Nobody came to my party

[ScrabbleChamp64]

I honestly can’t believe I am typing this but I am so heartbroken I feel like I need to vent it somewhere.

My fiancé arranged me a surprise party for my big birthday this year. He went to a lot of effort with food and drink and decorating the house and told me that he had arranged for all my friends to some and celebrate with me.

We would be starting mid afternoon so that those who had long drives would be able to leave earlier and still be here a decent amount of time. He put up a gazebo with a heater because he was worried about room in our living room and had a couple of friends and his parents come and set it all up while he took me out so that it was a surprise.

Only one friend who doesn’t live down the road came. I really appreciate her. Nobody else bothered and I am utterly heartbroken.

How do I even begin to feel better about this? My fiancé wanted me to feel like a princess on my birthday but I can’t stop crying and I feel terrible because he went to so much effort.

Oh dear I'd be heartbroken too! Try to be kind to yourself today. Cry if you need to. I am sure it was nothing personal but it can feel that way. Did noone RSVP?

Oh no im so sorry OP. It was a lovely thing of your fiance to do, although i dont like the whole princess for a day thing people say, but it was a lovely thought.

Do you regularly speak to the other friends he invited?

Jesus. How many people did he invite? How well do you both know them? That sounds awful.

That's awful.

When he invited them did they confirm they were coming?

That must have been heartbreaking. How many RSVPs did he get? Did no one contact him to apologise to say that they wouldn’t be there after all?

You poor thing, that’s awful behaviour from your friends.

I completely understand how terrible you must be feeling right now, I suppose I would say to try to take some comfort in the knowledge that you have a fiancé who clearly loves you very much.

I really am so sorry this happened to you.

Was this recent or January? I'm just thinking people may have been a bit wary possibly?

I’m sorry that happened to you. Happy birthday.

So they all confirmed they would be there and then just didn’t turn up on the day with no word? Is this friends and family?

Thats awful . I am so sorry.

Did yours / his family attend?

So local friends and family did come?

Did he get RSVPs?

It's not clear from your post whether only one friend came or only one non-local friend? Were family and local friends there?

I’m so sorry Op that sounds heartbreaking. Your dp sounds amazing though hang onto that as he obviously adores you

Having organised events for a job, it is really important to get the invites right.

If they are too loose (I.e come over if you can, we're having a few drinks) then people will think it's just a relaxed thing.

Many people intend to come along but on the day feel tired/stressed/not in the mood/nervous, and it's then you need a firm invite.

I suspect your fiancé hasn't let your friends know that if they don't turn up, you would be left with a party for one.

i think we need more info, only because it might be not as bad as you think, but when we’re in that place it’s hard to get clear perspective.

Did the people rsvp? How many did he invite and how far away, did anyone come? It sounds like local people did? I’d concentrate on these friends that did show up.

I’ve had mega shit birthdays too - however what I’d be taking from this is that you clearly have an great partner and his family and friends and that’s a really lovely thing to have. I’d choose a great partner and family over some flakey friends anyway xx

I’m sorry, that sounds pants.

If it was literally everyone though, I’d want to double check that there wasn’t miscommunication in the invite process though.

‘Scrabble’s birthday is 4pm on 5th, please RSVP by X’ with everyone chased and confirmed later on is very different from ‘do you fancy a party for Scrabble’s birthday’ with no further contact.

Oh that's rubbish @ScrabbleChamp64 I'm sorry it must be very wounding.
belated happy birthday.

Really sorry, that sucks. People are so flakey these days, it's got much worse since Covid. People feel they can bail for the flimsiest of reasons. The weather hasn't been great so I wonder if some were out off by a long drive in the rain?

On the bright side, sounds like your partner is a keeper.

When was the party meant to be?

Only one friend who doesn’t live down the road came. I really appreciate her. Nobody else bothered

I misread this as ‘only one friend came’.

But clearly local friends and family came, and helped set up etc.

Don’t be ‘heartbroken’.

Did you have a great time with the people who were there? If so, concentrate on that. It doesn’t necessarily mean your friends who live a long journey away don’t like you, there could be many reasons they couldn’t travel and stay over. Not least that life is very expensive right now.

It's why I don't have parties any more. Not that that helps.

If the party was yesterday - Bonfire night - then that could explain why people did not come.

Did all the guests confirm attendance?

Op this happened to a close friend of mine and it is utterly crap.
The pandemic has made so many people flakey and with low mental health.
This is not a reflection on you or him - it is sometimes just the way it is.

Can you tell us if some friends arrived? Local friends? Were you able to enjoy some part of it? Try and be glad you have a lovely dp and put it behind you.