I really thought this would be the best move I'd ever made but its feeling like a nightmare already.
I've been with DP for 11 years, we have been long distance whilst both sets of DC have been growing up. My youngest DD has just gone to uni and as was always the plan, I've left my job and am in the process of selling my house. I have savings to tide me over and a side hustle from before that is becoming my main income (and is wfh)
So for the last year its been proper prepping for the move, getting my house ready to sell and general excitement about finally living together. Our relationship is the best I've ever had and I love DP with all my heart, which makes how I'm feeling post-move even harder.
My DP lives rurally and in a small house on the family farm.. that's not a problem I love the outdoors and have been looking forward to a different way of life. The problem is his adult DS's 23 and 25. They both still live at home. One is working so I think will fly the nest eventually and the younger has never had a proper job and games all day. They are both nice lads but I'm really struggling with living in a house with an established family routine.
Feeling like I'm in someone else's space with other peoples stuff all around me. I really didn't think I'd feel like this and am feeling so homesick for my lovely house. I've obviously been a regular visitor here for over a decade so knew what I was getting myself in to so I've only got myself to blame. Although until a couple of years ago when it became apparent that the DS's would still be living here I took that into consideration and thought U could live with it. Now I'm not so sure I can.
It's only been a week since I moved here and I know it's early days but Im not sure I can stand it. I underestimated how much I don't want to be a step-mum figure, cooking and cleaning for 3 adult men. My DP doesn't expect it but obviously I've always done that for my own DDs so it's a natural role for me and one that I expected to take up when I came here.
My DP has always said that my happiness is his priority and that I can change whatever I like in the house and that he wants me to feel like it's my home too and to a certain extent he IS prioritising my feelings and happiness above the status quo with his DS's but I feel I can't expect much to change. His DSs aren't going to move out any time soon and any kind of pressure in that direction would cause problems in our relationship.
It sounds so bad but I could quite easily pack my bags today and drive home while DP is at work. But I love him - he is my future I'm very certain of that and I don't want my relationship to end. I just can't stand the thought of living with 2 manchilds for the foreseeable.
How do I get through this and make it work?