Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Take away to someone else address?

208 replies

Flowerpot101 · 31/08/2022 21:32

The other day, myself and my other half decided to order a take out Chinese from a place local but that we had from before but not for a while. The website auto saves the address and credit card similar to how just eat would. He passed me his phone to input my order, so I did then continued to checkout to find another address already on there, it’s his account, his credit card, but some one else’s full address, door number, street, post code. This address was a few estates away from us so not exactly a auto input from location services as it’s too far away, - I’d understand if it put on automatically next doors address or something. He brushed it under the carpet immediately saying “oh dunno why that’s there”
I memories the postcode and door number and obviously google mapped it to ensure it was an address. I even drove past the house, a mini parked outside, flowers in the window, so it’s actually a place.
Has he previously ordered a take away there or is this a simple technical error? Should I be worried?

OP posts:
Dozeydate · 17/09/2022 15:47

ThisUserNameIsAvailableOk · 17/09/2022 14:35

"Just a thought. Is the door number similar to yours? Wonder if he might have entered your postcode but selected the wrong address in a hurry and then it autofilled?"

🤣 that you OPs cheating husband?

😂

Flowerpot101 · 17/09/2022 15:50

Oooooh! Sorry for the drip feed, the other night too, he called some other woman’s name out in his sleep 😂 he was saying “Rach, rach, Racheal no,” 👀👀👀 I personally don’t know a Racheal, neither does he. Was probably nothing but still 🤣

OP posts:
iamjustwinginglife · 17/09/2022 17:38

Flowerpot101 · 17/09/2022 15:50

Oooooh! Sorry for the drip feed, the other night too, he called some other woman’s name out in his sleep 😂 he was saying “Rach, rach, Racheal no,” 👀👀👀 I personally don’t know a Racheal, neither does he. Was probably nothing but still 🤣

It's really not nothing but if you choose to believe him then that's up to you. Pp have given you a really easy action (knock on the door and make an excuse for doing so) but it will either put your mind at rest or blow everything out of the water. I think you know it will blow everything out of the water so you choose to believe "it's probably nothing."

nachoavocado · 17/09/2022 17:39

Flowerpot101 · 17/09/2022 15:50

Oooooh! Sorry for the drip feed, the other night too, he called some other woman’s name out in his sleep 😂 he was saying “Rach, rach, Racheal no,” 👀👀👀 I personally don’t know a Racheal, neither does he. Was probably nothing but still 🤣

Well you know where Rachel lives now. Maybe casually ask if he's seen Rachel lately?

vroom321 · 17/09/2022 17:55

I don't understand why you would think it's funny he said another woman's name all while this is happening with this other address?

AnotherEmma · 17/09/2022 18:16

Whether or not he's cheating, he's abusive. He controls the finances, and has make you accept the (wrong) premise that it's his money and you don't have equal right to it because you're looking after your (shared) children. It sounds as if he's emotionally abusive too - see www.healthline.com/health/signs-of-mental-abuse

As you're not married and the house is in his name, you will effectively be homeless if the relationship ends. You should talk to your local council's housing team about making a homeless application and a (separate) application to join the housing register.

england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/homelessness/get_help_from_the_council

england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/council_housing_association/how_to_apply_for_council_housing

Flowerpot102 · 24/10/2022 09:09

Hi all! I am the OP - lost my login details and couldn’t recover so I made a new account. Sooo little update. Few months have past, I’m still here living with him while I get my ducks in a row, but things have sort of slipped back. Anyway, the take away address. Found out who lives there, it’s a woman. Not just a any woman, some one who has recently become single/divorced and some one he knows. She’s on his face face book. Occasionally likes a photo. She used to work in the shop next door to his business years ago. She messaged him 12 months ago asking he he’d be up for getting together with all “old friends” as far as I was made aware this never happened. Anyway, her address has ended up on his “relatively new” take away app. The app wasn’t invented 12 years ago so it wasn’t from before we met. He swears he has no idea how it got there, it’s a technical error, off all the address in this world and its Some one he knows that’s ended up in there! Whose recently singe and has dropped in his inbox previously! But he’s swears blind and he’s innocent and there’s no way he has been associated with that address or her at all and that he didn’t even know where she lives and it’s all one big coincidence!! Says he will even get her to contact me and prove that he’s telling the truth. Says I can go up there and knock on and she’ll tell me I’m crazy and I’ll look so stupid. He sounds so convincing when he swears bling to me!

ChaosDemon · 24/10/2022 09:15

Well he's lying. I Know from experience they can be convincing but there's no other explanation and in your shoes I wouldn't waste energy jumping through hoops while he "proves himself" gets her to lie for him

It'll just lead to more confusion and from now on you'll always wonder, watching him and questioning if he is where he says he is. I coukdnt live like that

3ShotsOfEspresso · 24/10/2022 09:17

@Flowerpot102 Oh wow, that's quite the update. Really glad you're seeing through his BS. Good luck.

CornishTiger · 24/10/2022 09:32

Oh @Flowerpot102 you know it’s lies now don’t you. Are you planning on leaving?

Flowerpot102 · 24/10/2022 09:40

CornishTiger · 24/10/2022 09:32

Oh @Flowerpot102 you know it’s lies now don’t you. Are you planning on leaving?

Yeah I planning on leaving. This is just too much of a coincidence. Any address in this world and it is hers. He will never admit the truth, ever. She will lie for him. So it is up to me if I believe his lies and I really can’t. The relationship isn’t strong enough to take this on anyway. I doubted myself so much when I first confronted him, and now I find it’s an address of some ones he’s been previously associated with and not just an address of some random family. All too much

ImGood · 24/10/2022 09:44

Oh well at least you know the truth now and don’t have to wonder if it was a random address or autofilled or a mistake.

