Nobody came to my party

[ScrabbleChamp64]

I honestly can’t believe I am typing this but I am so heartbroken I feel like I need to vent it somewhere.

My fiancé arranged me a surprise party for my big birthday this year. He went to a lot of effort with food and drink and decorating the house and told me that he had arranged for all my friends to some and celebrate with me.

We would be starting mid afternoon so that those who had long drives would be able to leave earlier and still be here a decent amount of time. He put up a gazebo with a heater because he was worried about room in our living room and had a couple of friends and his parents come and set it all up while he took me out so that it was a surprise.

Only one friend who doesn’t live down the road came. I really appreciate her. Nobody else bothered and I am utterly heartbroken.

How do I even begin to feel better about this? My fiancé wanted me to feel like a princess on my birthday but I can’t stop crying and I feel terrible because he went to so much effort.

Hmm, I do think the op is a bit OTT about the whole thing. At least some people showed up

Can't really expect people to be driving miles for a birthday party

Geez. No good deed.....

I agree with people that this is partly down to bad planning on you partner part.
I also think that we put too much emphasis on old friends when our lives are very different. I have tried this. It’s exhausting and gradually you start to realize you have less and less in common other than talking about the past. Concentrate on your local friends more who are there for you in the here and now.

I'm sorry your friends couldn't be bothered to make the effort OP, and yes I can understand how disappointing it was, and it was bad manners of them not to say they couldn't come. However, it was lovely that your fiance organised the party, and that local friends did attend. I would be taking a step back from these other so called friends if I were you - they really don't sound like the sort of people I would want in my life. Happy Birthday

@pixie5121 - your post was very rude and uncalled for.

I think a lot of people can be really flakey. I'm also still upset from my big birthday this year. I organised for people to come over, I paid for food/drink..all of them lived less than 10mins away and most pulled out the day before or the day after saying things like 'I wouldn't miss it for the world'. It still stings. BUT I've starting to try and look at it in different ways. I feel grateful for the small amount of people who did show 🙏

It actually makes me feel a bit sick to think people actually do consider such inane nonsense as some kind of serious issue
you do realise you consider this op nonsense, yet you've spent a day being an arse on it. A bit sick? That is so dramatic.

It's actually quite insulting to the people who did show up that they're all referred to as 'nobody
I do think that bit's a fair point actually

As others have said OP- there are a lot of flakey people about these days- I've got a very lovely but notoriously flakey friend who spreads herself quite thinly as she has tons of family and friends and I think she means more to me than I do to her if I'm honest- but hey ho it is what it is and I still love her friendship.

I also think trips out the area can cost a bomb these days - we had to do a recent trip about 160 miles away - involved £110 of fuel, £235 air b n b for 2 nights (and that was cheaper than the premier inn in Liverpool wanted or any other decent hotel) - so all in all with motorway stops and road toll - around £400 . Not an insignificant amount of money. I think many people feel embarrassed to say they can't afford things that don't on paper seem a big deal

I would never expect people to travel more than an hour for my birthday and yes with all the costs, and not being able to drink.

An hour? It takes an hour to cross a city. An hour and a half is reasonable imo and travelling doesn't have to mean driving.
I've already said I wouldn't do 4 hours without a place to stay.

"We're in a pandemic"

Are we? There are no pandemic measures where I live. Life is back to normal except if you yourself have Covid.

I know someone who cancelled a social event recently as they didn't want everyone cooped up inside altogether (not like at work where you can wear a mask if you want).

"Or if you're disabled or have a chronic illness that makes covid dangerous for you."

OP didn't say that was the case for any of her friends. If it was, they should have explained that and not just not turned up (assuming they were one of the few who were given the right time and date by the fiance).

if I were you Op, I’d ask to see all the messages your fiancé supposedly sent all your friends

I don’t know of a single person not seen any when out and about that’s taken any Covid prevention measures for months. Illnesses and health back to being dealt with by common sense as it was before March 2020. And yes I am “I’m alright Jack”. Random people’s health is not my problem.