Hello, just thought I’d see if anyone is still relatively new in finding their feet after their marriage ended?
The separation from him was fairly easy to deal with as it had got toxic but the breakdown of my family unit is something I’ve struggled with - although getting there - and looking forward to Christmas!
Any one care to join a thread about it? ☕
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Anyone finding their feet after marriage ended?
Chocolatepencil · 05/10/2022 10:41
butterflyandbees · 25/11/2022 12:40
I am just at the very start of this journey, terrified and not wanting a divorce, so this is a great thread to start and I will be following it. He is still in the house, and is good cop/bad cop so I don't know where I am. Sadly I still love him and this is out of the blue last Saturday.
butterflyandbees · 25/11/2022 19:15
It's a comfort to know other people have come through this, I ask him why and I either get anger or a different answer each time
I don't love you
you had anxiety
you didn't love me the way I wanted to be loved.
You didn't show me enough affection
your not right for me anymore.
Each one is a punch to the gut, this time last week I would have sworn we would always be together through thick and thin.
I know I wasn't perfect, but I thought we had a strong supportive marriage, I am blaming myself and keep thinking I wish I had done this or that in a different way. The house is rural and isolated, so the thought of being here with the cats is scary, but at the same time rushing to sell and buy in panic mode probably won't be the best idea either.
ThePredictableScript · 26/11/2022 12:07
Kangaroo thats what it was like for me this last 7 months. I realised he contributed nothing except money (even though we co own the business), so I'm nervous how I'm going to cope financially as I had a nice lifestyle.. however it was nice on paper, the reality was I was miserable on these holidays/days out, hating him and probably couldn't get over him leaving start of the year and the smear campaign he did. That well and truly finished it for me in my mind. The walls went up. You might find the same thing if you went back Butterfly. Its never the same imo.
cleanbreak2022 · 27/11/2022 08:27
Ladies, we all have the same story, dick head man, takes us for granted (insert self entitlement behaviour) decide there's a better life for them and off they f*ck into what they believe is the sunset. They do this, without looking back and without regret because they know we are decent women/mothers/daughters/humans and the trail of destruction they leave will be swept up by us, like every other pile of shit they have done over the years of our loyal partnerships.
What we don't notice at this point (I'm coming up to my year anniversary) and what we don't always see, is we're about to embark on a very hard journey of self discovery. It doesn't feel like it, it feels like you don't know your path, that your lost and wondering around in the wilderness. What you/we are actually doing, is finding your way. One tiny step at a time, sometimes no steps on a day, sometimes steps backwards, but you will not ever take that first step again.
You will learn how it feels to be free, what financial independence is, resilience, determination, your emotions will harden (only enough to towards them). New routines will emerge, new challenges and you will achieve them.
In years to come, you will look down on them.
I didn't do the pick me dance, I never asked for him back, not once.
I'm grateful he didn't choose me, because I look at who he did choose and the life he volunteered for, and now I realise, he was never enough for me, I'm glad I didn't reach his standard, he will never be high enough to reach mine.
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