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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Take away to someone else address?

208 replies

Flowerpot101 · 31/08/2022 21:32

The other day, myself and my other half decided to order a take out Chinese from a place local but that we had from before but not for a while. The website auto saves the address and credit card similar to how just eat would. He passed me his phone to input my order, so I did then continued to checkout to find another address already on there, it’s his account, his credit card, but some one else’s full address, door number, street, post code. This address was a few estates away from us so not exactly a auto input from location services as it’s too far away, - I’d understand if it put on automatically next doors address or something. He brushed it under the carpet immediately saying “oh dunno why that’s there”
I memories the postcode and door number and obviously google mapped it to ensure it was an address. I even drove past the house, a mini parked outside, flowers in the window, so it’s actually a place.
Has he previously ordered a take away there or is this a simple technical error? Should I be worried?

OP posts:
pensionconfusion · 01/09/2022 17:12

Also if you've had to stop pension contributions etc while now working then this can also add to your argument for more money.

burnoutbabe · 01/09/2022 17:13

What app is it ordered via as I am not sure you can "delete your order history" with most apps.

EmEllGee · 01/09/2022 17:25

Definitely dodgy. If there is not much affection between you anyway, and you can otherwise tolerate living with him - is it possible to co-parent under one roof? Effectively end the relationship, so you both have your freedom - but without uprooting immediately. Might give you a bit of a chance to settle into your job and decide what to do next.

Flowerpot101 · 01/09/2022 18:00

EmEllGee · 01/09/2022 17:25

Definitely dodgy. If there is not much affection between you anyway, and you can otherwise tolerate living with him - is it possible to co-parent under one roof? Effectively end the relationship, so you both have your freedom - but without uprooting immediately. Might give you a bit of a chance to settle into your job and decide what to do next.

This! I’m going to do this! I’m going to tell him that we are over, and co parent! If he demands I leave, then I’ll speak to the council. I’ve sat here in his shadows for 12 blooming years, and I don’t have a single friend left or even a penny to my name! His mates aren’t my mates either. He won’t have anything to do with my family and doesn’t see me as equal. I’m blooming done. Just done. Im also a bloody fool!

OP posts:
Flowerpot101 · 01/09/2022 18:02

Flowerpot101 · 01/09/2022 18:00

This! I’m going to do this! I’m going to tell him that we are over, and co parent! If he demands I leave, then I’ll speak to the council. I’ve sat here in his shadows for 12 blooming years, and I don’t have a single friend left or even a penny to my name! His mates aren’t my mates either. He won’t have anything to do with my family and doesn’t see me as equal. I’m blooming done. Just done. Im also a bloody fool!

I’m also sick of worrying about the “what ifs” anything has to be an improvement of quality of life than this!

OP posts:
Alcemeg · 01/09/2022 18:03

You're not a bloody fool OP, you seem to be doing pretty well in difficult circumstances. Good luck Flowers

JubileeTissues · 01/09/2022 19:02

"So if that’s the case and you’re certain you’ll get the bare minimum out of him anyway aka he’ll lie then what’s the benefit of doing detective work to find shit out? You’re as good as calling him a liar so isn’t that enough to end it?"

Yes, that's why I said or just dump him. Knowing someone is lying to your face when you've asked them for honesty hurts more than the affair. Not recommended and it's got naff all to do with the internet.

MimmiCooper · 01/09/2022 19:41

I once ordered flowers for a friend online and often with random companies her address comes up as one of the choices for delivery .

Has anyone in the house ordered something for someone in past few years ?

Lunabun · 02/09/2022 08:42

@Flowerpot101 in my experience it's really not normal or okay for the working partner to control the finances in the way you describe. I have also given up work to raise our babies, and the idea that I wouldn't have equal access to my husband's money would honestly never enter my head. I know we're married so there's a legal aspect there, but even if we weren't, it's just not something any decent partner or father would do.

