Online dating - absolutely fucking grim!

[SwissRole123]

It's vile isn't it? I've quit it now as it's not suitable to my personality but fuck me...

1. 90% of them are absolute rotters who send messages starting with "hey sexy..."

1. The vast majority are instagram slaves who's profile pictures are hanging off a cliff in South East Asia, jumping out of some random plane or posing with a tiger. Personally I'm happy with a bowl of pasta down the local, a few beers and a game of darts.

1. The ones who are apparently looking for a relationship but don't bother messaging you or will fizzle out after a "hello how are you"

1. Quite a few are "regulars" I've seen before with a different name to the one I've seen on a different app... 💍? These are usually the ones who say they're about to delete their profile for technical reasons. Poor cow whoever she is

1. Then there's the "rule" that even on the slight off chance you click with someone you'll have to pretty much accept they're still dating other women until they decide who they want the most. It's all a bit Pick Me 🚫😳

1. The ones who are up to their eyes in kids with the old "my kids are my world and if you don't like it you can fuck off" okay mate but maybe DON'T actually post pictures of your children on a dating site and google safeguarding

1. The six pack selfies. Just stop ✋️

1. I never knew how many people were called Simon.

1. The sleazebags. One guy was literally posing with his coat pulled open with both hands wearing a t-shirt saying "show me your twat"... another declared all the women should pick him because his cock is the same length as two argos pens 🖊 🖊

10. The group photo... where he never turns out to be the fit one 🙈

I have to laugh. I actually know quite a few decent people who met online but they were all years ago so perhaps it's all changed since covid I'm not sure. But if any of you single MNers can add to the list, feel free! I'd love to hear more!

I’ve never bought a pen from Argos - is there something special about them? 🤔

@BuenoSucia they are very short 😁

Oh you mean those little blue pens? Do they still have them?

Every other post on here is somebody moaning about OLD

We both know you'll be back on in a week or two

This is all very true.
Funny but a bit depressing as well.
And totally agree with the aggressive bio statement “Dad to a beautiful princess who is my world and will always come first and if you don’t get that swipe left now” what’s that all about??!

I've dabbled over the years but after my last breakup I stayed off it purposely. I've never felt better for it. I don't think people realise the toll it takes on your wellbeing being confronted on a daily basis with poor specimens of men and thinking 'is this what's left?'

I'm at peace with being single and if it's forever, then so be it. Given that people like to coupled up I don't think I'll be single forever. But I can tell you I won't be going back online again looking for a partner. It's been 18 months now and I have no inclination at all to return to it.

And also every other post is someone being draining and bitchy when most of us just want a lighthearted laugh.

Lighten the fuck up

I fully understand. Any passive aggression is an immediate left swipe in my view.

There's plenty of women that have profiles like that too.

It's certainly character building

Its fun 😂

You can't forget the ones that ask to do something fun and active on a first date...mate, I just want a coffee and to confirm you aren't freddy kruger and trying to harvest my organs.

I get random 40/50 year old guys message me as well, my profile says I'm a heterosexual male looking for a woman.

It is! I tried and found it horrendous, came off a year ago and will hopefully never go back 😣 it’s certainly a depressing lens on life!

I need to find two argos pens now and measure them 😂I hope the girth isn't the same as an argos pen.

It's a shark infested sea for sure. Yes there might be some angelfish swimming amongst them and the adventure can be fun and exciting, but overall I think you've written an accurate and entertaining summary.

I met my hubby on there 10 years ago. Even then it was the same as you described and I was thinking about coming off when he messaged me, Lucky I didn't!

I did think before posting actually... imagine how many happily married women will be going to Argos today just to get two pens and tell hubby to get his knickers off 🤣 if their sales shoot (no pun intended!) through the roof it'll be because of ME! I want 30%

@Bestcatmum - be like having sex with a straw😂

I've seen multiple men make this exact claim - it's an attempt at a joke as it's always followed by a statement about being banned from Argos

Hardly the funniest.....and definitely not original but I don't think he's actually saying anything about the size of his dick

The fact he's even mentioned the size of his dick in his profile, even as a joke, is a massive turn off for me

another declared all the women should pick him because his cock is the same length as two argos pens 🖊 🖊

Haha brilliant!

I haven't tried it for many years but seems like nothing has changed, and agree it's depressing, probably worse now after lockdown. Quite a few of my friends have met their now husband online albeit never on the free sites.

It's code for "I tried to get my last girlfriend to do all my parenting for me and she kicked off so I'm looking for the next victim".

Yep, it's dire. It was dire pre COVID but it seems even harder work now. Maybe it's because I'm that but older and less desirable but I don't get many matches and I don't swipe right on many at all.

Lots of guys my age who are pushing 50 who don't know if they want kids and don't know what they're looking for. Ffs.

The 'no drama' brigade too. Wtf is that about?

Yes, I dated 2 Simons!

I looked for a friend recently ( for a laugh to see if her ex was on it). It’s a small town. The amount of crap given was ridiculous.

@Windywuss I read no drama as I’ll treat you poorly and say you are psycho when you don’t lap it up and call me out on it.

It seems that if they call themselves Simon the first thing to do is ask for proof of identity😂

Trying to look like really sincere strong family men. In reality as soon as somebody sufficiently Barbie like comes along the little Princess will be forgotten 😐

I renewed my Match subscription 6 months ago. It’s just about to expire & I’ve not been on a single date in all that time. Maybe a couple of phone calls and WhatsApp conversations & that’s about it. I’m 55 and resigned myself to the fact I might be single now for the rest of my life.
A couple of things that I immediately swipe left on:
Posing with tigers (horrible. Poor creatures are probably drugged)
topless bed pose with come hither expression 🤮
pub/bar mirror selfie with row of urinals in background
‘I’m a glass half full type person’
’comfortable in my own skin’
‘Looking for a partner in crime’
Holding a fish photo

etc etc