Separated husband with own place wants access to mine/me

[NoraButty]

Me and husband separated three months ago when I found he’d been using sex workers.

He went to stay with family but has now rented property nearby.

Since he has left I have never refused him access to the house to collect his belongings as long as I have someone there with me for support.

He collected the last of his belongings and has pretty much stripped the house bare.

The house is a marital asset and I accept he will have a share, which I am okay with. But for full disclosure it is fully in my name and purchased outright (no mortgage) by me prior to marriage.

He is saying that he is on with his solicitor to gain full access to my house and intends to come round three or four nights a week.

Is there a chance he would get this access? Bearing in mind he had his own place to live, we are getting divorced and there is nothing in the house bar my minimal belongings.

Not a chance. Can you get your own legal advice? You will need a solicitor for the divorce. He's very much trying it on with you. You need to push back.

Locksmith ASAP

It's evidence of abusive behaviour. Log everything and make it part of your divorce and financial settlement.

I would get legal advice right away. He’s not entitled to come and go as he pleases to your house. I appreciate that as you are married he has got some in entitlement in divorce. But the house is solely in your name at the moment so check if you can change the locks…. What can he do about it if you did?!

Not his property, he doesn’t get to enter without your permission. Change the locks ASAP.

Change the locks. And if he starts banging on the door, call the police.

He's trying to exert his claims to your house by bullying and intimidating you.

Please consult a lawyer and think about a non-molestation order.

Wtf does he want to do in the house, three or four nights a week? Like others have said, you need legal advice and quick.

I am so relieved with your replies. Thank you so much, you’ve put my mind at rest.

He is a bully and used to getting his own way.

I have a solicitor. I don’t go to her with his threats of legal action because he’s at it all the time and I don’t know how much is true or whether he’s trying it on. This in particular has been playing on my mind.

In Scotland your house would not be a matrimonial asset because you bought it before you where married. The only ‘share’ he could potentially claim would be unjustified enrichment if he could prove that you where unjustifiably enriched by him paying towards home improvements etc. I am not sure of the law elsewhere but definitely get legal advice asap.

I changed the locks once he had somewhere solid to stay.

I think he wants to, I don’t know how to describe it, still have a presence? He’s not taking me leaving very well. Despite him seeing sex workers he’s saying this is all my fault for finding out and thanks to me his life is now ruined.

It all feels surreal to me but me all of his stuff has been collected I’d like some peace. I was getting upset that I’d not be able to have that.

So he doesn't have a key? He can go swivel then. No one's going to make you give him a key.

Despite him seeing sex workers he’s saying this is all my fault for finding out

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

How is his life ruined when he could clearly make a lot of money as a stand up comedian.

He might have a claim on a bit of the house as a marital asset during the divorce m, but as his name is not in the deeds and you own it, I don't believe he has any rights to enter it or stay in it.

A solicitor would clarify.

Also worth finding out if a house you bought before marriage is truly a marital asset.

Op, you do realise that the statement he made about being caught having sex with prostitute (while in a monogamous marriage) and the fact that he's claiming he has rights to enter and stay in a property owned only by you now that you're separated....indicates that your ex is batshit fucking crazy. Why are you taking anything he says or does seriously.

Just check things out to cover yoursekf with a solicitor.

And as regards this divorce, you need a shark a really good family law solicitor and you need to make sure he gets as little as he deserves.

Stop communicating with him except through solicitors.

His stuff is out, you have no reason to communicate with him.

It sounds as though you've had a really rough time with him and I'm glad he's finally gone. He doesn't have a key, so just fit a CCTV at the front and the back and just don't answer the door if he comes to your house. If he goes around the back, call the police.

Why would he even want to come to your home, unless he is trying to worm his way back into your life or trying to cause you maximum distress? I suggest telling him in writing that you don't want him at your home and that any contact with you should be via his solicitor, and getting a camera for the door. Persistent unwanted contact can amount to harassment or stalking which are serious criminal offences.

JFC, it's your fault for finding out and ruining his life??

I am useless with legal advice but my word you are well shot of this deluded prick.

Why does he want to come three or four days a week?!

thanks to me his life is now ruined.

Batshit.

Fucking

Crazy.

He must have a personality disorder of some kind. He is not sane.

Anyway, how is his in life ruined? He's a free man. Free to fuck whomever he likes. Civvies or prostitutes. Free to get another partner who doesn't know about his "hobby" (yet) and move into her property that he contributed nothing to the purchase of. How inconvenient for him to have to find another mark.

How long were you married OP? It is not a given that he has a claim on a pre marital asset. An example is a friend of mine who bought a property before her marriage which the judge agreed to ringfence during financial proceedings. Marriage was 8 years long. I'd be fighting his claim personally 🤷🏻‍♀️

Is his life ruined because, as a currently single ma, he doesn't have enough money from cohabiting to pay prostitutes for sex easily?

Is it ruined be side he doesn't currently have anyone to do his housework, cook his meals and wash his undies.... While he's out fucking prostitutes behind her back when the notion takes him?

Is it ruined because he had to rent and cover his own accommodation costs instead of living in a home someone else bought before he got involved with her?

He's a parasite. He's a taker.

He's trying to get back in .... Probably be side he thinks it might get him more of the value of the property when you divorce .... If he says he still lives there and it's his home.

He's trying to pull some kind of scam.

He must think he'll get less of it in the divorce if he's not living there for quite some time (and of course you own it, and bought it before marriage).

It's an attempted legal, financial wrangle over the money from your property.

He thinks you owe him a living. He thought he was onto a good thing with you financially and he's enraged it looks over due to him being caught at his little hobby. He's trying to salvage as much financially as he can from his failure.

@TheFormidableMrsC

We we’re together 15 years, married for four.

You are all opening my eyes and making me laugh at the same time. When he says these things I doubt myself and worry he’s got a point but you all saying it back to me makes it sound so ridiculous.

You need to keep him as far as possible from your property, and you need to find out from an experienced solicitor just how little if it you can ensure he takes off you in the divorce.

As above, I think him trying to live there (at least part-time) is an attempted legal/financial hustle aimed at getting as much of your property as possible.