Sex while asleep

[Rachellilllian]

I woke up a night ago as my partner turned me over and started having sex with me, I was fast asleep when he started. They was no hug or fondle just straight in. 18 months together and he has never done this before, but I feel uncomfortable. When I asked me about it the morning, he just said sorry that he didn’t know who had started it.

You feel uncomfortable because he raped you.

im so sorry, it’s an awful feeling.

can you speak to anyone in real life?

Thats rape. You did not consent.

I am so sorry you that has happen to you. Go straight to the police as after 18 months its only going to get worse if you stay together. I really hope you kick him out though.

That is rape.

Huge red flag. Run.

Awful. It's rape, you should leave.

You were asleep when he "started?"
Then there was no consent and I'm afraid that is classed as rape as other posters have said.

He raped you. I'm sorry OP.

That is a rape. Disgusting. Get him on his bike!

We are very sexually active and open so I guess I was just thinking along those lines. But I’m actually sitting here crying about it, I’m back at my own home now. We don’t live together.

So sorry, that sounds like an awful situation. Is there anyone you can talk to IRL?

I didn’t say no I didn’t stop him but it does not feel right at all

Must admit my boyfriend does this every now and then and I love it. Waking up with him inside me is great. But it’s something we both know is OK, which it the important thing. This sounds a bit more grey area - was he awake?

You don't need to say no - you didn't say "yes" and therefore you did not consent.
Please run a mile from this man

You didn't say yes.

So sorry, please reach out to local services for people who have suffered rape and sexual assault.

He was awake but didn’t mention it at all till I did and then all he said was sorry.
If he had been cuddling me and it was like sleepy middle of the night sex it would of felt different

The onus is not on you to say no. You were asleep when he started so you had no opportunity to consent. That is rape.

WTF does he mean he didn’t know who had started it? You were asleep and he had to turn you over

He's lying. Or he doesn't know about rape and consent. Either way, he's not on a good footing.

This is rape, please leave him. You are not a sex toy.

If he had to turn you over, and you weren’t kissing/cuddling, he knew you were asleep. It’s rape.

It is rape. He has just shown you who he really is and he is an arse with no respect for you.

Dump him and run. It sounds as though you have separate homes anyway, so go to your own home and tell him not to bother coming back to you.

Same thing happens to me, though not ever fully PIV. But it really disturbs me and I've said repeatedly that I don't like it. Last time it happened I was very angry and upset, and told him so. He just said he didn't know who'd started it, or that I wasn't awake. It makes me feel very very confused and unsafe, and consequently our sex life is nonexistent- so this time when I challenged him about it he brought that up as well. I know I should probably start planning to leave but I don't know where to begin. It is shit and quite horrifying how many women have had this happen.

Absolutely this. Please leave, OP. This is not right and I think you will feel very differently the longer you have to process this

So sorry this has happened to you. This has happened to me too in the past. As others say, this is rape.

I'm sorry that happened to you. Please read your message a few times to yourself.

He didn't know who started it? Maybe it was the party that was active and awake rather than passive and asleep?

I don’t know how to tell someone that. He was really odd and cold the next day and today.