to stand on legally

Does it not worry you that the father of your child is willing to put your child at risk of harm?

I 100% agree I don't want him anywhere near my baby but he hasn't actually been convicted of anything he has pretty gotten away with all these things over the years

How will you feel of your child is a girl? Keep your baby safe. Your FIL has no legal right to a relationship with your child, conviction or not.

You don't need a legal "leg" to stand on. You know what your FIL has done, and he has no legal right to a relationship with your child. I don't understand why your husband would want to take a risk with his own child. This man is not a suitable person to be around children. Supervised contact isn't good enough.

Sex of the baby makes no difference

Paedophiles will benefit in any way they can for the enjoyment of themselves or other bastards

You say yourself he's got away with a lot over the years , so you have concerns

A conviction is not the be all and end all
Please protect your baby

Foster care is a none issue. I’d be concerned about his dad and contact with your child. You can’t guarantee supervision. Your unmarried partner will only get parental responsibility if you opt to put him on birth certificate. So if you want it to be your decision who child has contact with then seriously think about PR issue. If you register birth without him there then he can go to court to apply for PR but would he in reality (effort/paperwork/cost).

Part of being a mother is to do everything you can to protect your child. It’s worrying that it’s not obvious to you that that includes keeping them away from people you believe to be sex offenders.

It is up to you, why would you allow your child to be around a paedophile, supervised or not?

If you're not safeguarding your baby and will allow them around someone who was being innapropiate with a 12 year old girl,taking photos of underage women amongst other things then maybe social services should be involved.

And there's no such thing as an underage woman, they're children

Children can be abused while other adults are in the room

I would make it clear to your BF that his dad/stepdad will not be allowed near the child ever.

Saying he hasn't been caught is very different to believing he didn't do it. You know he did so don't slow access.

Social service may very well get involved if you make decisions that make your bf happy rather than protect your child.

Not Being convicted wouldn't matter to me , the fact he's done it is enough to me to be a permanent no not ever being in my
Child's life , babies sex wouldn't matter to me either
This man is a predator
Why is your partner enabling him and wanting to put his baby / child at any risk
Also I have to ask why are you not making it crystal clear it's a no from
You and why on earth did you not have This conversation before having a baby with him OP

I think SS should be involved if you're not able to keep your child away from someone who you consider to be a sex offender

I am very aware of keeping my child away from sex Offenders thankyou for your concern though.
He hasn't been convicted of anything.

My partner wants supervised contact for his dad I do not want that but he also has rights as a father I feel like my hands are tied legally.

He won't have as many rights if you don't put him on the birth certificate

I am very aware of keeping my child away from sex Offenders thankyou for your concern though.

Not that aware if you're going to let it happen though are you?