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Original poster

How can I resolve this issue about the condom

437 replies

CK0513 · 09/09/2022 02:18

How can I resolve this issue about the condom?

Silly situation where the only thing I been looking for is honesty.

23 years ago, I started dating my now wife, we love each other in a big way, at that moment one day by mistake I ended up snooping into drawers, looking for a pen and I found a box of condoms where one of them was missing, then I found a Diary where she wrote this. “Neither one of us had a condom so we need to wait” , we been thru therapist on and off for 23 years where she's trying to make me understand that she never used that condom with that guy, she wrote as a fantasies that people write in diaries, as a men I truly don't understand how a person write things that are not true, Is that true that women write fantasies in diaries? she's been suffering so much because this, me on top of her on this issue asking for honesty, and always the same story of her saying that she grabbed the condom and fill it with water by curiosity. It’s been 23 years and she can't take it anymore, she's tired and after lots of tears and pain , we are again in therapy, she's still fighting for me insisting that she's not lying, I need to stop on this but all I’m looking is honesty, she's the most honest person I know and I know I’m about to loose her. Please serious comments on this issue.

OP posts:
Person18885 · 09/09/2022 02:27

Op do you know why she had a box of condoms in the drawer?

Thegrowlery · 09/09/2022 02:29

This reply has been deleted

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Person18885 · 09/09/2022 02:30

Op when did this all happen

Person18885 · 09/09/2022 02:34

@Thegrowlery give the guy a chance, his wife might have cheated on him, i know that would bother me for a while if i didnt think i was getting the truth

Pixiedust1234 · 09/09/2022 02:34

So you havent trusted her for 23years. You continually question her and been to therapy.

I'm surprised she's lasted this long. Please do the decent thing and let her go. You've punished her enough.

stealtheatingtunnocks · 09/09/2022 02:37

“I ended up snooping”

well, that was your mistake

Original poster
CK0513 · 09/09/2022 02:37

she's been saying for 23 years the same story, and after so much pain and tears , she's tired and wants to divorce, the only thing I'm looking for is some honesty, That's all!, we've been thru therapy with all this, After 23 years of all this.
Do you think she's lying???

OP posts:
TheOnlyBeeInYourBonnet · 09/09/2022 02:37

So this happened right at the beginning when you were first dating? And you've had a faithful happy marriage for 23 years since?

Let it go, it's not important. And don't read peoples' diaries!

Person18885 · 09/09/2022 02:38

@Pixiedust1234 people on here are always quick to say that but youre talking about just ending a marriage, its never that easy, its usually very complicated and a lot of the time when theres been cheating rather messy

Person18885 · 09/09/2022 02:39

Op on the face of it, if she has wrote that in her private diary then you find a condom missing i would say it is highly suspicious yes

Sunflowergirl1 · 09/09/2022 02:39

CK0513 · 09/09/2022 02:37

she's been saying for 23 years the same story, and after so much pain and tears , she's tired and wants to divorce, the only thing I'm looking for is some honesty, That's all!, we've been thru therapy with all this, After 23 years of all this.
Do you think she's lying???

I'm not surprised she wants to divorce after 23 years of this. Then you will know for sure she will be using the condom you have been obsessed about

igor · 09/09/2022 02:40

How long do you want to punish your wife for? If after 23 years you're still asking and going to therapy then it's time to let her free.

Original poster
CK0513 · 09/09/2022 02:40

I just want to believe after 23 years and don't have any doubts in my mind.
Yes, she's been suffering with this, she said Why I would lie to you after 23 years

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 09/09/2022 02:41

Person18885 · 09/09/2022 02:38

@Pixiedust1234 people on here are always quick to say that but youre talking about just ending a marriage, its never that easy, its usually very complicated and a lot of the time when theres been cheating rather messy

I understand that but its been TWENTY THREE YEARS. When will it be enough?

igor · 09/09/2022 02:41

Just read back, I'm not surprised she wants a divorce. Good luck to her, she lasted 23 more years that I would've

Person18885 · 09/09/2022 02:43

Op maybe you either need to trust what your wife has said or move on, its clearly causing a lot of tension between you two, you need to decide if the marriage is worth saving, for both your sakes

Scottishskifun · 09/09/2022 02:43

So you have been harassing your wife over this for 23 years????

I'm not surprised she's tired and wants a divorce that is a ridiculous amount of time to hold onto something. Either let it go or sign the divorce papers and let her be happy without your constant cloud over her!

Original poster
CK0513 · 09/09/2022 02:43

What about what I read??/ Is that true that women write stupid things in diaries that are not true???

OP posts:
namechangeofthehour · 09/09/2022 02:44

Poor woman. You should have resolved this at the time. If the 23years have been good you should forget it. No wonder she wants a divorce.

Person18885 · 09/09/2022 02:44

Op i dont think we will ever know if that part is true, it very well could be, or it might not

Original poster
CK0513 · 09/09/2022 02:45

I appreciate all your help, its a matter of trust, We love each so much! But I know she's been trying for me to understand thru therapy that she's not lying

OP posts:
igor · 09/09/2022 02:46

People (not just women) write stupid things all the time. In diaries, online, in letter...

Original poster
CK0513 · 09/09/2022 02:48

Even the therapists say she's not lying, because after 23 years with me on top of this, she say she won't say something she didn't do, just to make me happy, because i been asking for 23 years on and off

OP posts:
Grumpusaurus · 09/09/2022 02:48

Why were you snooping though her diary?!! I hope she can get rid of you and live a happy life.

Original poster
CK0513 · 09/09/2022 02:49

My only question here, I'm not sure if a men can answer, What's the whole idea of the diary??? to write fantasies???? Im always thought it was to write facts about you life

OP posts: