Unfortunately if you hired solicitors they’d both say to stay put.
he needs to start divorce petition and start process to agree financial split. If he won’t do this, you do it instead. But tell him you expect him to do donkey work in admin as he’s the one instigating. Give him 3 weeks to log petition otherwise tell him you will do it and your expenses will come from his potion of financial settlement. All divorces now are no fault - you can even petition together,.
while you wait for him to do that, agree when you’ll be using kitchen, lounge etc . Come up with rota . Stop doing anything for him(you must in law if you are claiming seperation ) . This includes not doing food shop, cooking laundry. Agree a cleaning rota. Separate from his family and do nothing like sending birthday cards etc
Then get hold of the Advice Now guides on divorce while you’re waiting on him to start. The link is at top of page in MN divorce chat room now as I asked them to put it there. These are written by solicitors to helpavoid solicitor costs and are DIY guides. For English law only. They do cost £20 or so to download but that is cheap when a solicitor will cost you £200 per hour plus. Read both ones on divorce process itself (you do NOTeither of you, require a solicitor for this- it is very easy website and simple to do). You can also go onto the Gov.com web site and follow process in there and download all forms you will need for your financial settlement like Form E and D81.
get the advice now guide to financial settlements. If you can agree between you then you just need to pay for solicitor to put into legal draft for court to approve . Really until that’s drafted by a solicitor and you’ve provisionally signed ready for the courts, no solicitor would advise anyone moving out. The financial settlement requires you both to make full legal financial disclosure on Form E, and then D81 if you can agree and going consent order route. In all cases the court uses 10 or so criteria to determine what is a “fair” settlement - this may not be 50:50 in all cases. The advice now guide tells you these criteria, and explains the different processes around consent orders or financial agreements made by the court if you can’t agree yourselves. If you can’t agree you are now required by law to go to mediation before you ask court to settle.
if you can reach agreement amicably it will help him and you to have confidence to move out or on at an earlier stage.
Roght now though, he has pulled a surprise and shock on you. He has had a chance to visualise his future without you. You need to get to that place too and it takes time. One piece of this is the question of where you will live, how you will live, what you will live on (money). Getting your head around the process in these guides will help you with that and set out more clearly the future implications. Once that part of the unknown (and therefore fear) starts to become clearer you will be able to start to move forwards
also look at the Grief Pathway model- that’s what you’re going though. It will take time and will produce all sorts of odd emotions. Understanding the pathway will help you make a bit more sense that what you feel is reasonable and understand able. Be gentle on yourself
Try to stay as unemotional with him as possible. Keep it practice and amicable if possible, you’ll both save enormous amounts of money, time and stress if you can get through it amicable with minimal solicitors costs - neither of you are going to come out better off in the end with all the fancy and expensive solicitors in the world (unless you’re millionaires) , so better to avoid mediation let alone the courts unless he really won’t engage or is being abusive.