How can I resolve this issue about the condom

[CK0513]

How can I resolve this issue about the condom?

Silly situation where the only thing I been looking for is honesty.

23 years ago, I started dating my now wife, we love each other in a big way, at that moment one day by mistake I ended up snooping into drawers, looking for a pen and I found a box of condoms where one of them was missing, then I found a Diary where she wrote this. “Neither one of us had a condom so we need to wait” , we been thru therapist on and off for 23 years where she's trying to make me understand that she never used that condom with that guy, she wrote as a fantasies that people write in diaries, as a men I truly don't understand how a person write things that are not true, Is that true that women write fantasies in diaries? she's been suffering so much because this, me on top of her on this issue asking for honesty, and always the same story of her saying that she grabbed the condom and fill it with water by curiosity. It’s been 23 years and she can't take it anymore, she's tired and after lots of tears and pain , we are again in therapy, she's still fighting for me insisting that she's not lying, I need to stop on this but all I’m looking is honesty, she's the most honest person I know and I know I’m about to loose her. Please serious comments on this issue.

I guess I was naive about the diary thing. never thought that I would read nothing important

You're lying. A liar.

ok, I'm a liar

I too find it very hard to believe that you started reading her diary, and instead of realising what it was, putting it away and confessing, you kept on reading and thought that was OK.

A serious lack of moral compass there.

You say you were being naive when you read her diary. Can you prove it? Because we think you're lying. You can keep saying that for the next 23 years, but we're going to keep saying you're lying. And you can't prove it. But we know you're lying. So why don't you tell us the truth, then we will leave you alone.

When did you start badgering her to ‘tell you the truth’ and state the ‘truth’ according to you is not what she stated to be the truth but what you insist is.

was it after she married you?

after she had children with you?

you don’t want the truth you want to hear her and other people say she had sex with someone else before she met you.

you’re a nasty manipulative psycho. Why she has put up with you for two decades I don’t know.

if you’d have left her if she had told you what you wanted to hear. Why don’t you leave now? Because you don’t believe her or anyone else when they say she’s probably telling the truth, you’re still seeking validation and at least one person to agree with your psychotic behaviour.

nobody with any sense is going to agree with you or give you the answer you want to hear.

again not surprised you have no friends. hopefully soon you’ll have no wife either.

You sound like a jealous teenager. Of course she used that condom with the bloke and it’s gone on so long she can never tell you the truth now. Let the poor woman go.

You people insult me in a way that makes no sense.
I'm looking for help and you guys again and again and again go on top of me with no reason at all.
No!!!! everything happens before we got married! Don't you read???
Yes She's been telling me that she hasn't lie about it, but since I'm sick its hard for me to believe, that yes there's a chance I'm the wrong here!!! after 23 years

What???

I'm looking for help and you guys again and again and again go on top of me with no reason at all.

No reason at all? You've literally admitted on this thread to "yes mentally torturing" her.

And that, in your mind, is "no reason at all" for people to speak to you the way they are on this thread?

It's very telling you keep calling women aggressive when this is how you describe speaking to your wife:

"do you want the divorce????? the answer is Yes! Ok then tell me the truth about the fucking condom and I will leave you right now"

You think people on this thread are being aggressive and mean, when that's how you speak to the woman you claim to love?

Your poor wife and your poor kids.

Your victim complex is staggering.

I think you are lying that you read a diary. I think you are lying that there was a condom missing out of the box. I think you are lying when you say you don’t believe your wife.

How can you convince me you’re not lying? What can you say or do that proves to me you’re telling the truth?

Who you are for me to prove you anything.
freak!!!

The mask slips...

The problem isn't the truth, the problem is your inability to accept the truth ?
If she tells you it's true what are you going to do ?
If she tells you it isn't true what are you going to do?
Either way you've stayed for 23 years torturing her and yourself.
Do her and yourself a favour and get divorced. I can't imagine listening to you for 23 years whether it was true or not. I would be gone.
If a stranger comes on here and says 'I believe her' will that actually make any difference to you...no.
I hope she leaves you, it might wake you up but I suspect you'll still be bemoaning and wondering and torturing yourself infinitum, a bit like you are on this thread. Dozens of people have said the same thing and nothing has registered...on and on and on and on you go. 23 years of that would be torture.

Wow. How quickly you lose your temper.

And it's been nowhere near 23 years.

Imagine being your poor wife, and having to put up with those kinds of doubts from the man who claims to love her so much. For 23 years.

You don't want her to tell the truth. You want her to tell you what you THINK the truth is. And I suspect if she broke,and agreed with your fiction just to make you shut up, you would treat her very badly.

Who you are for me to prove you anything. freak!!!

Someone doesn't like it when women mirror his behaviour.

Or when women disagree with him.

Or when women try to reason with him.

Or when women don't answer a question in the exact way they want (his wife not giving him the answer he wants / us not adhering to his yes or no demands on here)...

One might say he just doesn't like, or respect, women very much.

OP engage a bit of critical thinking and you might understand the point that poster was making.

It doesn't matter any more. Let her be free. Even if she did screw up (possibly not) but she's tolerated you for 23 years
23 years of you not believing her? Questioning everything?
You'd be gone.

Touché DatingDinosaur. Its like a 747 over the top of his head.

Lying on what???

That's your problem not hers.

She's a saint.

Agree 100% and I don 't want to lose my family!. But what can I do to believe and what do I need to believe to put all this to rest for once and for all.

@CK0513

It's obvious you're lying.

You may as well just admit it.

Lying about what?

@CK0513

You know what about. We think you're lying.

It's not our choice, it's your behaviour making us think you're lying.

If only you could be honest.

Touché DatingDinosaur. Its like a 747 over the top of his head.

Isn't it just! ✈️