I think legal advice as a PP advised is definitely a good idea x

incandescentglow · 07/09/2022 12:21

any update @Flowerpot101 👀 hope you're doing okay x

Justanotherlittlename · 17/09/2022 00:05

Hope You’re ok @Flowerpot101 x

justwonderingagain · 17/09/2022 00:51

Hope you are okay and he's a blubbering mess! xx

Backtoblack1 · 17/09/2022 02:18

I would deffo be keeping watch on that house on the nights he is out

Flowerpot101 · 17/09/2022 11:04

Hi… so I did eventually bring it up with him, I couldn’t help myself. He swore blind that I blowing it out of proportion and accusing him of things that he hasn’t done, he had no idea what address I was on about. Said he’d got nothing to hide and passed me his phone to check the app. So I did as I definitely saw this address previously. Anyway, I went into the account and our address was in the auto fill but (where the other address had previously been). He was like see, nothing. So I went into like account details section and it was there saved as the ‘primary’ address in the account details, he still swears it is a glitch and has no idea why it’s there.

OP posts:
figmaofmyimagination · 17/09/2022 11:31

I’m so sorry. He’s lying to you though. There’s literally no way that’s a glitch, companies get fined mega money for not safeguarding personal details like that, especially when payment methods are linked!

nachoavocado · 17/09/2022 11:33

Flowerpot101 · 17/09/2022 11:04

Hi… so I did eventually bring it up with him, I couldn’t help myself. He swore blind that I blowing it out of proportion and accusing him of things that he hasn’t done, he had no idea what address I was on about. Said he’d got nothing to hide and passed me his phone to check the app. So I did as I definitely saw this address previously. Anyway, I went into the account and our address was in the auto fill but (where the other address had previously been). He was like see, nothing. So I went into like account details section and it was there saved as the ‘primary’ address in the account details, he still swears it is a glitch and has no idea why it’s there.

Did you screen shot it and send it to yourself?

He's a lying cock

Booklover3 · 17/09/2022 12:38

Sorry I still think he’s lying

honeylulu · 17/09/2022 13:02

Lying bastard. I bet he felt cocktail showing you the auto fill address. He hadn't even thought to check and amend the account details.

His reactions are all wrong for this to be innocent. If it was a friend or relative who'd used the account he'd have said so, no reason not to. If it was fraudulent activity (a couple of my friends have had their just eat accounts hacked and ordered from) he'd have been concerned and leapt into action. If it was a glitch (unlikely) he would have been concerned about fraud, ditto above.

He knows exactly whose address it is and why it was on there and he doesn't want you to know because it's not good.

Can you do some detective work on the address? The land registry records (£3) will tell you who owns it though if it's rented that won't help. Can you check the electoral roll? Once you have a name you can look on social media. It won't necessarily improve the situation itself to find out who's involved but getting that question answered might give you peace from wondering. It also might help force him to tell you the truth.

honeylulu · 17/09/2022 13:02

Arggh! That should say I bet he felt cocky not cocktail!!!!

Ishacoco · 17/09/2022 13:36

You need to find out who lives there!

bluebell34567 · 17/09/2022 14:11

Ishacoco · 17/09/2022 13:36

You need to find out who lives there!

agree. otherwise you wont rest.
it is stupid of him to give his phone to you when he is messing around.

CornishTiger · 17/09/2022 14:22

At this point I’d have been round to the other property with a firm door knock. I don’t care if they think I’m bat shit crazy!

HappyHamsters · 17/09/2022 14:25

I would be tempted to go round there and say you keep getting deliveries for this address so just want to check they have the right name and details.

Mushroomlady · 17/09/2022 14:28

Just a thought. Is the door number similar to yours? Wonder if he might have entered your postcode but selected the wrong address in a hurry and then it autofilled?

ThisUserNameIsAvailableOk · 17/09/2022 14:35

"Just a thought. Is the door number similar to yours? Wonder if he might have entered your postcode but selected the wrong address in a hurry and then it autofilled?"

🤣 that you OPs cheating husband?