9HrsSleep · 24/10/2022 10:55

I wonder if his phone would automatically connect to the WiFi at the take-away house, if you stood outside their front door with his phone?

dawnfromgavinandstacey · 24/10/2022 11:02

9HrsSleep · 24/10/2022 10:55

I wonder if his phone would automatically connect to the WiFi at the take-away house, if you stood outside their front door with his phone?

That is such a good idea.

PunishmentSnart · 24/10/2022 12:12

Is her name Rachel?

Flowerpot102 · 24/10/2022 12:23

PunishmentSnart · 24/10/2022 12:12

Is her name Rachel?

😂 no it’s actually not! Not heard that name since! She is some one who he does know though. He is just a liar. There’s no way the address got there by accident.

catneedsfeeding · 24/10/2022 12:28

When they say that they're going to get the other person to contact you, or when they tell you to go and ask the other person direct, they're often bluffing.
It happened to me and I called his bluff and picked up the phone when he immediately then changed his story. @Flowerpot102 how well do you know this woman?

Flowerpot102 · 24/10/2022 12:31

catneedsfeeding · 24/10/2022 12:28

When they say that they're going to get the other person to contact you, or when they tell you to go and ask the other person direct, they're often bluffing.
It happened to me and I called his bluff and picked up the phone when he immediately then changed his story. @Flowerpot102 how well do you know this woman?

I don’t know this woman at all. He knew her before he met me 12 years ago. But there has been nothing to suspect they’ve been anything other than acquaintances until now. I absolutely did not expect to find that she lives at this address. Been through Facebook and he’s like a few profile pics of hers but no exchange in comments

Name99 · 24/10/2022 17:50

How did you discover it was her address?

Does he think you've bought the lie he's told you then?

greenisblack · 24/10/2022 18:03

Did you ask him about the message 12mo ago? Or are you keeping some cards to your chest? I would be evidencing everything. You must know he's going to gaslight you so much and make out you're mind is playing tricks on you but it's not.
You're smart and know what's going on. He's stupid and doesn't know you know what's going on. Great upper hand to have
I'm sorry he's done this to you x

FITasAFIddle42 · 24/10/2022 19:17

I order alot of takeaways, and it does save the address from where you last ordered for convienience. I know this as we have been at DH's parents, ordered a take out , it saved that address within their system ( almost ordered my next one to DH parents before realising!).

  1. Forget the new card. The card and the address are not linked by the app. It doest matter he has a new card, it could of happened ages ago.
  1. Who normally orders? Is it rare that he has ordered? How long have you been together?

It could genuinely be him ordering a take away before he met you with another woman and he's forgot.
You know his reaction, what was he like when u said where is this place?

Flowerpot102 · 24/10/2022 19:40

FITasAFIddle42 · 24/10/2022 19:17

I order alot of takeaways, and it does save the address from where you last ordered for convienience. I know this as we have been at DH's parents, ordered a take out , it saved that address within their system ( almost ordered my next one to DH parents before realising!).

  1. Forget the new card. The card and the address are not linked by the app. It doest matter he has a new card, it could of happened ages ago.
  1. Who normally orders? Is it rare that he has ordered? How long have you been together?

It could genuinely be him ordering a take away before he met you with another woman and he's forgot.
You know his reaction, what was he like when u said where is this place?

The app didn't exist before we met. It was 12 years ago at least when he'd of had anything to do with her. I have the same app, it saves the previous addresses and auto fills the last address which was inputted, which was hers as that was the address than came up when I went to check out. I've done a lot of digging and she didn't move into the house until after 2017, years after I'd met my DP.

Flowerpot102 · 24/10/2022 19:48

Name99 · 24/10/2022 17:50

How did you discover it was her address?

Does he think you've bought the lie he's told you then?

Purely by accident! She came up on my people who you might know on Facebook so I had a nosey, her fb isn't private. I recognised images of the front of the house (I drive past the take away address/this house on my way to work every morning to I know what it looks like 😩 but had no idea who lived there). I'm not interested in contacting her though at all.

Flowerpot102 · 24/10/2022 19:52

greenisblack · 24/10/2022 18:03

Did you ask him about the message 12mo ago? Or are you keeping some cards to your chest? I would be evidencing everything. You must know he's going to gaslight you so much and make out you're mind is playing tricks on you but it's not.
You're smart and know what's going on. He's stupid and doesn't know you know what's going on. Great upper hand to have
I'm sorry he's done this to you x

I'm keeping it to myself. He will lie his way out of it all. That address didn't pop in his phone by accident! And for it to be some one he knows is just too much of a coincidence. He's very willing to give the relationship up. So far he's denied everything but equally doesn't want to try. So that's that with him then. I'm my opinion, he wants the relationship to be over before I catch him out anymore and I find out everything. He wants an easy way out of his lies

ChaosDemon · 24/10/2022 21:08

Flowerpot102 · 24/10/2022 19:48

Purely by accident! She came up on my people who you might know on Facebook so I had a nosey, her fb isn't private. I recognised images of the front of the house (I drive past the take away address/this house on my way to work every morning to I know what it looks like 😩 but had no idea who lived there). I'm not interested in contacting her though at all.

There's a chance that she came up as "people you might know" because she had already stalked your profile!

The algorithm is complex but that is one of the factors.